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Author Topic: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched  (Read 34854 times)

Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #630 on: July 02, 2017, 03:26:51 pm »

D
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #631 on: July 03, 2017, 09:09:18 am »

You request the assistance of Jules in the matter - find Nubby a pet that is unequivocally not to be fucked with! And if he fails to find one, create one by whatever means are needed!

Jules thinks about this a moment. Yeah, he says, he thinks he's got a pretty good idea for this. He'll get back to you in a little while.

258 S.I., the Third Week of Winter

Quote
4

You are perhaps a little disappointed when what Jules comes up with appears to be an enormous one-eyed rat that examines you with a peculiarly avid . Grabbed her from a gutter, he tells you, and she fought all the way home, a natural killer if he's ever seen one. Took a little work, mind you, a couple of rituals and what have you, but he's fairly confident in his work on the matter.

Well, you say, you suppose you'll deliver the thing over to Nubby and-

No, no, says Jules, won't be necessary at all. She's very well-trained. Observe, he says and puts the rat down, whereupon it scampers off immediately. You look up at him skeptically, but he explains that the rat's perfectly informed about the intelligence asset she's supposed to be cultivating. Should be there shortly.

258 S.I., On the Cusp of the New Year

You visit Nubby again, and find him well-attended to by the rat. You pick him up and hold him for a second, and he takes the moment to bite you with his teeth, which definitely feel a lot sharper than they look - the bite dislocates one of his teeth, which upon closer inspection appears to have developed a cavity full of what you immediately recognize as the distilled essence of life within death, the true fixative of the soul. You place Nubby back in his crib, and the rat nods to you as you leave, tooth in hand.

Seems like there's enough in there for one person, which does leave you with something of a dilemma.

A) Better inform Princess Annika that it's time for another trip!
B) Hold on to the tooth for now, might come in handy at some point.
C) Submit the essence to extensive analysis for later reproduction!
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Iituem

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #632 on: July 03, 2017, 09:33:10 am »

C, and we might as well visit the Vizier.  Knowledge of all things could come in handy replicating something like this.
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

Glass

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #633 on: July 03, 2017, 09:34:12 am »

C, and we might as well visit the Vizier.  Knowledge of all things could come in handy replicating something like this.
+1.
We can start a necrocracy!
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #634 on: July 05, 2017, 06:06:27 am »

You break out the alchemy toolset and set to work on investigating the nature of this strange essence in the hopes of reproducing it through more conventional means. Not a lot in there, but hopefully you can work something out eventually.

259 S.I., Well Into The New Year

Quote
6

This alchemy thing turns out to not be very difficult at all. After procuring a consignment of mice and diluting the deathly essence to a more manageable concentration, you make good progress on figuring out most of its effects, especially when you start matching them with appropriate poisons that you as a Spymaster happen to be well-informed about. You manage to get the mixture nearly completely down, and manage to obtain some cannibalistic undead mice that last up to a day!

All in all, a very productive month or so of work. You think you will need something a little more extraordinary to ensure longevity, which means you probably need to-

Your secretary knocks on your office door as you peruse your experiment notes - apparently Assante has returned from his mineral investigation, and would like to speak with you on some matter. Ah, you say, let him in! You were rather hoping to ask him a few questions yourself!

The Vizier arrives moments later, garbed in very practical and dusty field gear, his eyes gleaming and his smile nearly twinkling.

Kalja, he says, you're looking wonderful this evening! Very good to be back in the city, you know, it's been quite a busy few months out there in the caves. Many strides have been made.

You nod, that's excellent news, how has it been-

Brilliant, Assante responds, the Lithics have proven most receptive to negotiation and various kinds of dealmaking, and an understanding of sorts has been reached with them. It is unfortunate that they could not be found before they had awakened, but this seems like a perfectly good secondary option - they've got quite a lot of material down there and a great deal of ability to extract it in large amounts, not to mention their natural aptitude with certain gnomic arts and- yes, quite right, telling you these things isn't entirely necessary at this point, you being a reasonably busy woman and everything, so he'll get right to the point! The Lithics would like a goodwill ambassador to oversee at least the first few months of the arrangement!

A goodwill ambassador, you say skeptically. What makes him think you'd be interested in such an arrangement? Your presence in the capital is in many ways quite indispensable for the duties that you're expected to perform.

Well, Assante says, where to begin? For one, you seem quite comfortable in darkness and in fact have a strong aversion to sunlight, which is as far as he understands entirely absent from Utterdark Cave. Hence the name. Secondly, there is a large number of fairly healthy peasantry in the nearby lands that he is fairly sure would be overlooked if they went missing. Thirdly, they have access to many things a Spymistress would be keen to bring to the Queen's attention - technologies to be adapted, resources to be watched out for, advantages to exploit! And finally, it'd be only for a few months - just long enough for him to train a proper ambassador with the, er, necessary enhancement he'd like a permanent liaison to have.

You think on this, and reply that:

A) Seems that things in the capital are slow enough that you need not fret much over national security. You have a deal, Assante!
B) You'd certainly need recompense for this, how about kicking some extra funding your way for the favor?
C) You'll help, but in return he'll need to provide assistance on a project of your own, one involving the essence of life within death!
D) You don't think you want to go to Utterdark Cave at all, but are flattered by his consideration.
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10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #635 on: July 05, 2017, 06:12:10 am »

C
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heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #636 on: July 05, 2017, 08:37:40 am »

C
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #637 on: July 07, 2017, 09:44:22 am »

C with this phrase his pants will be wet
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
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He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #638 on: July 07, 2017, 04:58:01 pm »

How about a tit-for-tat arrangement, you ask, you help him with his weird project and he helps you out with yours?

He'd be happy to, Assante responds! What project would that be?

Well, you say slyly, you would hate to say too much about the preliminary results, but you do believe you may have reverse-engineered the very process of undeath itself! Mostly! You just seem to lack some important reagents to refine the fixation of the soul, and perhaps some procedural nuances still elude you. Here, you pass him the notes, you have it all written down here!

Assante looks through the notes. Oh my, quite exciting. Cannibalistic undeath available for all at relatively low cost? He'd be honored to assist!

In that case you do believe you have a deal, you say as you contemplate what to pack and, more importantly, who of your available underlings to leave in charge.

A) Captain Bukhar has seniority and, you would say, precisely the kind of touch required to hold the fort.
B) Jules, though perhaps not as proven as the captain, could surely use a test of his organizational prowess.
C) Well, if Assante is good enough to carry on your experiments, why not make him the substitute spymaster as well?
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #639 on: July 07, 2017, 05:07:24 pm »

B
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

DolosusDoleus

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #640 on: July 07, 2017, 05:10:19 pm »

A
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
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VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #641 on: July 07, 2017, 05:10:38 pm »

A We need a good cover man, someone who people will look at and not go "thats a demon!"

heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #642 on: July 07, 2017, 05:11:26 pm »

A
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

Iituem

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #643 on: July 07, 2017, 07:07:16 pm »

A. Captain Bukhar's been a little underused, but he is our best man for solving problems through extreme violence (our own demonic past notwithstanding).
« Last Edit: July 08, 2017, 08:51:00 pm by Iituem »
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #644 on: July 08, 2017, 09:53:40 am »

A Although we should send him later to an expedition in the seas to grab info and crew from other lands.
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.
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