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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 777053 times)

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10425 on: April 26, 2018, 01:01:47 pm »

C We've had plenty of people who we've trusted somewhat betray their word before. So I'm very much doubting that the Parsians who probably really really dislike us right now will keep their end of the deal.
Logged
.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10426 on: April 26, 2018, 01:10:17 pm »

bbbbbbbbbb
ccccc

What I think is that there are always enemies. If we owned the whole world Haspen could still roll out Martians.

;vc

* Haspen writes that down.



You decide to sign the papers. Peace comes to Methiant and Parsia, the latter beaten and humilitated. Saenn is dispatched with Alalkan to Karasau.

You later learn that Alalkan has become the new King of Parsia, as the old King Shapur has given his crown to the youth.

1167 AD, Late Winter

Peoples celebrate the return of their sons and fathers and husbands back to Methiant. Noblemen and wealthy merchants celebrate the expansion of estate market thanks to your renovations.

1167 AD, End of the Year

The Advisor lays out the Scrolls of Kingdom Status upon your desk, adn you lean in to read the numbers.

Quote
5to6, 4to6(1to3)

Happiness: 5
Population: 5
Economy: 7
Army: 7
Imp.Authority: 0

Those are some decent numbers.

"Thanks to the victories made by our Army, the recruiters managed to get many aspiring and glory-seeking youth and travelers flocking to the military banner. The authority of the Emperor is also stable."

"Shall you issue an Edict this year, sire?"

A) "Okay, sure."
B) "Meh, nah."
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Fluffe9911

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10427 on: April 26, 2018, 01:18:42 pm »

A
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andrea

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10428 on: April 26, 2018, 01:19:17 pm »

A

No harm checking, and we are currently in a good place to pass stuff.

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10429 on: April 26, 2018, 01:20:40 pm »

A
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Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10430 on: April 26, 2018, 01:21:54 pm »

A
Logged
Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10431 on: April 26, 2018, 01:25:27 pm »

A

I think this is a good time to repel either the religion or passage tax. We have a new gold mine, +10 years of extra gems. We can do away with one of our more troubling sources of income.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10432 on: April 26, 2018, 01:27:53 pm »

MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Establish Imperial Trade Commission:
To ensure stricter and better control of trade in the Empire and through its borders, an imperial guild of trade and commerce should be created. Its officials will keep an ever-vigilant eye on market trends, supply and demand, as well as establish and maintain favorable tariffs and taxes on goods, and help our merchants gain upper hand over foreigners. Hopefully, they will avoid price gouging, corruption, favoritism and other nasty things.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

Endorse State Patronage of Arts:
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!

Establish Royal School of Cartography:
People come from near and far, yet we know little of the places they visit, the royal scribes clinging to rumors, hearsays and random tales of strangers. A proper society of cartographers and scholars at the House of Learning could help expand our knowledge about the region, and the continent - who knows, maybe entire world in the far future!

---

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1135 AD: Proclaimed Religious Equality:
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.

End of Year 1139 AD: Established Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

End of Year 1140 AD: Established The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.

End of Year 1142 AD: Established Passage Tax:
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

End of Year 1146 AD: Established Diplomatic Corps:
Creation of a small but highly professional cabinet of diplomats and ambassadors that would visit neighbouring countries on regular basis to strengthen ties with nearby rulers and their nobles, and maybe even develop favorable treaties with them.

Summer 1152 AD: Issued the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

End of Year 1153 AD: Established the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

End of Year 1154 AD: Established Religion Tax:
Various congregations are given away territories and various tax exemptions for those. With erosion of religious influences upon the state, its prime opportunity to dip our hand into prime source of income that is donations and tithes gathered by those numerous cults present in the empire. It will surely not please them, and, by extension, your subjects.

End of Year 1156 AD: Expanded Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.

End of Year 1158 AD: Enacted Settlement Policy:
Guarantee that those willing to settle in previously undeveloped lands or territories yet unclaimed by any nation will be given a certain amount of money to help further their effort. However, this might cause a severe drain on the Treasury, especially during times of sudden, mass migrations to the countryside.

End of Year 1159 AD: Introduced Elective Succession Laws:
Sometimes a firstborn might be below average in terms of his skills to rule the nation, but there might be no other alternatives left, even amongst females. Elective Succession will allow the monarch to select the most skilled to inherit the throne, even a distant (or foreign!) relative of the successor, although this might cause problems with less gifted yet highly ambitious relatives of the next ruler, as well as local nobility.

Late Autumn, 1160 AD: Proclaimed Dissolution of Cloisters:
There are some faiths that are living and dwelling in estates and keeps that once belonged to the Crown, hoarding wealth within! We should force them out, restoring the important buildings to our governance as well as profiting from the stored treasures. Obviously, the worshippers of the faiths in question will be angry about this.

End of Year 1164 AD: Established The Royal House of Learning:
Scholars scribbling down books in secluded libraries and scriptories should be a thing of the past! Let's instead establish a centre of learning, where those of intellect can exchange ideas and educate those willing to learn. It will help the nation develop technologically, although maintenance of this beacon of enlightenment will obviously require yearly costs.

End of Year 1166 AD: Adopted Fireblood Infantry Tactics:
Fireblood weapons are currently slow to load and rather inaccurate, but even one in dozen of shots is bound to hit someone. Some believe that infantry should be given hand-held Fireblood weapons, which would be fired en masse against the enemy before melee combat, while horsemen equipped with melee weapons attack the flanks in glorious charges or mows down those who were lucky to survive the rain of hot iron.
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

andrea

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10433 on: April 26, 2018, 01:29:23 pm »

Establish calendar of festivities

Fluffe9911

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10434 on: April 26, 2018, 01:30:45 pm »

Establish Royal School of Cartography
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10435 on: April 26, 2018, 01:31:22 pm »

Establish Imperial Trade Commission.
Logged
.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10436 on: April 26, 2018, 01:31:59 pm »

Establish Imperial Trade Commission
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10437 on: April 26, 2018, 01:34:48 pm »

Establish Calendar of Festivities
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10438 on: April 26, 2018, 01:37:31 pm »

Establish Imperial Trade Commission
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milo christiansen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10439 on: April 26, 2018, 01:40:13 pm »

Establish Imperial Trade Commission
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Rubble 8 - The most powerful modding suite in existence!
After all, coke is for furnaces, not for snorting.
You're not true dwarven royalty unless you own the complete 'Signature Collection' baby-bone bedroom set from NOKEAS
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