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Hyped

9 (21.4%)

Cozy

10 (23.8%)

A E S T H E T I C

6 (14.3%)

Strange

17 (40.5%)

Total Members Voted: 42

[MadMonkey]

do kobolds blush?

Regardless-- up we go! As before, watch out for marksdwarves.

+1, but I reiterate that beatboxing some elevator music is a looping important component of our escape.

You conjure yourself some equipment from leftover cave dragon blood.

The blood-boombox begins to come to life with the sound of an instrumental track while you ride the elevator.

You put your mouth to the blood-mic and mimic the sound of a brumubus.

Boom boom kaaah bo bo bom bom kah
Boom boom kaaah bo bo bom bom kah

This goes on for some time.



Ili begins to freestyle to your beat."

"My rap's so sick  they call me ill-y.
Hit Z...         I'm legendary.

Hoes cling to me like my name's Cacame.
That's right...     I'm the best in history.

In time before time. I attacked me.
Awh yeah.    Bitches and money."

You echo that for her, "Bitches and money."

Her: "Biches and money"
You: "Bitches and money!"

This goes back and forth until Ili thinks it's the appropriate amount bitches and moneys.

She lets the instrumental track play for a bit.



She continues.

"Get this straight. I'm not alone.        See,
My kobold  here died and saw the blood sea.
He came back...      with hemomancy
Now It's his turn.           
DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY!"

[King Zultan]

What if we say screw the quest we're on and become rappers instead.

[stingpie]

What if we say screw the quest we're on and become rappers instead.

A tempting proposition...

[MadMonkey]

You struggle to come up with lyrics. The only thing that comes to mind is a pun about military elves saying yo.

Ili says with a bit of frustration, "Uh come on. You got this."

After a moment she starts rapping again.

"Hold up! Hold up!     Don't tell me you got cold feet.
Did you fear The Glyph     when you felt  it's  heat?

There's more to life than fun, more to death than blood,
and more corners of the shape than one.

Listen.

Your problem is naivete You think this'a game then stop
plucking the strings and play!   You should be to words
like shepherd is to herd                and spittin' gold
like no one's ever heard." (heard) (heard) (heard)

[Anonylemon]

>Be a dwarf in the audience
>Argue with other dwarves on whether rapping counts as singing
>Tantrums ensue and the audience starts ripping each other apart
It’s mostly a joke but somehow I imagine conservative dwarves arguing with millennial dwarves on the amount of talent involved in rapping.

[wierd]

building on the above:

Be a dwarf in the audience, and cast aspersions about the quality of the kobold's ability to simulate a musical instrument. Insist that your 11 year old can do a better job.

[MadMonkey]

Ok ok but first... What is your rapper name? I was thinking Hemomasta or 2Catz or something. Once I get some good suggestions I'll make a poll.

[MadMonkey]

I did some editing on my cringy writting to make it so it's easier to listen in your head. Im'a work on the crowd's reaction now!

[MadMonkey]

>Be a dwarf in the audience
>Argue with other dwarves on whether rapping counts as singing
>Tantrums ensue and the audience starts ripping each other apart
It’s mostly a joke but somehow I imagine conservative dwarves arguing with millennial dwarves on the amount of talent involved in rapping.

building on the above:

Be a dwarf in the audience, and cast aspersions about the quality of the kobold's ability to simulate a musical instrument. Insist that your 11 year old can do a better job.

Meanwhile...

You are an 11 year old dwarven child...



What is your name again?

[wierd]

Your parents are unoriginal, and have named you Urist.

[MadMonkey]

Your parents are unoriginal, and have named you Urist.

Urist Okbodthîkut (Urist Doomscroll*)

* Dwarven does not have a specific word for "scroll" so this could also be translated as "Doombook" or "Doomcodex"

You are actually Urist Okbodthîkut IV, to be precise. Your parents are were the king and queen.
In fact, your only notable feature is the fact that you are the new king...

[delphonso]

Check: is it, in fact, good to be king?

[wierd]

While your parents are staunchly traditional, and have given you what they assert is "A good, wholesome dwarven name, filled with a long history, and steeped in tradition", you secretly hate the name, and hate them for having given it to you.

You would rather that they had named you after Cacame instead.

[Schmaven]

Check: is it, in fact, good to be king?

It is, if just for a while...

[stingpie]

As the dwarf kid:
Sprint as far as you can from this disaster, calling all the militia men to fight for the fortress!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Return as a major antagonist after that heathenous kobold escapes.