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Author Topic: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched  (Read 34867 times)

heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #585 on: June 25, 2017, 07:03:25 pm »

B

Jules is tempting to bring, but the captain has been an old and loyal friend.
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #586 on: June 26, 2017, 07:02:53 am »

You tell Captain Bukhar to pack his shit, you're going for a trip into the wilderness! He raises an eyebrow, but seems to warm to the idea when you mention Princess Annika - she was all right as far as he recalls. Going on a hunt, you say? Better pack the crossbow then. Two, maybe. Actually three - you will need one too. And some knives as well.

Unsurprisingly, Princess Annika's chosen companion (well, chosen is perhaps a strong word - unshakable would be more appropriate) is from the diplomatic team. She watches you and the good captain like an owl as you prepare for the ride out into the wilderness. You leave your secretary in charge of business at home by note - ever since you became fully nocturnal your schedules have developed a very saddening lack of overlap.

You and Princess Annika catch up on the way - she appears very curious about how you've been doing lately, having missed being able to chat with you like this. You chatter and gossip in the evenings when the sun is low and you wake up.

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4

Every now and then you stop at an inn, and you with the help of Captain Bukhar organize the disappearance of a local poacher or two. They grow 'em fairly delicious out here, you're pleased to note. Considerably better than what you get from a prison, that's for certain.

258 S.I., After A Week's Journey

Through your personal request you hold up the coach a little so that you arrive at your destination well into sundown so that you're at your best when you make your entrance.

Lady Something-or-other is a hale and hearty woman who absolutely feels at home in her country manor. Affluent, childless and certainly not more than 30 years old, she appears to have taken to a widow's lifestyle without missing a beat, and the first thing you notice about her estate is the sheer number of hunting trophies.

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3

Though she appears reasonably keen on making conversation with you at the dinner table, you do get the sense she is perhaps a little bit disappointed at the presence of you and Captain Bukhar in her home. Certainly not enough to be rude about it, mind you. Merely enough to not extend the same sort of warmth she has for the Princess.

In any case, since nobody is tired and a night hunt seems like a smashing idea to your host once Princess Annika floats it about, you waste no time in getting right to it, and of the six of you who go, nobody appears to have much trouble with prowling the woods after dark - Lady Something-or-other clearly appreciates the challenge, her old manservant is intent on keeping a stiff upper lip by any means necessary, you can see perfectly in the dark, Captain Bukhar is a good enough shot that the night is just a minor hindrance, the Astral Dragon appears to thrive in the dark in her own special way and Princess Annika herself is content to go through the motions while skillfully imitating enjoyment.

At one point she asks you to have Captain Bukhar run interference for her companion, and you acquiesce out of politeness. At this point the two of you walk up onto a bluff and she turns to you with an earnest expression.

What have you really been up to, she asks of you with terrible curiosity. You've been acting very strangely this whole year, and it's clear you've, well, changed a bit. The whole nocturnal thing, for instance. And the way you seem to be eating people quite regularly now, that's a bit of a change too. What's going on?

Her tone is perfectly friendly, but you get the sense she's done enough investigation for it to be impossible to politely deny her.

A) Tell her the whole truth of what you've been doing this past year or so.
B) Tell her about your changes, but leave out the bit about Nubby.
C) Tell her about Nubby and your changes, but leave the actual forces involved unexplained.
D) You don't appreciate being spied on, and you don't think you have to tell her anything.
E) Run away.
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10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #587 on: June 26, 2017, 07:52:28 am »

B
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birdy51

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #588 on: June 26, 2017, 08:10:55 am »

A.

It would be best to come clean, at least with one person. Just, as a way out of this mess if we need it.
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

Iituem

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #589 on: June 26, 2017, 09:36:58 am »

B, we need to keep our son relatively protected, after all.
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #590 on: June 26, 2017, 10:10:38 am »

A

If we can't kill him, maybe she can.
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #591 on: June 26, 2017, 01:35:42 pm »

B, always leave them wanting more.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #592 on: June 26, 2017, 04:57:53 pm »

B Oh yeah that. You know the old magic guy we replaced with that cool gnome guy? Yeah he was playin' around with Demons which we learn is a awesome pass time by the way. Make good friends those demons do!
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #593 on: June 27, 2017, 05:47:50 pm »

You don't find it terribly likely that she'd know much about Nubby, so you decide to be economical with the truth here a little and instead expound more on the demonic business that you've been elbow-deep into as of late.

As you might expect, all of this is both broadly news to Princess Annika and dreadfully interesting. Her questions are assuredly many - are you really immortal now? Does the Queen know? Most importantly of all, can you repeat the process? What would be involved in that, do you think? Would she be able to take advantage of such an option in the not particularly distant future? She could see herself eating people to remain forever young, personally.

A) Answer honestly that you have no idea about whether your condition is in any way communicable.
B) Explain to her that while it is pretty cool to be notionally immortal, the downsides are many, terrible and probably not worth it for a person in her position.
C) Commit to the notion of helping Princess Annika receive your 'curse', which is to say tell her that you'll look into the possibilities.
D) Only one way to find out if this is doable, and that's to trust your intuition and take advantage of the fact that you're alone here.
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Iituem

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #594 on: June 27, 2017, 06:02:50 pm »

C, let's have friends in immortality!
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

DolosusDoleus

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #595 on: June 27, 2017, 08:07:03 pm »

C
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
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Glass

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #596 on: June 27, 2017, 08:09:46 pm »

We are all terribly depraved.

C.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #597 on: June 27, 2017, 08:12:57 pm »

C Thus began our probably horrible inhumane experiments to discover how to spread our condition.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

birdy51

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #598 on: June 27, 2017, 08:14:10 pm »

C

Oh Princess...
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched
« Reply #599 on: June 27, 2017, 09:31:50 pm »

B

Do you guys not care about her wellbeing in the slightest?
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.
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