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Author Topic: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched  (Read 36898 times)

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #300 on: June 01, 2017, 12:11:39 pm »

BCE

Goodbye.

Welcome to SPAMDEMON 2.

birdy51

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #301 on: June 01, 2017, 12:27:57 pm »

JKM!
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

TheBiggerFish

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #302 on: June 01, 2017, 02:30:03 pm »

Heh.
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #303 on: June 01, 2017, 05:44:43 pm »

Quote
4

Music, you say, play some goddamn music! The operatives stand stock still and baffled - play the harmonica, tap dance, sing, you shout, anything! You need to concentrate!

Have to say, most of them have voices like buckets full of toads. Hardly good assassins and thieves. KILL THEM NOW no wait maybe later it's only just getting good look one of them has a jaw harp and

Have to get a grip, you say and leap onto the ceiling. The band does a good job of not interrupting the music, and in fact you hardly need to remind them to bloody well keep up as you start to run away on the ceiling - it's very smooth, you can actually almost slide on it as you blaze a trail through the depths of the branching, labyrinthine cellar.

You've gone for quite some time when you finally come upon a hole that smells strongly of wet fur! A HOLE a hole a hole! It seems to lead up to some kind of light! HE IS THERE KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM no, wait! Not yet! don't cash in the bloody favor yet you moron there's still so much fun to be had

Pick 3:

A) Lose your mind.
B) Eat your crew.
C) Follow the smell of blood.
D) Howl into the dark.
E) Slink through a crack.
F) Sprint away in a random direction.
G) Cry and scream.
H) Bash your head against the wall.
I) Tumble down the stairs.
J) Kill the lights.
K) Go up the hole YES DO IT NOW
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chubby2man

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #304 on: June 01, 2017, 05:46:26 pm »

G,J,K
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Sindari Immortals Play as an immortal being trying to subvert an evil empire of (for now) stronger immortals. On *very* long term hiatus.

heydude6

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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

omada

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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Prophet

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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #309 on: June 02, 2017, 04:21:31 am »

Quote
4

Lights out, you scream at your arriving operatives as tears well up in your eyes, it hurts, it hurts! It hurts so terribly within, won't you have pity? You weep uncontrollably as they quickly extinguish the lantern, which only makes it hurt worse if anything. CAN'T SEE A BLOODY THING fix it fix it fix it now

Your eyes suddenly bulge and widen, and there is a building pressure in your skull as things reorganize and you find yourself seeing quite a lot better, and in spectra you haven't found time to appreciate before an incredibly grotesque and mind-altering transformation was forced on you. They tried to be gentle, just so you don't wear out too quickly, all too easy to just completely wire things the wrong way and watch the fireworks. YEAH YOU BETTER APPRECIATE THEIR BLOODY EFFORTS TO MAKE THIS WORK now remember if you don't stop weeping in a week it's probably irreversible

You glare around the ancient, forgotten chamber you find yourself in, and find yourself face-to-face with what you recognize as the Vizier's personal apprentice, who you can't say you've had much in the way of personal dealings with since he was brought in at midnight under circumstances attempted (unsuccessfully because you are the best at this accept no substitutes) to be kept secret. Apparently not too shabby of a fellow, but he appears to have grown hooked tongues in places he really shouldn't and developed a severe case of way too many legs for his own good. Looks like he just started adding cadavers to himself at some point. He turns to you, quite surprised.

Pick 3:

A) Rip his legs off one by one. THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO HOG THE GOOD CORPSES
B) Approach him without making note of his vast physical defects. now now there's no need for violence is there
C) Mock his choice in stolen body parts. I kinda wanna see where this goes.
D) Break off a chunk of floor and cave his head in. KILL HIM AND CONSIDER MY FAVOR DONE
E) Try to get some David and Goliath action going. If you're dead set on it, might as well make it fun, right?
F) Break the ice with a joke. we can make this work guys seriously
G) Flirt shamelessly with the horrifying monster. It'd even play to our strengths!
H) Drag your minions in here to fight/watch/die/die/yeah probably die but for a good cause/live but come to envy the dead. DON'T LISTEN TO THESE FUCKERS
I) Engage in mantid mating rituals. listen how about we compromise
« Last Edit: June 02, 2017, 04:33:08 am by Harry Baldman »
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birdy51

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #310 on: June 02, 2017, 07:44:36 am »

DFI

Send the mixed messages! And also shuttle off a demon hopefully.
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #311 on: June 02, 2017, 08:12:43 am »

BFH
« Last Edit: June 02, 2017, 08:53:52 am by 10ebbor10 »
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chubby2man

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #312 on: June 02, 2017, 08:15:15 am »

DFI

Send the mixed messages! And also shuttle off a demon hopefully.
+1
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Sindari Immortals Play as an immortal being trying to subvert an evil empire of (for now) stronger immortals. On *very* long term hiatus.

heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #313 on: June 02, 2017, 08:50:37 am »

ACI

I think this is suitably sadistic
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

Blood_Librarian

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #314 on: June 02, 2017, 10:17:56 am »

DFI

this is amazing.
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if you want something wacky
Quote from: ChiefWaffles, MAR Discord
I continue to be puzzled by BL's attempts to make Aratam blatantly evil
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