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[Strider03]

Grab painkillers and a bottle of isopropyl alcohol. Then go to one of the checkout aisles and see if they have lighters.

[FallacyofUrist]

Slice him in the arm! The one holding his knife.

[TCM]

I'm waiting until tomorrow afternoon to post the next turn, both to allow everyone a little extra time, and to shift the update cycle to an afternoon basis. The quality of the game should be consistently better and more stable if I'm posting in the middle of the day as opposed to rushing out a turn right before bedtime.

Expect turn 3 sometime between 11 A.M. and 3 P.M EST time tomorrow.

[Greatness942]

Wha-hey! This is back, with a new name? As if I could pass this up.

Spoiler: The Blade Runner No One Remembers (click to show/hide)

Name: Ray McCoy
Level: 0

Status: Fine
Inventory: Pepper Spray
Abilities: (Blank to start with)

[TCM]

Turn III: The World Expands

Kyle Johnson now has the deli counter separating him from Nix, to whom he owes the enlarging red spot on his shirt for. Nix sees Kyle stand firmly, and then quickly huddle beneath the counter, cowering. What's up with him? [Stealth: 5 VS. 2] Nix cautiously steps closer, wondering if this was an attempt at surrender. He peeks over the edge of the deli counter, and sees nothing on the other side. Then Kyle charges out from behind a table, [10 vs. 8] smashing the bottom of his Mace Can into Nix's face at full force and speed. The cartilage in Nix's nose cracks apart and he falls on his back, letting go of his Switchblade.

A. Bell Adams browses the aisle and finally settles on a can of household "Fast-Action Deadly Roach Killer!" Because if it can fell a roach, the spray should be able to incapacitate a person. Adams looks at the can and then considers, is this really enough? If I were being controlled by a higher entity who knew all of my thoughts and feelings, would this hypothetical being be seen as creative? After much contemplation, Adams concludes that it's good enough considering all things, and that a grocery turned battle royale was no place to be thinkin' 'bout divine actualization. He heads off to the next aisle, which is all about the pets. You got your bags of pet food, pet toys, pet medicine, leashes, and so on.

Timothy continues the fight with Kiln Smash that has been one sided so far. [3 vs. 3] Timothy swipes at his arm, but Kiln grabs his wrist and holds it in place while thrusting forward with his own blade! Timothy wraps his hand around Kiln's weapon-hand in response, and the two of them get locked in a wrestling match, evenly skilled and strong. There is shifting of the feet and grunting, but neither man gives way. While it looks like a stalemate, Kiln's the one that has to worry, as with each second more and more blood escaping from his neck. Finally, Kiln shoves Timothy back a few feet, and both regain their footing.

Cal Ericson picks up a pack of generic Painkillers and reads the label; 16 tablets and the dosage for an adult is 2, so the whole thing has 8 pops of pain relief total. Stuffing that in his pocket, he heads on back towards the front of the store and spots Kiln and Tim still trying to murder each other. Giving himself some room between them, both for his own safety and allowing them each some privacy, he checks the checkout aisles. Gossip magazines, candy, sodas, and yes, lighters! Nothing fancy, just those cheap 99 cent pieces you buy after you buy weed and then realize you have nothing to smoke it with. Ericson pockets one of the aptly named Pocket Lighters.

Kiln Smash, The Wounded One, takes some steps forward, his knife outstretched, against Timothy who is in a similar stance. It's like one of the dueling from the early days of America, if you replaced rapiers with switchblades, there were no seconds, and instead of facing off on the side of a river or a forest clearing, you did it in a commercial building where you could buy diapers and Cheetos in the same visit. Kiln feints successful and provokes a strike from Tim. [4 vs. 6] Kiln ducks under the swinging blade and lunges for Tim, and Tim steps to the side while Kiln's blade stabs into the space where his chest was a moment ago. When Tim attacks again, Kiln goes on the defensive, [1 vs. 3] and goes for a parry. At least, what should have been a parry, but Kiln understands the force of Tim's attack, and all it does is send Kiln stumbling back by a step as his arm recovers from blocking a mighty slash. The tiling under Kiln's neck turns further red.

Lalli, who is definitely male, starts to run up and down the aisles, looking for the one where hunting-related equipment is, as that is where the axes would surely be. There are Hamburgers, Hotdogs and Horticulture, but a lack of Hunting goods. What sort of supermarket doesn't have Hunting stuff, or basically anything that isn't food or the type of stuff you'd find at a drug store? It was beginning to dawn on him that this place was more in the vein of Winn Dixie or Food Lion rather than Wal-Mart or Target. What a disappointment, if only some convenient Dues Ex Machina event could amend this and bring him closer to his beloved hatchet...

