Turn V: Kill Uno
A. Bell Adams runs from Lalli and right into the fray where Kyle Johnson stands victoriously (for the moment) over an unconscious Nix. Before Kyle can claim the spoils of his fight, Adams whips out the lasso like a Harrison Ford imitator, [3 vs. 2] and slings it over Kyle's hand. Kyle pulls his arm into his body, trying to wrest control with Adams digging his heels into the ground and pulling backwards, initiating a round of tug-of-war. Eventually, Adams winds out and Kyle is forcibly pulled towards him; Kyle is able to slip out of the lasso, but it leaves him no time to get out of the way before Adams lunges forward with a Switchblade. [1 vs. 8-1(Get-Over-Here'd)] Kyle brings his hand down and deflects Adams' strike, [2 vs. 9] and then hits him on the shoulder with the Can of Mace, doing so little damage that the blow is absorbed by Adams' shirt.
Cal Ericson realizes that he must branch out beyond the Publix Supermarket to get further on his intended path. He leaves through the sliding front doors, unmolested on the way out as violence and chicken-ravaging happen around him. He walks through the parking lot, which is full of cars as one might expect on a weekend afternoon; despite the abundance of cars, there are no people. At least, it seems at first until Ericson hears someone singing. Peering down the lot, Ericson pinpoints the singing to a man standing on top of a car, hitting golf balls off of a tee. The middle-age man wears cargo shorts, a tropical collared shirt and a fisherman's hat, the type of outfit you'd expecting to be on a dude hitting golf balls in a parking lot. He sings:
"My left stroke just went viral,
Right stroke put baby in a spiral,
Soprano C we keep it on a high note,
There's levels to it and you know."
It's definitely the lyrics from that Kendrick Lamar song, but he's singing it in an old, 1930's Ballroom kind of way. According to the text floating above him, he's a Level 4 NPC named Frankie Dovens.
Off in the distance, Cal can see the skyline of Atlanta and several of its landmarks: The Olympic Park, The CNN Center, Coca-Cola World, The Giant Pyramid That Towers Above All With a Swirling Mass of Purple Energy Forever Thundering In the Sky, and the Georgia Aquarium.
After taking in all of this information, Cal continues until he's in the front doors of the nearby Wal-Mart. Ah, miles of Chinese manufactured goods lingering with the smell of processing chemicals, good old Wal-Mart. Cal spots some fishing poles, and heads on over, as they can't be far from the other camping goods. He's correct, and finds all the fire starters, repellents, water purifiers and survival knives that he wants. The hunting guns are adjacent as well, though annoyingly they're still behind that security glass. But the Camping Backpacks are in the open, and grabs himself a spacious Camo backpack.
Just as Cal is getting comfy with his new pack, he hears a chittering sound behind him, like some sort of animal. He turns around, and halfway down the isle a woman is staring at him. Well, it could be a woman, or else some sort of humanoid. She stands at well over six feet tall, with grey flesh, bulging yellows eyes and long greasy black hair. A stained tank top struggles to contain her sagging breasts and rides over her bloated gut, while her loosely fitting shorts stop above the knee. It's indubitably one of the most terrifying things Cal has ever seen.
She's staring, and making those chittering sounds incessantly, but hasn't moved. This is Deb, Level 6.
Timothy looks to expand his arsenal and searches the nearby area for Kiln Smash's dropped knife. [10=Success] It's right next to him, easy. Timothy picks up the second Switchblade and thinks about doing a
V for Vendetta impression, but the whole knife-twirling thing seems impractical. [6 vs. 2] Timothy thrusts forward and Kiln slides to the left, which makes it very easy for Tim to stab him with his left-handed knife. Kiln goes reeling back, as another hole gets put in his gut.
Kyle Johnson squares off with A. Bell Adams, the two of them circling one another, but then Kyle sees his blood dripping to the ground and realizes he has more immediate issues. He disengages with Adams, keeping one eye on him as he walks over to where Nix lies. Kyle first deprives Nix's Switchblade, folding it up and putting it in his pocket. He then pulls Nix's shirt off, not merely for purposes of humiliation, but also to patch up all that bleeding around his waist. [Medical: 5] Tying it around himself, Kyle is able to get the bleeding to slow which gives him more time, but there's not enough fabric to seal up both wounds completely.
Nix blinks and his senses begin to come back to him; he's got a bit of a headache and his face is sore, but he's still alive. Also, his bare back is cold against the tiled floor. Where was his shirt. He looks down, and sees Kyle trying to yank off his pants. Before Kyle can explain that this is all a misunderstanding, Nix scrambles away, screaming, believing that his attacker was taking this simulation in a very bad direction.
Adams, who has seen the whole thing unfold, watches with amusement.
