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Author Topic: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja the Bewitched  (Read 36478 times)

Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #285 on: May 30, 2017, 07:29:08 pm »

B
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #286 on: May 31, 2017, 03:04:38 am »

Quote
3

You do know that demons like stories, and that if you're interesting enough they might not eat you. That's how you got by in Lethop, after all. But there's still the question of what the best way to do that would be. Your minions look to you warily, looking quite unsettled by the ongoing wet crunching in the distance as you think.

A) Human sacrifice it is, then!
B) Keep an eye out and be prepared to ward off further demonic attacks.
C) Request that the demonic presence show itself so that you can negotiate with it more directly.
D) Give in to desperation and push heedlessly into the depths of this strange catacomb.
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heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #287 on: May 31, 2017, 07:43:59 am »

C
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #288 on: May 31, 2017, 08:06:34 am »

C
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omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #289 on: May 31, 2017, 12:40:02 pm »

C
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #290 on: May 31, 2017, 02:54:17 pm »

You appeal to the dark powers in your own way, demanding a proper audience instead of having them sneak around and eat your people like barbaric night creatures.

Quote
2

And while it does take you a bit to try and persuade the darkness, something does take notice! Specifically, the two operatives you lost, who return bearing their now-extinguished lanterns, and also the familiar livery-clad shape of one of the castle servants.

Of course, all three of them look far worse for wear. In fact, they look barely humanoid, all broken bones and shattered spines and twisted faces with blank white eyes, grinning evilly at you and your compatriots as they brandish menacing claws.

You have sssuch deliciousss fleeeesssssh, one of your former operatives gurgles, sssso muchhh potential... sssurely there isss no problem, it grins a little wider with a mouth full of sharp and terrible teeth, its skin seemingly melted by proximity to whatever horrible force is powering their bodies.

You have their... attention, the servant's mutilated shape says in a clearly mocking tone. What is it that the mortal could possibly hope to offer, more valuable than her body? It ssshould be noted, another says with a shit-eating grin, that your posssition is... tenuous.

A) An operative or three will offer their will to resist, and they can have them without a fight and walk out of here to wreak their narratives upon the world at large.
B) Promise to carry all three of them within yourself, to provide a favor each at a time of their choosing.
C) Offer all three of them lucrative positions in Ortfast's premier spying operation. The pay's very good and you could definitely see yourself finding a lot of productive work for them.
D) Distract them with a more puzzling proposal while you position your operatives to strike at them.
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heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #291 on: May 31, 2017, 03:03:00 pm »

D

I don't like any of their offers so this is likely our only chance.
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

chubby2man

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #292 on: May 31, 2017, 06:08:12 pm »

B
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Sindari Immortals Play as an immortal being trying to subvert an evil empire of (for now) stronger immortals. On *very* long term hiatus.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #293 on: May 31, 2017, 07:38:12 pm »

B Eh. I liked our old spymaster better anyway so losing her won't be to much of a lose for me. So I'll vote to test out the let the demons inside you option.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

omada

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #294 on: May 31, 2017, 11:13:18 pm »

strike an elderitch force without holy knights and wizards?

B let's see how this turnout. with them through our body they can begin to like us and the demon might be an asset. Just need to keep them interested
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #295 on: June 01, 2017, 07:05:00 am »

Quote
5

The demons laugh heartily at your proposal, and you stare at them for a good few moments before they realize you're serious. At this point they laugh a good deal harder.

Eventually, however, they manage to get their bearings, at which point they say, a fiiine bargain, mortal! One favor for eeeach of them, to be named at a time of their choossssing! Hahaha!

The corpses of your operatives and the servant twitch suddenly, then fall apart into a mess of broken bones and loose flesh as the terrible forces inhabiting them dive out and rush into you suddenly! There is a sharp intake of breath among your ten operatives as you let out a terrible scream. To their credit, the demons try to be gentle. Sadly, they're just not terribly good at this sort of thing.

You suddenly feel aware of every inch of your internal organs, a horrible squelching, pulsing mess of repulsive, yet somehow irresistible meat and bones. Alien thought patterns flood into you as the demons start the very wildest of parties in your mind, raiding your memories and rooting through your very being for anything that might provide them with a moment's amusement. Within a minute they've made themselves at home.

Once the spasms subside and you regain your composure (though you've suddenly developed a high fever and need to have a moment to relearn how to walk), you look over your operatives. A viscous red mist pulses at the edges of your vision.

Pick 3 priorities!

A) Lose your mind.
B) Eat your crew.
C) Follow the smell of blood.
D) Howl into the dark.
E) Slink through a crack.
F) Sprint away in a random direction.
G) Cry and scream.
H) Bash your head against the wall.
I) Tumble down the stairs.
J) Crawl on the ceiling.
K) Run on all fours.
L) Kill the lights.
M) Request music.
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chubby2man

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #296 on: June 01, 2017, 07:26:20 am »

Haha well a bit unexpected, but I suppose that's what you get with demons.
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Sindari Immortals Play as an immortal being trying to subvert an evil empire of (for now) stronger immortals. On *very* long term hiatus.

10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #297 on: June 01, 2017, 07:28:26 am »

So, that was a 5. Could have gone much more wrong.

JKM

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DolosusDoleus

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #298 on: June 01, 2017, 07:55:44 am »

Huh.

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heydude6

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Re: SPAMMASTER: Spymistress Kalja of Ortfast
« Reply #299 on: June 01, 2017, 10:42:50 am »

D E G
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.
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