Nix clears his blurry eyes and gets to his feet as Kyle jumps over the counter, now clearly on the offensive. Nix scans the floor and sees his trusty Switchblade right between himself and Kyle, who sees this as well. [Agility: 7 vs. 4] Both race for the knife, but Nix gets the first step and he's the one that snatches the blade right off the floor. Kyle tries to stop mid-sprint, as now Nix is simply holding his knife out in front of him, waiting for Kyle to run and impale himself on the blade. [6 vs. 2] Kyle skids on his feet, and Nix lunges forward poking Kyle on the other side of his stomach. Kyle rears back, sporting twin wounds, and looking in no better shape.


While Kiln and Tim continue to go at it with Cal watching from a corner of his eye, a new figure enters seemingly ex nihilo. He's a lanky, middle aged guy with patchy blonde hair, tired eyes and dusty skin telling of a lifetime of labor. He wears a blue janitor's uniform with the nametag "Jack" and a matching blue hat. He carries a wet mop, which he uses to begin cleaning some of the miscellaneous blood on the floor. "You kids got no respect for an old guy like me 'huh?" He talks with his head down, speaking to no one in particular as he swabs his mop. "Fightin' and more fightin', that's all you kids care about, makin' a mess out of it too. No respect, I'll tell you that much. No respect for ole' Jack Black." He spits on the ground and then mops that up too before silently proceeding with his task.

The booming omnipresent voice returns. "This is Jack Black, our first implemented NPC. You can tell that one of our staff members is a big Tenacious D fan. Anyways, you're going to see more of them as you travel around. Interact with them however you want,
 they all have unique abilities and personalities just like real people. Try not to argue with them about them being lines of digital code that will cease to exist once the simulation turns off, that tends to make them act badly and makes the system go wonky."

"Also, we've had enough time to load in more of the world, so we've developed a whole detailed strip mall around the place. We put in familiar places like Wal-Mart and Dicks, and a few new ones too. You'll run into some NPCs out there too. So basically, keep doing what you're doing. Have fun!" "

Spoiler: NPCs (click to show/hide)

Name: Jack Black the Janitor
Level: 3

Status: Normal
Inventory: Mop
Abilities:
? - Level 1
? - Level 2

Spoiler: Player Info (click to show/hide)

Name: Lalli (AoshimaMichio)
Level: 0

Status: Normal
Inventory: Folding Baton.
Abilities:
Name: Kyle Johnson (kj1225)
Level: 0

Status: Gut Bleeding x2 (Bleed-Out: 3)
Inventory: Can o' Mace (100%)
Abilities:
Name: A. Bell Adams (Sl4cker)
Level: 0

Status: Normal
Inventory: Switchblade
Abilities:
Name: Timothy (FallacyofUrist)
Level: 0

Status: Normal
Inventory: Switchblade
Abilities:
Name:Kiln Smash (OceanSoul)
Level: 0

Status: Sliced Neck (Bleed-Out: 3)
Inventory: Switchblade
Abilities:
Name: Nix (NRDL)
Level: 0

Status: Broken Nose
Inventory: Switchblade
Abilities:
Name: Cal Ericson (Strider03)
Level:0

Status: Normal
Inventory: Switchblade, Painkillers (8/8), Pocket Lighter (100%)
Abilities:
Name: Leeeeeeeeroy Jenkins!!!!! (TheBiggerFish)
Level: 0

Status: Normal
Inventory: Folding Baton
Abilities:

The NPCs have made their first appearance of many.

NPCs behave similarly to the Players, each having a unique name, inventory, and set of Abilities. NPCs do not have the goal of fighting everyone they see in an attempt to gain Levels, as they do not gain Levels for killing Players or each other. They do have varying personalities, so some might attempt to befriend players, others will tend to themselves, and others will try and stab the Players in the face whether it's for insanity or sport. The Level and Inventory of an NPC is always available, and Kill Absorption rules apply to them. The abilities of NPCs remain hidden until they are activate,d but the Level of their various abilities, as well as their total number of abilities, is always available.


If you could mention the name of your character somewhere in your posts, that would be greatly appreciated, since I'm still trying to remember who is who, which is especially important when multiple fights are going on. Thank you.

Players will now spawn randomly in one of the stores in the strip mall. Happy hunting!

