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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 787941 times)

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12510 on: June 24, 2018, 11:05:32 pm »

B Also yeah Haspen is right. Our husband Cyl is directly descended from one of Emperor Cyl I's daughters [I think the oldest one?] so we're basically just switching from the Paternal line of Cyl I to the Maternal line of Cyl I. Seeing as the laws of Methiant allow for women to inherit and our Succession is decided by electing a monarch from the Yoean Dynasty [With some minor exceptions such as Ruberta. Though I assume that she was only allowed to take up the throne with the expectation that she would marry back into the Yoean Bloodline or that at the very least only her children by members of the Yoean Bloodline would be eligible for inheriting the throne from her.] this should be pretty legitimate as all our heirs by Cyl would be descended from an Emperor of the founding Bloodline/Dynasty.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2018, 11:07:27 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12511 on: June 24, 2018, 11:42:34 pm »

B Also yeah Haspen is right. Our husband Cyl is directly descended from one of Emperor Cyl I's daughters [I think the oldest one?]

Cyl the Great only had a single daughter: Erika. She is actually still alive, and runs the country whenever Cyl of Cydwyl is off in Methiant banging the Empress. She is the person our husband's nobles wanted to run Cydwyl until Doge came of age had the King not survived the illness he suffered during our last visit.

Though I assume that she was only allowed to take up the throne with the expectation that she would marry back into the Yoean Bloodline or that at the very least only her children by members of the Yoean Bloodline would be eligible for inheriting the throne from her.] this should be pretty legitimate as all our heirs by Cyl would be descended from an Emperor of the founding Bloodline/Dynasty.

I think the criteria given at a recent Imperial Election (I forget if it was the one that crowned Ruberta or the one the crowned her first husband) was very vague, along the lines of "Has some tie to the crown". I don't think we necessarily require a blood relation to Yoe I to be emperor anymore.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2018, 11:45:47 pm by Weirdsound »
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12512 on: June 24, 2018, 11:53:22 pm »

Personally I don't like that Ruberta got the throne. The chance that the throne might pass out of the bloodline of Cyl shouldn't have been allowed. I'd much like it if we could issue another Succession Edict which disallowed anyone of non-Yoean blood from inheriting. I mean we'd it'd have to wait until after the throne has gone to one of Ruberta's Yoean heirs of course. Otherwise we'd be putting ourself in a very uncomfortable legal situation.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2018, 11:55:41 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12513 on: June 25, 2018, 12:09:02 am »

Personally I don't like that Ruberta got the throne.

I didn't vote for her either, but you cannot argue with results. Methiant has prospered under her reign. If this scheme to absorb Cydwyl succeeds, she might even rival Cyl the Great amoung the greatest leaders in SPAMKINGDOM by the time she is done.

And because elective succession allows us to pick the next emperor, and this player base seems pretty fond of Cyl the Great, I don't think we were ever in much danger of losing the bloodline for good by giving Ruberta the throne.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12514 on: June 25, 2018, 08:11:16 am »

Let me suggest to you that Ruberta's right to succeed depends on how strongly we believe the institution of marriage is defined in our kingdom. I would argue that it's wrong to say Ruberta is not of the Yoean dynasty because the whole point was that she married into the dynasty. She left her home in Eldrican, and presumably her religion as well, to become a Methiantese Pantheonist in her husband's home and expanding her husband's fortunes (chiefly by expanding his family).

Now, individuals may or may not conform perfectly to this ideal – Abis attempted to introduce Leath to Parsian religious practices, Ruberta herself scandalized the court by wearing Eldrican fashion at her second wedding – but the principle is there in our society and its practices. I believe that's why the law is written as it is in the first place, for anyone with sorta-close dynastic tie: not simply blood descent, but also including the binding power of a solemn vow of mutual union.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2018, 08:13:29 am by mightymushroom »
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12515 on: June 25, 2018, 12:56:29 pm »

You decide to stay some more.

Nothing either exciting nor threatening happens, although Cyl seems to have more guards around and the noblemen seem to be avoiding you.

After nearly a month of this frivolous loitering in total, you bid Cyl a kissy farewell and return with your escorts and kids home, to Methiant.

1180 AD, Mid-Spring

The cartographic expedition has returned from the far south!

The men speak that they visited the Republic, Damedia, then skirted southwards through Ysirene, before entering the far southeastern duchies of the Empire, and then ventured into the kingdoms of Spania and Cadia. It seems that your royal grant of priviledge was quite helpful to the cartographers, especially in northern Republic and the religious land of Damedia; but the further they went south, the less questions were asked.

They've noted the high degree of freedom and mobility the lowest peasant class have; it seems they can leave their family homesteads on a whim, and even challenge noblemen and officials in the court, if their case is valid enough. One peasant family was met by the cartographers, the parents and their three kids were traversing from northern Republic to Cadia; all they had to do to leave was to notify their village governor that their house is now empty. A stark contrast with Methiant, Cyl and elsewhere, as here peasants cannot move unless they obtain a grant from the village elder or a nobleman.

