Create diplomatic negations with said enemy, by utilizing reverse-psychology, that if they blow us up it will only to a Nuclear Holocaust for everyone. Most people don't want that, unless their entire government is ran by revolutionaries than sure.
[1] YOUR ATTEMPT TO CONTACT LEADERS OF ENEMY NATION RESULTS IN THEM DIVERTING AT LEAST ONE NUKE TO YOUR LOCATION SPECIFICALLY
GREAT
Get on a boat! Boats be safe from nukes!
[2] YOU HAVE NO BOAT
AND GM'S HOUSE PRETTY FAR FROM ANY DECENT-SIZED BODIES OF WATER
...KINDA WEIRD SINCE AREA IS NAMED 'RESERVOIR'
Keep on digging.
[3] YOU KEEP GOING... GETTING KINDA TIRED THOUGH
OR IS DIRT GETTING HARDER? CAN'T TELL, BUT THIS IS HARD WORK, UGH
YOU'RE JUST ON VERGE OF GIVING UP WHEN SOME GUY RUNS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND DIVES INTO YOUR HOLE, CAUSING SOME DIRT TO FALL BACK IN AS HE DOES SO. WHAT A JERK. AT LEAST THIS GIVES YOU EXCUSE TO TAKE BREAK
Status Gained: Tired (physically)!
Status Gained: Feelin' the burn!
Traits Gained: Extremely sweaty, Unpleasantly smelly Start tying fireworks to the GM house for your scape to space plans
[6] YOU PILE AN IMPRESSIVE AMOUNT OF DYNAMITE (READ: A TRUCKLOAD) AROUND GM'S HOUSE
GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT
Item Acquired: Truckload of dynamite(piled around GM's house)! We're at the GM's house? Easy, then; I type a turn for ROLL TO GET NUKED at his computer that undoes the nukes, whether they're all duds or some other such thing.
[3] VS [5] GM BREAKS EMPTY BOTTLE OF BOURBON OVER YOUR HEAD, THEN THROWS YOU OUTSIDE AND CLOSES DOOR
THAT HURT
THERE'S SOME DUDE DIGGING FURIOUSLY IN FRONT YARD, ALSO A FEW RED CYLINDRICAL OBJECTS LYING AROUND NEAR YOU... CANDLES?
Status Gained: Bleeding from head!
Item Acquired: Glass splinters(embedded in head)! Erase the nukes from existence through intense meditation and Solipsism. Failing that I'll probably just eat a block of cheese and wait for death by nuclear explosion.
[5] YOU BEGIN MEDITATING INTENSELY IN BATHTUB WHILST EATING FISTFUL'S OF GM'S HOUSEMATES' HALOUMI CHEESE
IS DELICIOUS
ALTHOUGH ENLIGHTENING
YOU REALLY PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE
Item Acquired: Haloumi cheese!
Item Acquired: Enlightenment! Activate force field surrounding my house.
[6] YOU PRESS BUTTON ON YOUR REMOTE CONTROL, ACTIVATE IMPERVIOUS, NUCLEAR-GRADE FORCE FIELD AROUND YOUR HOUSE
...YOU AT GM'S HOUSE THOUGH
UH
Item Acquired: Home-defence forcefield remote! STOP NUKES WITH MIND. SAVE DAY. BE HAILED AS HERO.
[5] YOU MANAGE TO CONVINCE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET THAT YOU ABOUT TO STOP NUKES WITH MIND POWERS
LIVESTREAM ON YOUTUBE, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND MAKE MYSTICAL "BWEEBWEEBWEE" SOUNDS WHILST ANGRILY RUBBING YOUR TEMPLES
YOU HAVE LOT OF VIEWERS, WOW
THEY DONATING TOO
SOME WASHED-UP CELEBRITY BRIEFLY JUMPS IN FRONT OF CAMERA+MIC AND MUMBLES SOME CREEPY HIPPY SHIT, BUT PEOPLE DON'T SEEM TO MIND TOO MUCH
TRY TO HIJACK GLOBAL BROADCAST AND IF SUCCESSFUL, SAY THIS SENTENCE TO STOP THE NUKES, AND START THE ERA OF LOVE AND PEACE!
Yes, I play as Tommy Wiseau in this RTD, why do you ask?
If nukes will succeed, will this RTD turn into "Roll to survive in the Post-apocalyptic wasteland"?
[4] YOU ARE THAT GUY, YOU HIJACK ATATH'S LIVESTREAM, YOU SAY "IF A LOT OF PEOPLE LOVED EACH OTHER, THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE" IN WEIRD-AS-HELL VOICE TO ATATH'S GROWING BASE OF VIEWERS
MISSION SUCCESS. NOT SURE IF STOPPED NUKES THOUGH
ALSO GM REALLY NEED TO WATCH THAT MOVIE Trait Gained: Tommy Wiseau! AH FUCK
TURN INTO BIGGER NUKE THAN THE NUKES NUKING ME
YOU CAN'T OUTNUKE A BIGGER NUKE
[2] YOU DECIDE THAT YOU NOW SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS A HUGE NUCLEAR MISSILE
GOOD FOR YOU
Become a god
Destroy nukes
[4] YOU BECOME BUDDHA
YOU DON'T REALLY DO SHIT, JUST SIT AROUND ON GM'S COUCH EATING FOOD
START PAYING RENT ALREADY YOU FAT FUCK
USE THE POWER OF MANLINESS TO SCARE THE NUKES INTO SUBMISSION, AND THEN USE THEM TO BLOW UP THE EVIL ALIEN OVERLORDS!
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[2] YOU A BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND DON'T NEED NO MAN!
Trait Gained: Female!
Item Acquired: Lady parts!
Status Entered: Oppressed(Patriarchy)! activate my skyshield emitters to generate a large hard-light barrier deflecting the blast away from my critical research facilities, and then call down a orbital strike on the offending countries!
[4] WAIT, WHY YOU HAVE THIS CRAZY LAB SHIT IN GM'S HOUSE ANYWAY
GM WANTS TO KNOW WHEN YOU GOING TO PAY SOME RENT
GM HASSLING YOU TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO CONCENTRATE ON ACTIVATING YOU SHIELD-STRIKE DOO-DADS AND THINGIMABOBS
Item Acquired: Research Facility(in GM's house)!
Status Gained: Distracted(-1 to actions not involving paying some goddamn rent already)! Flee to my private bunker. Make sure its stocked with enough food to survive.
[2] YOU RUN INTO FRONT YARD AND BELLY-FLOP INTO YOTTAWOT'S SLIGHTLY-LARGER-THAN-GRAVE-SIZED PIT
YOU FIND A SINGLE RAISIN IN YOUR BACK POCKET
GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?
Item Acquired: Raisin x1!
GM WOULD LIKE TO BLAME SHITTY INTERNET FOR SLOWNESS OF UPDATE
ALSO BEEN BUSY BEING AWESOME
TOO BAD