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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 787809 times)

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12375 on: June 21, 2018, 11:03:53 am »

Lets go AAB.

We know the dwarfs can make artifact weapons with anti-magical beast powers. Graine has the talent to use such a weapon, and could use such a gift to cheer her up. We clearly have interest in hiring a sorceress, an a positive economy that will likely allow us to do so in the future. Hiring a Sorceress in the future will give us magical beast issues.

We have both the means and the motivation to make a beast slaying champion. 
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birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12376 on: June 21, 2018, 11:07:36 am »

AAB

I don't particularly trust Sorceresses. They are opposed to wizards, and everyone knows wizards are kind and good!
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12377 on: June 21, 2018, 11:20:52 am »

A, C, A
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12378 on: June 21, 2018, 12:15:02 pm »

CCA!
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omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12379 on: June 21, 2018, 02:37:42 pm »

First make sure that graine won't turn on US when we give her an weapon

ACA




Didn't the first time the happiness proc happened the adviser implied that not taking the money would be an insult? Also, man, more statues is more gooder imo.


It was 10 hapiness, we never got an 10 again so we can't know if they will only be offended after a certain number
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Baffler

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12380 on: June 21, 2018, 09:39:07 pm »

AAB
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12381 on: June 22, 2018, 02:13:46 am »

aca aca aca aca aca
aab aab aab
ccb
cca



MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

-

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Establish Passage Tax: (once in effect: 1142 - 1169 AD)
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

Proclaim Religious Equality: (once in effect: 1135 - 1172 AD)
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.
ENFORCED REVOCATION: Prevents this Edict from being choosen again for at least 10 years after revocation.

Establish Religion Tax: (once in effect: 1154 - 1172 AD)
Various congregations are given away territories and various tax exemptions for those. With erosion of religious influences upon the state, its prime opportunity to dip our hand into prime source of income that is donations and tithes gathered by those numerous cults present in the empire. It will surely not please them, and, by extension, your subjects.
ENFORCED REVOCATION: Prevents this Edict from being choosen again for at least 10 years after revocation.

---

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1139 AD: Established Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

End of Year 1140 AD: Established The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.

End of Year 1146 AD: Established Diplomatic Corps:
Creation of a small but highly professional cabinet of diplomats and ambassadors that would visit neighbouring countries on regular basis to strengthen ties with nearby rulers and their nobles, and maybe even develop favorable treaties with them.

Summer 1152 AD: Issued the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

End of Year 1153 AD: Established the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

End of Year 1156 AD: Expanded Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.

End of Year 1158 AD: Enacted Settlement Policy:
Guarantee that those willing to settle in previously undeveloped lands or territories yet unclaimed by any nation will be given a certain amount of money to help further their effort. However, this might cause a severe drain on the Treasury, especially during times of sudden, mass migrations to the countryside.

End of Year 1159 AD: Introduced Elective Succession Laws:
Sometimes a firstborn might be below average in terms of his skills to rule the nation, but there might be no other alternatives left, even amongst females. Elective Succession will allow the monarch to select the most skilled to inherit the throne, even a distant (or foreign!) relative of the successor, although this might cause problems with less gifted yet highly ambitious relatives of the next ruler, as well as local nobility.

Late Autumn, 1160 AD: Proclaimed Dissolution of Cloisters:
There are some faiths that are living and dwelling in estates and keeps that once belonged to the Crown, hoarding wealth within! We should force them out, restoring the important buildings to our governance as well as profiting from the stored treasures. Obviously, the worshippers of the faiths in question will be angry about this.

End of Year 1164 AD: Established The Royal House of Learning:
Scholars scribbling down books in secluded libraries and scriptories should be a thing of the past! Let's instead establish a centre of learning, where those of intellect can exchange ideas and educate those willing to learn. It will help the nation develop technologically, although maintenance of this beacon of enlightenment will obviously require yearly costs.

End of Year 1166 AD: Adopted Fireblood Infantry Tactics:
Fireblood weapons are currently slow to load and rather inaccurate, but even one in dozen of shots is bound to hit someone. Some believe that infantry should be given hand-held Fireblood weapons, which would be fired en masse against the enemy before melee combat, while horsemen equipped with melee weapons attack the flanks in glorious charges or mows down those who were lucky to survive the rain of hot iron.

End of Year 1167 AD: Established Imperial Trade Commission:
To ensure stricter and better control of trade in the Empire and through its borders, an imperial guild of trade and commerce should be created. Its officials will keep an ever-vigilant eye on market trends, supply and demand, as well as establish and maintain favorable tariffs and taxes on goods, and help our merchants gain upper hand over foreigners. Hopefully, they will avoid price gouging, corruption, favoritism and other nasty things.

End of Year 1174 AD: Endorsed State Patronage of Arts:
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!

End of Year 1176 AD: Established Royal School of Cartography:
People come from near and far, yet we know little of the places they visit, the royal scribes clinging to rumors, hearsays and random tales of strangers. A proper society of cartographers and scholars at the House of Learning could help expand our knowledge about the region, and the continent - who knows, maybe entire world in the far future!
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Taricus

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12382 on: June 22, 2018, 02:21:00 am »

Issue Bill of Rights
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12383 on: June 22, 2018, 02:27:22 am »

No Edict
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12384 on: June 22, 2018, 02:34:28 am »

Calendar of Festivities
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Baffler

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12385 on: June 22, 2018, 02:36:08 am »

Calendar of Festivities.
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12386 on: June 22, 2018, 02:43:49 am »

No Edict


None of the legal Edicts are a good fit for the moment.

Bill of Rights: Could fuck with our attempts to peacefully assimilate the highly traditional Cydwyl.
Passage Tax: Our cash flow is good enough that we don't need to be doing stupid shit to boost it.
Calendar of Festivities: Why would we spend perfectly good money to boost happiness when it is already maxed out?
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12387 on: June 22, 2018, 02:44:59 am »

Maxing out happiness gives us free money every year.
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12388 on: June 22, 2018, 02:49:37 am »

Yes. But its not free if we are spending money on our happiness. If we buy festivals, at best that money allows us to break even.

Lately we have been maxing happiness without even trying. So long as our luxury goods keep hitting a few happiness boosts here and there, and we don't do anything dumb to piss our people off, we should still get that money at the end of most years.
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Empress Ruberta I of Methiant!
« Reply #12389 on: June 22, 2018, 03:02:13 am »

I'm pretty sure it's more than one unit of money we get out of them, sound we have the option to build a statue with it and that's only offered when we have max econ.
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