For most part, Damdamian lands are comprised of gentle hills and vast flatlands, with rivers and streams cutting through them in great numbers. Strangely, Damdamians have little livestock - donkeys and mules, especially, weren't seen even once - and horses seem to be restricted for use of military and nobility. Forests were also sporadic; lots of them were on outskirts of vast farmlands - speaking of farmlands!

In the south, they had plenty of time to learn about the vast, fertile plains of wheat and barley and flax, which were stretching behind the horizon. Thousands upon thousands of bags of grain were shipped out of those lands in the times of harvest, to the marketplaces and homes of Damdamians elsewhere, the diet supplanted by bounty of saltwater seas; fish and clams and oysters, but also, urchins, seaweed, wavefruits (free-floating mushy apples carried around on the sea waves), citruses and coralmeat (an underwater plum, that one).

They speak that different people from different Damedian cliques still helped each other out with harvest and network, Scanian peasants being escorted about by Imperial soldiers and banners of Imperial duchies patterned on the merchants' wagons. Despite fragmentation, there's still a strong unity between the southerners, especially when it comes to religion and brotherhood.

However, the southern merchant princes of Spania became quite interested about the surplus in which Methiant has minerals, in particular Spanians where interested about gold. Further prying about made it obvious to your explorers that while far-southern Damdamian peoples have wide access to amazing variety and amount of foodstuffs and other delicacies, the southern shores are somewhat lacking in metals and jewels.

They also visited the slave markets of southern Damdamia; there, black elves (really, black-skinned elves with no hair), impoverished Damdamians and some exotic brides and pretty boys with tanned skin and red tatoots from some distant land called 'Moria' were sold for the highest bidder. The prices were absurd; some noblemen were offering as much as the slaves' weight in silver coin. The market is thriving, slave variety astounding, and indifference of common people to slaves' wellbeing more than obvious.

They had learned little about the distant lands beyond Damdamian shores, and even less about the 'thick, dark' forests on the other side of the sea from where the dark elves came. Apparently, the forest is called 'Anutuheatacull' or something like that, and they're ruled by king-priests, or priest-kings, and apparently they practice live sacrifices of their own subjects and slave duty is duty most sacred and respected - something something about self-harm was also mentioned.

The explorers from Cartography Charter even brought sketches of coats of arms of Spania, Cadia and that strange elven land of Anutuheatacull.


Your courtiers are greatly impressed by the scope and achievements of the cartographers. The lead explorer bends his knee and his fellows follow.

"My lady Empress, to bring geographic and cultural enlightenment for people of Methiant, as we were returning from the south, we were already discussing about going on another expedition before this year is over. During brief stay at the House of Learning, to leave information and map sketches for the map makers, our superiors and colleagues agreed that our voyages simply must not end with this one. Therefore we ask of you - please sponsor another expedition for Cartography Charter! We've reached a consensus that it's about time we gain knowledge about distant republics beyond Eldrican Kingdom."

A) "No, no, you had enough money given to you. Now shoo to your learning chambers!"
B) "Fine, distant west it is this time! Take the money and may God of Travelers bless you!"
C) "Fine, but I have a different idea for where you're going... (specify destination/direction)"
« Last Edit: June 25, 2018, 01:02:02 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12516 on: June 25, 2018, 01:07:03 pm »

Either we're surprisingly good at this or they rolled a 6.

B West is as good a direction as any. The republics intrigue me, and take an expert or two from the Fireblood Court to keep an eye out for an opportunity to trade or smuggle technologies.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2018, 01:14:44 pm by mightymushroom »
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Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12517 on: June 25, 2018, 01:07:23 pm »

B
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12518 on: June 25, 2018, 01:08:31 pm »

B
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12519 on: June 25, 2018, 01:19:28 pm »

B Okay.

Also tbh the bill of rights is sounding a little bit attractive.
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12520 on: June 25, 2018, 01:36:01 pm »

B

B Okay.

Also tbh the bill of rights is sounding a little bit attractive.

Agreed, but it isn't worth messing up our merger with traditionalist Cydwyl. It can be something for our heir to figure out.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12521 on: June 25, 2018, 02:20:20 pm »

You sponsor another expedition, this time to the far west.

1180 AD, Late Spring

Once again, it is that time for the healers to break the news to you.

You're pregnant with Cyl's third child! Will it be a boy or a girl, you're not sure, but the medics are definitely sure that a child is inside you.

A) Let's keep it secret for once.
B) Another courier to Cydwyl Kingdom!
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12522 on: June 25, 2018, 02:21:26 pm »

B
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VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12523 on: June 25, 2018, 02:24:50 pm »

A little random intrigue!

Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12524 on: June 25, 2018, 02:31:44 pm »

B
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