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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 788395 times)

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14835 on: September 10, 2018, 03:04:32 pm »

You decide that this nightmare is nowhere prophetic, but just a very, very strange dream brought by your night-time indulgence into fat, smelly foods.

Never again (hopefully)!

1212 AD, Autumn

As you prepare for visiting Eldrican with your wife and your heir, two women approach you - one is your sister Aina, the other is your aunt Cylia.

Both want to visit Eldrican as well.

A) "Sorry, the invitations didn't include you girls."
B) "Sure thing, it's a big family reunion after all!"
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14836 on: September 10, 2018, 03:06:39 pm »

A
« Last Edit: September 10, 2018, 03:16:44 pm by ZBridges »
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Blood_Librarian

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14837 on: September 10, 2018, 03:06:44 pm »

b
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if you want something wacky
Quote from: ChiefWaffles, MAR Discord
I continue to be puzzled by BL's attempts to make Aratam blatantly evil

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14838 on: September 10, 2018, 03:08:04 pm »

A

We need them at home just in case this is a Red Wedding.
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14839 on: September 10, 2018, 03:09:09 pm »

A
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14840 on: September 10, 2018, 03:10:18 pm »

B

I'm not entirely sure what a Red Wedding is, but I can't help but sing, it's a nice day for a red wedding.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14841 on: September 10, 2018, 03:10:48 pm »

B

Nah, the dream is about when our son is grown up. That's when the remnants of Helliste plot with our Eldrican relatives to kill our family.
Perfectly safe today, but I'd think twice if any marriage offers are made.
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Taricus

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14842 on: September 10, 2018, 03:12:48 pm »

A.

I think we MIGHT want to do a purge of the pantheonist clergy before we go to war with helleste, JUST in case.
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We sided with the holocaust for a fucking +1 roll

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14843 on: September 10, 2018, 03:16:43 pm »

B

Nah, the dream is about when our son is grown up. That's when the remnants of Helliste plot with our Eldrican relatives to kill our family.
Perfectly safe today, but I'd think twice if any marriage offers are made.

Even without the dream, I'd feel rather nervous about sending our entire fucking bloodline to a celebration of a faith that is hostile towards our own. Putting all our eggs in one basket is just a bad idea.

If they decide to take out the Methiant-Cydwyl branch of the family at the party, and we bring the entire Methiant-Cydwyl branch of the family to the party, it is game over.

If they decide to take out the Methiant-Cydwyl branch of the family at the party, but we leave some designated survivors at home, we can keep playing.
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Taricus

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14844 on: September 10, 2018, 03:21:09 pm »

To be fair we could seek some form of accommodation with them and their faith (Religious freedom anyone?) and IIRC the current king of Eldrican is kin and out of the way of succession.
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We sided with the holocaust for a fucking +1 roll

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14845 on: September 10, 2018, 03:24:10 pm »

To be fair we could seek some form of accommodation with them and their faith (Religious freedom anyone?) and IIRC the current king of Eldrican is kin and out of the way of succession.

Yes, but so is the current queen and heirs of Helliste, and we are not above fucking with them. Why should we assume they are any more trustworthy than we are?
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14846 on: September 10, 2018, 03:30:03 pm »

You decide that the girls aren't invited.

A week-and-half later, and without incidents on the way, you reach the Eldrican capital. It's still very much a standard city, but big and with great emphasis on marble and granite buildings. Very tall buildings, you've gotta add.

The palace of Eldrican royalty seems a bit small, and probably wasn't renovated in quite a while.

The reunion feast begins and many guests are present.

A very grumpy Damdamian priest, probably of some influence, is seated to the far left, amongst with two men of Damdamian hair and coloration, who seem to be rather enjoying the food on their table.

Oh, there's Ciri! And her husband, whatshisface- Sigurd of Helliste! Of course Feir and his wife Sigurda lead the feast at the centre of the tables. Hein, with half his hair lost and his face covered in a veil that exposes only his left eye, lips and nostrils, sulks at Feir's right hand, dressed in a brown robe with a hood.

Strangely enough for the celebrations' backgrounds, some dwarves are also present. They're seated at Feir's left hand's side, munching happily on some meats. Considering their gaudy clothes, bald heads and jewellry they wear, they are quite possibly businessdwarves, or diplomats, or perhaps both at once.

To the far right, you see some proud, chainmail-clad, noblemen, all with the black-on-white eagle of Rucus. They simply enjoy the food, although you can notice they're casting many stares around the dining hall.

Other than that, the guests seem to be pretty local, for you recognize some emblems of Eldrican nobility amongst them. A whole delegation of Tirines is present, but Alsassians are missing out on the party it seems.

Feir hasn't yet, per custom of the feast, summoned you to seat and dine with him. Maybe its time to strike up a conversation with someone?

A) The dwarves?
B) Ciri and her husband?
C) The Damedians?
D) Some local nobles?
E) Tirine diplomats?
F) The host, Feir, himself?
G) Rucusian delegates?
H) Sad Uncle Hein?
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14847 on: September 10, 2018, 03:33:05 pm »

C B
« Last Edit: September 10, 2018, 10:03:58 pm by ZBridges »
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TankKit

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14848 on: September 10, 2018, 03:34:05 pm »

D
Let's see how Eldrican's doing I guess.
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Taricus

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #14849 on: September 10, 2018, 03:34:36 pm »

C
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Quote from: evictedSaint
We sided with the holocaust for a fucking +1 roll
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