[NRDL]

Nix keeps STABBING Kyle Johnson.

[kj1225]

Knock Nix out. Little fucker is lunch meat.
     <3 Kyle Johnson

[FallacyofUrist]

Timothy takes advantage of Kiln's stumbling and shanks him.

[AoshimaMichio]

Bah, back to murder then. Someone who's alone in aisles with me.

[Sl4cker]

Wield a slip-leash as a lasso, assuming they have one of those. Go out and find some people to rope

[Strider03]

Cal searches for a specific location in the store. Preferably a camping section if there is one (though, based on the description, that sounds unlikely), or an outdoors section that might have barbecue grills. If he cannot find these, exit the store and head to Walmart.

[TheBiggerFish]

Leeroy Jenkins decides to get some chicken.

[OceanSoul]

"Well, to be honest, I'm just looking to survive right now. Got any bandages? Even a clean T-shirt to wrap this up with."
Sweep him down with a low roundhouse kick, then go for a lethal blow!

[TCM]

Turn IV: Reversals in Fortune

Kyle Johnson moves on Nix, still attempting to knock him out with his Can before he bleeds out. [9 vs. 6] Nix weaves his head away from the first swing but then Kyle grabs him by the shirt to hold him in place and swings again, hooking the Can straight into the right side of Nix's face. Nix staggers to the side, managing to retain a grip on his knife, but is clearly dazed by the attack. With distorted vision, his free arm swipes at a shelf for balance as he grabs on, knocking several cans of Campbell soup onto the ground, sending them rolling down the isle. Nix breathes heavily and looks at the floor; he's not in as bad of a shape as Kyle, but these beatings are obviously working on him.

Kiln speaks to Jack Black, "Well, to be honest, I'm just looking to survive right now. Got any bandages? Even a clean T-shirt to wrap this up with."
The janitor looks from his mopping, "All your time finding and now you want some help? Kids these days." Jack sighs and stands up straight, walking over to one of the counters where he kneels down and begins sorting the items underneath. "There should be a first-aid kit somewhere around here, store policy to keep them underneath the counters..."
While the janitor checks for medical supplies, Kiln rushes at Timothy, gets down low and lets loose a spinning roundhouse kick. [6 vs. 5] Kiln's foot smashes into Tim's rear ankle, and while it leaves a bruise, Tim doesn't move beyond a momentary buckling. Kiln doesn't slow down, and from his low position, he rises and simultaneously jabs his Switchblade upwards at Tim, [1 vs. 10] and in the most fuck-up manner possible, loses his grasp on the Switchblade, which goes flying off into the distance. At the same time, Kiln loses his balance and lands on his back, looking up at Tim from the ground in a very disadvantageous position.

A. Bell Adams picks up one of the Slip Leashes from the shelf of the Pet Care aisle, specifically one of the larger ones since it's going to have to fit around an adult human's neck. Using a Slip Leash as a lasso isn't an obvious usage, but that's what innovation is all about. Adams whips the leash a few times for practice and ties it into a knot at the end, to make sure that it snugly fits around a neck if it's properly thrown. Eager to test out his new invention, Adams goes in search of test subjects, willing or otherwise, to try it out on. Towards the Eastern side of the store, he comes across Kyle Johnson and Nix locked in a brutal struggle.

Nix sees the figure of Kyle Johnson through blurry eyes, and pushes off the shelf with his free hand, lunging at his opponent. [2-2(Dazed) VS. 8] Kyle steps out of the way and Nix stumbles past him knife-first  across the floor and slamming into the side of the Deli, making a guttural noise as his belly smacks the hard counter. Kyle comes up from behind [9 vs. 3] and really starts laying it into Nix with the bottom of his Can of Mace, pounding into Nix's skull and the top of his back. The sluggish Nix is aware of the tremendous beating but is too slow to properly counter it, [Endurance Check: 3 = Fail] and after over a half-dozen hits, flops over the Deli counter and then lays out on the floor, unconscious.

Timothy was originally going to capitalize on Kiln Smash's stumbling, but it turns out that Kiln is no longer stumbling and has instead discarded his weapon and grounded himself, so Timothy takes the new opportunity instead. Tim leers over Kiln like a horror movie antagonist coming over a minor character that was fleeing and then conveniently tripped over a root. [6 vs. 8-2(Grounded)] Tim grips the handle of his knife hard and brings it down like a miner cleaving apart the Earth, but at the last second Kiln rolls out of the way and the blade deflects off the hard surface of the floor. Kiln stands up unscathed and unarmed.

