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Author Topic: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched  (Read 36466 times)

Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #435 on: June 09, 2017, 09:53:23 am »

BDH
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #436 on: June 09, 2017, 10:38:19 am »

DEG

who would know that the tree is an spy?
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #437 on: June 10, 2017, 05:35:45 am »

Quote
Traps, Tree or Decapitation? 1d3 -> 3 -> decapitation it is!

The vines suddenly sprout razors and close in around the groundskeeper's throat - the scream is quite literally cut off as his head is messily severed and passed to you by his disloyal demons, his mouth hanging open in the scarce moments of consciousness he has remaining. With a gesture you make the body rise up and the nearby plants waste no time in ripping into it, drinking it in, growing slowly but surely, the groundskeeper's sacrifice granting them a symbolic, but palpable upswing in spirits. FEED YOUR DEMONS And you'll know how grateful they can be!

You, meanwhile, sink your teeth into the top of the severed head and begin to drink in the remnants of the man's consciousness. Visions swim through your mind as you sip on his brain gently. A SURPRISINGLY FINE VINTAGE well aged with a good deal of trauma And with a considerable hint of repressed tragedy and loneliness. well his problems are over i guess LUCKY WE CAME ALONG

Quote
5

You look at the garden and find it incredibly familiar now, the paths among the treacherous brambles simple enough to walk in your sleep, and the castle beckons like a childhood home as you step lightly along the paths, holding up the head of the groundskeeper like a lantern as a demon of growth and renewal rages inside it.

Then you spot something on the battlements - a lone raven regarding you. It spreads its wings and lands on a nearby tree, which seems ready to snap it up for a moment before holding back in recognition.

The raven straightens out and speaks, seemingly less than confidently. Er, it says, is this thing working? It looks like it's working - well, ahem. Ma'am, it says, Jules the stable boy here, and might he say you look rather wonderful tonight. You take the compliment graciously. HE FLATTERS BUT KNOWS HIS PLACE acceptable for now

He won't waste your time, the raven says, he saw what you did to poor Willem back there and, well, let's say he's had a change of heart about guarding this estate with his life. His life is, after all, very precious to him and, he imagines, your time is fairly precious too. So how about you pretend you did not see each other and you just go on in and resolve matters with the Count, and he'll stick around out here and enjoy a quiet night and maybe look into other places to live? It is rare to hear of someone possessed by a demon of prudence of all things. don't you just love a cowardly demon YOU CAN HAVE THEM DO THE MOST HUMILIATING THINGS

A) Agree to mutual non-interference. Have to reward the smart ones!
B) Could you upgrade that to a full betrayal? should know better than to let us smell blood in the water
C) Improve your bargaining position with demonic violence. BREAK HIM IN HALF AND SQUEEZE OUT EVERY LAST DROP
D) You will permit him only to leave, and a minute for him to leave in. Cast him out and find him later.
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heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #438 on: June 10, 2017, 09:39:05 am »

A

We probably could take him, but I don't see why not
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #439 on: June 10, 2017, 11:10:00 am »

B

If not, all the other kids better run better run faster than our arrow (We won't be chasing afterall and he know that)

If yes, a real reward awaits.
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

birdy51

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #440 on: June 10, 2017, 12:46:22 pm »

C

Break the coward!
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #441 on: June 10, 2017, 12:56:07 pm »

B

We can offer him so much.  Like more demons to stuff in his soul.  Lots of lovely demons for him.

Iituem

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #442 on: June 10, 2017, 02:01:11 pm »

B. It never hurts to have extra lieutenant material in our employ.
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #443 on: June 11, 2017, 04:53:33 am »

You ponder the offer, and declare that this is not enough - you are not interested in half-measures. You will accept submission or death. AS IS PROPER

Quote
6

The raven is silent for a second. You want him to, er, help you kill the people inside the castle?

Yes, you say, unless he would like to end up as the groundskeeper here. The groundskeeper's head pipes up at this point, advising him to listen to you in a demonic crackle of a voice, which startles the raven greatly. Service will bring rewards beyond imagining. Defiance will bring only doom.

Uh, well... he guesses there isn't really much of a choice there?

You smile. There's a good man - now, you're about to make an assault on the castle. And he will help you! OH YES HE WILL

Pick 3:

A) Begin strangling the castle. Let's bring the house down!
B) Burst in through a window screaming. when life closes a door
C) Kick in the front door. YOU BUST IT DOWN AND BURST IN ANYWAY
D) Ride a murder of crows to the roof. never waste a good murder
E) Peel away the walls and dance through them. It'll be great, trust me!
F) Dig around the courtyard for treasure. THERE IS SOMETHING UNDER HERE I CAN SMELL IT
G) Send in the trees! THOSE LOVELY LEAFY TREES
H) See if you can't lift up the castle a bit. You find the damnedest things under castles.
I) Float into the castle like a razor-coated princess. every girl's dream isn't it
J) Set the roof on fire. Looks like it hasn't rained in a bit!
« Last Edit: June 11, 2017, 05:10:44 am by Harry Baldman »
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heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #444 on: June 11, 2017, 05:03:42 am »

Quote
Flit into the castle

Is that perhaps a typo?
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #445 on: June 11, 2017, 05:09:34 am »

Is that perhaps a typo?

Quote from: Wiktionary
flit, v. (third-person singular simple present flits, present participle flitting, simple past and past participle flitted)
  • To move about rapidly and nimbly.
  • To move quickly from one location to another.

Not as far as I'm aware of, though that doesn't quite fit my meaning now that I think about it.
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Chiefwaffles

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #446 on: June 11, 2017, 05:20:10 am »

ACI
Let's go for a combined-arms yet elegant entrance.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2017, 05:22:08 am by Chiefwaffles »
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Quote from: RAM
You should really look to the wilderness for your stealth ideas, it has been doing it much longer than you have after all. Take squids for example, that ink trick works pretty well, and in water too! So you just sneak into the dam upsteam, dump several megatons of distressed squid into it, then break the dam. Boom, you suddenly have enough water-proof stealth for a whole city!

Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #447 on: June 11, 2017, 09:07:27 am »

ADF
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

DolosusDoleus

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #448 on: June 11, 2017, 09:38:46 am »

ACJ
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
Ongoing Forum Thingamajiggers:
Wikipedia Wars: Revengance

birdy51

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #449 on: June 11, 2017, 09:41:49 am »

AGH

It stands for destroy the place with trees!
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses
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