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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 788398 times)

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12780 on: July 09, 2018, 03:08:45 pm »

Cortana scoffs at you.

"You want me to up the dwarves? Fine." Cortana Tigereye asks for a bar of iron, a bar of lead, and a bar of copper; these are easily provided by the palatial smiths.

She has the cyclopi bend the lead into shape of a circle, while the copper is melted down and then crushed into tiny speckles by the fiery dog's breath and paws. Then the iron bar is snapped into three pieces by the cyclopi. The flamingos then swoop everything in their beaks and deliver them into hands of the Sorceress.

She takes a breath, which causes the air in the throne room to visibly recede toward her mouth. The blows into her hands, causing a nobleman-toppling, furniture-flying gust of terrific wind. Everyone lands on the floor, and nobodty sees the magic of the Sorceress at work because a blizzard of bright golden snow engulfs her and then the entirety of the room.

Once she is done and the gold snow dissipates, there is a pitch black candlestick in the Sorceress' left hand. She holds it rather triumphiantly, and the candle on it is as if made of bronze, and the flame is an unusual one; it is dark blue and rather than pointing upwards, it is as if hugging the knot and the bronze candle - not a speck of material is melting however.

Slowly, Cortana approaches the throne and hands you the candlestick, and your fingers both freeze and sear on the tips in the same moment. The candlestick seems as if made of metals, but it is as light as a piece of rolled fabric its size would be.

"What item could be it be?"

Cortana snickers at you and brushes her hair.

"Candlestick of Weather. The fire neither burns nor can be extinguished."

Sorceress Tigereye then conjures up a scroll, which lands in the Treasurer's hands. He blinks several times at it and then at you, before moving up to you.

"No need for whispering, of course the price is higher than usual. Also, I must tell you, that we, the Sorceresses, have noted that you like to employ our services, and that you have Treasury full of wealth to share. Now, I want my part of it."

A) "May I negotiate a price down?"
B) "I refuse to pay such an exorbitant price!"
C) "Of course, you will have your riches."
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12781 on: July 09, 2018, 03:10:09 pm »

C.
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12782 on: July 09, 2018, 03:12:12 pm »

C
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12783 on: July 09, 2018, 03:30:57 pm »

C
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12784 on: July 09, 2018, 03:32:12 pm »

C
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TankKit

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12785 on: July 09, 2018, 03:55:29 pm »

C
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12786 on: July 09, 2018, 04:04:21 pm »

C
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Imic

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12787 on: July 09, 2018, 05:27:18 pm »

C
Don't haggle with the Mistresses of magic.
Haggling with the masters of magic is alright though, they'll probably just make you go to the Citadel of black, evil doom rather than the stronghold of fire and fury, usually because it'll be funnier.
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Imic's no longer allowed to vote.
Quote from: smyttysmyth
Well aren't you cheery
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Regrets every choice he made and makes, including writing this here.

helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12788 on: July 09, 2018, 09:30:32 pm »

have we ever actually tried to negotiate with a sorceress? I mean, it seems like being a steady customer should get us a discount, not the other way around.

A
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12789 on: July 09, 2018, 10:40:53 pm »

C Haggling with people who scoff at Dwarven magic doesn't seem like a good idea. *Prophet has flashbacks to the Dwarf-Methiant wars*
Logged
.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12790 on: July 09, 2018, 11:13:25 pm »

Be told do not have the sorceress do any magic.

Ask them to do the most powerful magic we ever have.

Good plan!

C so we are so broke we never ask for their help again.

omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12791 on: July 10, 2018, 12:56:19 am »

We haggled before with a charismatic man

we got a +2 and got a -2 by angry sorcerer

got a 5 in the end that saved 2 economy

this time we might not have a +2 because our artifact is from a sorcerer, it might even backfire
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

melkor

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12792 on: July 11, 2018, 05:37:40 am »

A
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Quote from: Robocorn
what do postdwarvenists do with goblins?

Quote from: Andreus
We slaughter them by the thousands.
But... you know, we do it ironically.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12793 on: July 15, 2018, 05:30:15 am »

You decide to pay the Sorceress what she requested.

Once she leaves and the Treasury is empty, you have the Candlestick transported to the Orcworld portal tunnel.

1182 AD, Autumn

Reports arrive from the Trade Commission about recent profits from trade.

Quote
1, 1, 2to5

Spices and glasswork sold poorly, but at least managed to bring some profits. Springwine didn't do better, either.

There is a hurried messenger from the Orcworld portal; but also, the cartographic expedition to the west has returned.

The guards are asking whom do you wish to see first.

A) Cartographers took some time, so they can wait a couple minutes more.
B) The Orcworld can wait; I'm more eager to hear what lies to the far west.
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12794 on: July 15, 2018, 05:45:45 am »

A looks more urgent
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