Leeroy Jenkins continues his search for the Holiest of Holy Grail chicken. He walks down the aisles, searching every nook and cranny of the store for chicken. When Leeroy turns the corner, he uncovers a sight so beautiful that his eyes well up in tears; it's the Publix Chicken Display, merely separated by a glass casing in front of the Deli. Chicken in all forms, Roasted, Tenderdized, Nugget-ed, and more all laid out for him, all for his taking. It's overwhelming how much chicken there is, free for the taking, Leeroy finds himself stupefied for a moment. Also, A. Bell Adams has rounded the corner from the opposite side of store, and just a few feet away Kyle is trying to beat Nix to death with a can of mace, but who cares? Chicken!

Cal looks around for a camping section, somewhere that might have a barbecue grill. Realizing that Publix isn't equipped to handle camping equipment, he nearly turns for the door when out of the corner of his eye he spots something. It is, in fact, a camping section. It's surprisingly robust for a place like Publix, as it has bags of firewood, marshmallow ingredients, various bug sprays and medicines and yes, barbecue grills and even those thick bags filled with charcoal underneath. The price-tag says $399.99, an exorbitant price for a run of the mill grill, but cost is merely a number now.

Lalli, still separated from any sort of axes, goes back on the path of immediate murder. He spots Adams in the distance and follows him on a whim. A. Bell Adams stops as he rounds the corner on the Rear Eastern corner of the store, which is the perfect spot for Lalli to attempt to stick his Switchblade between his shoulderblades. [4 vs. 9] Lalli creeps up behind Adams, who is perceptive enough to jump forward and spin around in time to see Lalli hunched over, his blade hovering threateningly. It's a bit awkward. [4 vs. 6] Adams whips the Slip Leash at Lalli, who jukes to the side and watches as the DIY lasso flies past him, and then is immediately retracted. Leash-Lasso technology...Lalli realizes he's up against a truly new kind of enemy.


Jack Black returns from underneath one of the cash registers with a small First Aid Kit in tow. "You got a boo-boo kid? Here, take it." Instead of handing it to Kiln Smash, Jack just stands there holding the kit out, expecting for Kiln to come over and take it. He's obviously not too concerned that Kiln is still fighting Timothy, even though the scrap is happening right in front of him.

Spoiler: NPCs (click to show/hide)

Name: Jack Black the Janitor
Level: 3

Status: Normal
Inventory: Mop, First Aid Kit
Abilities:
? - Level 1
? - Level 2

Spoiler: Player Info (click to show/hide)

Name: Lalli (AoshimaMichio)
Level: 0

Status: Normal
Inventory: Folding Baton.
Abilities:
Name: Kyle Johnson (kj1225)
Level: 0

Status: Gut Bleeding x2 (Bleed-Out: 2)
Inventory: Can o' Mace (100%)
Abilities:
Name: A. Bell Adams (Sl4cker)
Level: 0

Status: Normal
Inventory: Switchblade, Large Slip Leash
Abilities:
Name: Timothy (FallacyofUrist)
Level: 0

Status: Left Rear Ankle Bruised
Inventory: Switchblade
Abilities:
Name:Kiln Smash (OceanSoul)
Level: 0

Status: Sliced Neck (Bleed-Out: 2)
Inventory:
Abilities:
Name: Nix (NRDL)
Level: 0

Status: Broken Nose, Right Cheek Bruised, Skull/Upper Back Bruised (Unconscious: 1)
Inventory: Switchblade
Abilities:
Name: Cal Ericson (Strider03)
Level:0

Status: Normal
Inventory: Switchblade, Painkillers (8/8), Pocket Lighter (100%)
Abilities:
Name: Leeeeeeeeroy Jenkins!!!!! (TheBiggerFish)
Level: 0

Status: Normal
Inventory: Folding Baton
Abilities:

I promise that I will master the art of scheduling one day, 4realz.

I just want to clarify that if you're deciding to attack twice in one turn, please try and make it clear. Either say explicitly, or include two combat actions (ex., "I punch, after that I kick" or "I stab, then grapple", etc.) so I know and make sure to correctly interpret it into the turn. If I'm unsure, I always go with one attack rather than two. I'd rather have someone miss their kill, then attack a second time accidentally, then get countered, and badly injured/killed.

[NRDL]

Wake up faster, if at all possible.

- Forgot to mention, my name is Nix.