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Author Topic: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched  (Read 36848 times)

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #45 on: May 16, 2017, 10:59:24 am »

A No need to bother the gods when we can do this ourselves.  They will be pleased by how clever we are.

NRDL

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #46 on: May 16, 2017, 12:17:31 pm »

A
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #47 on: May 16, 2017, 01:39:26 pm »

C Trust in the Old ways!
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Draignean

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #48 on: May 16, 2017, 01:40:34 pm »

A
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I have a degree in Computer Seance, that means I'm officially qualified to tell you that the problem with your system is that it's possessed by Satan.
---
Q: "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
A: "No, not particularly."

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #49 on: May 16, 2017, 06:52:44 pm »

With all your heads put together, surely it couldn't be that difficult to get through a door. These librarians can seemingly do it and most of them look like they couldn't find their own ass with two hands and an augur.

Quote
7!

The glyph, you immediately decide. The glyph is the key - the signature of the Chancellor, the only one high-ranking enough to peruse the archive. But not the glyphs of the old Chancellors, this door would know they are dead. You want the current one's particular signature - as you might expect, the exact shape of the glyph is a well-kept secret.

But what you realize, however, is that you have seen the Chancellor's handwriting, in the shape of certain letters and notices you unearthed in your preliminary research, some of them from back in the days before she was Chancellor as such. Gears turn in your head as you experiment with strokes of your hand, trying to visualize the technique for a moment.

You reach for the stylus. Your agents gasp. In a fluid motion you generate a glyph with utter conviction, your hand not slipping one moment as you let oblivion come over you, the sensation of the Hidden God coming in to roost in your mind.

The glyph glows for a second, and the door greets you as a Chancellor, a truer master than the woman who can't even draw the same glyph twice correctly.

Beyond lie the secret repositories - the records that the Empire wished to forget, but could not bring itself to destroy. Somewhere in the vast sea of scrolls and antique manuscripts is what you seek. And, it occurs to you, many things beside that, with nobody around to particularly stop you.

A) Find what you came here for and leave - you do not want to bring the Archive on your head when they finally catch on.
B) Read and memorize as many secrets as you can, but take nothing.
C) Rob the place blind - these bastard librarians own these scrolls no more than you do.
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Wolfhunter107

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #50 on: May 16, 2017, 07:09:27 pm »

B
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Just ask yourself: What would a mobster do?
So we butcher them and build a 4chan tallow soap tower as a monument to our greatness?

Puppyguard

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #51 on: May 16, 2017, 07:12:53 pm »

B
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #52 on: May 16, 2017, 07:58:34 pm »

C Now this is something worth much more than all that shitty gold! Knowledge!
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

chubby2man

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #53 on: May 16, 2017, 08:18:46 pm »

C
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Sindari Immortals Play as an immortal being trying to subvert an evil empire of (for now) stronger immortals. On *very* long term hiatus.

ZBridges

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #54 on: May 16, 2017, 09:26:40 pm »

B
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VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #55 on: May 16, 2017, 10:23:35 pm »

We are but theives of knowledge.

And if we take nothing but one thing they wont notice, we can always just come back...

B

omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #56 on: May 17, 2017, 12:04:19 am »

B
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

NRDL

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #57 on: May 17, 2017, 12:06:37 am »

B
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #58 on: May 17, 2017, 04:22:57 am »

You decide to only peruse the archive and take note of anything of real value, sending your minions to fan out and search for particularly juicy secrets.

Quote
2

Most of these, you quickly realize, are things you absolutely do not care about, such as the existence of an heir to the Imperial throne some four centuries ago in the forbidden jungles of Kudu-Kai or clear evidence of graft in the infamously shady Treaty of Jovanast even longer ago than that. There are plans for sneak attacks that never materialized, and preliminary schematics for experimental tools of horrid sorcerous destruction that, were you even able to understand them, you wouldn't feel safe showing anyone (particularly since the only specialist in such matters you have on hand would be the Vizier).

There is a warning about the Inimic, an exhaustive yet very stimulating scroll that seems to describe well in advance what you've heard about it in centuries since - plagues rising from the ice, a deathly storm boiling up from the south, the waters rising to consume Old Haresh, capital of the Empire of the Moon and Stars. Seemingly ignored at the time, it hangs here as a grim reminder of the Library's greatest failure.

But among all this you do find what you were looking for - a mountain of intelligence reports half a millennium old about names you don't recognize and places that do not matter, save one entry. It details the work of one Yugrom of Kudu under the auspices of the Emperor himself, petitioning demons for the secret of eternal life. When it was discovered he had dipped perhaps a little too deep in the well of demonic knowledge (the report refers to a particular incident you can't find record of even here), he appears to have fled far to the northwest, to the island city-state of Lethop.

You realize after grabbing a particularly old survey map detailing kimberlite pipes in the area from before the Empire colonized and mined the entire area that Lethop is not all that far from Ortfast - three hundred miles to the west, more or less, on the northern edge of the Free Isles. At least according this map - you've seen maps from after that period, and the common thread in all of them is that Lethop is conspicuously absent.

Having found your answers, you pack everything up the way you left it, and make tracks with your minions in tow. Two lives may have been lost in the operation, but you found what you needed to know and left the place mostly the same way you found it. By nightfall the next day, your safehouse is scrubbed of evidence and you are sailing back to Ortfast on the trade winds.

Congratulations! Vaskir Sitar has successfully concluded an operation!

255 S.I., New Year's Eve

As the streets are filled with the typical merriment of a city celebrating another year of relative peace and arguable health, you are in your office, catching up on the events that have transpired in your absence.

Quote
6

The secretary looks quite chuffed as he relays that an important thing did come up - the Patriarch started to get a little uppity, you see, and the Queen took umbrage with the increasing passive aggression of the clergy. You know how it is, an implication here, a gentle insinuation there, it's all terribly infuriating and, while absolutely not treason, nevertheless highly unpleasant.

And he addressed this problem on his own initiative, you question.

Yes, he responds! Well, he started on addressing it, really, most of it was Lady Kalja's work. Long story short, a few nubile novices can go a very long way indeed when your mark lives in seclusion from all earthly pleasures. Locally sourced, too - you'd be surprised what sorts they send to a temple sometimes (but then again, you might not). Kalja arranged the whole thing, got in touch with the right people and now the Patriarch has rather wisely amended his public stance on the holiness of the crown.

The Queen, he mentions, was very pleased at this resolution. Covered any expenses and there was even a bonus for the quick response - always good to have his holiness on your side come the New Year's divination outside the temple.

Right, that's all very good and-

One more thing, the secretary mentions. It'd be a bit gauche for Kalja to outright ask for some kind of reward for taking the initiative in your absence, but it would likely be appropriate that you reward her somehow anyway. She's very charming and can glad-hand with the best of them, and seems to be very eager to prove herself.

But not very devout, you reply. You think for a second about how best to deal with this.

A) Her respect for the Old Ways is circumstantial, and thus she is unworthy of your trust - give her a token ceremony of recognition but nothing else.
B) Ordain her as a full lieutenant of your order - she will make a fine second in command, and come to the gods in time.
C) Oh, she'd like to prove herself? Because it just so happens you have a pending expedition to the lost city of Lethop you could send her on...
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NRDL

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymaster Vaskir Sitar of Ortfast
« Reply #59 on: May 17, 2017, 04:37:27 am »

C. Seems deliciously pragmatic.
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.
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