Having found the prized Chicken, Leroy Jenkins knows there is one thing to do. "Alright, let's do this." Everyone in Publix hears his titular battle cry as Jenkins charges shoulder first into the glass display, shattering it completely and somehow not cutting himself off in the process. Jenkins grabs all the chicken around him indiscriminately, funneling it into his mouth and chewing through even the bones, much like the metal grinding machines in those videos where they grind up things. In the space of a couple minutes, Jenkins obliterates the entire display of ready-to-eat chicken in the Deli, which you must remember was supposed to be sold to hundreds of shoppers over the course of an entire day.
Lalli wants an ax as badly as Saudi Arabia wants American armaments, and killing someone would be worth an ax, right? Lalli stalks Adams to the Deli and sees that his target is occupied in watching a whole other fight. Stealth is for punks, as is said in the Lalli-Code, as so he charges at Adams screaming incoherently, waving his Baton over his head like a Frankish barbarian with a spiked club. [9 vs. 8] There's no time to dodge, so Lalli can only put his hand up to block the incoming smashes, which lands directly on the blade of his Switchblade; the folding knife flies out of Lalli's hand and slides along the ground. Lalli follows up with another overhand attack, [7 vs. 10] but Adams ducks under his arm and slips behind him, a well executed boxing-type dodge.
Kiln Smash is ready to snap Timothy's neck, except it didn't take Tim any time at all to get two knives, and now Tim was leering over him, and Kiln was bleeding out worse than ever. There's only one course of action; Kiln books it like he was trying out for the Olympic 100 Meter Dash. [4 vs. 7] Unfortunately for Kiln, Tim actually ran Track in high school. Tim catches up to Kiln and hits him with a shoulder charge, sending him crashing to the hard tile floor. Kiln tries to get up, but Tim reaches down with his free hand, yanking Kiln by the hair and holding his head in place. Kiln's mind races to say something, some sort of plea for life or a deal, or at least some cool line to be remembered by. Just when he has the right thing to say, Tim's Switchblade stabs into the side of the neck and carves through to the other side in the way that one butchers a hog. Tim leaves Kiln face down in a pool of blood, and picks up the other knife.
Timothy has Slain Kiln Smash. He upgrades to Level 1.Yottawhat pops into existence at the entrance of Wal-Mart.
Jack Black walks over to Kiln's body, picks it up and then tosses it in his mobile garbage bin with the rest of the trash. He begins to whistle a tune while mopping up all of Kiln's blood.
Name: Jack Black the Janitor
Level: 3
Status: Normal
Inventory: Mop, First Aid Kit
Abilities:
? - Level 1
? - Level 2
Name: Frankie Dovens
Level: 4
Status: Normal
Inventory: Golf Club, Golf Balls
Abilities:
? - Level 3
? - Level 1
Name: Deb
Level: 6
Status: Normal
Inventory:
Abilities:
? - Level 3
? - Level 3
Name: Lalli (AoshimaMichio)
Level: 0
Status: Normal
Inventory: Folding Baton.
Abilities:
Name: Kyle Johnson (kj1225)
Level: 0
Status: Gut Bleeding x2 (Partially Bandaged) (Bleed-Out: 5)
Inventory: Can o' Mace (100%), Switchblade
Abilities:
Name: A. Bell Adams (Sl4cker)
Level: 0
Status: Normal
Inventory: Large Slip Leash
Abilities:
Name: Timothy (FallacyofUrist)
Level: 1
Status: Left Rear Ankle Bruised
Inventory: 2 Switchblades
Abilities:
Name: Nix (NRDL)
Level: 0
Status: Shirtless, Broken Nose, Right Cheek Bruised, Skull/Upper Back Bruised
Inventory:
Abilities:
Name: Cal Ericson (Strider03)
Level:0
Status: Normal
Inventory: Switchblade, Painkillers (8/8), Pocket Lighter (100%), Bottle of Isopropyl Alcohol, Survival Backpack
Abilities:
Name: Leeeeeeeeroy Jenkins!!!!! (TheBiggerFish)
Level: 0
Status: Normal
Inventory: Folding Baton
Abilities:
Name: Wily Wilson (Yottawhat)
Level: 0
Status Normal
Inventory: Pepper Spray
Abilities:
I was busy with all sorts of shit today, so I almost let this slide again, but three days is my limit. No amount of delays should mean a four day break without a good reason. And so, we have a turn, with our very first kill. Congrats Fallacy.
I'll be adding the new folks to the Waitlist.
discord wen
Unless y'all want to hear me rant about Psychoanalytic theory and the Atlanta Falcons all day, I don't think a Discord is in order, especially with all the good Bay12 Discord channels already up.
Author
Topic: An Exercise in Asinine Violence [Announcement/Conclusion] (Read 6413 times)