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Poll

Which team did you play in the last game?

Glorious Arstotzka
- 17 (16%)
Glorious Moskurg
- 13 (12.3%)
Ingloriously Didn't Play
- 76 (71.7%)

Total Members Voted: 106


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Author Topic: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale  (Read 599787 times)

BBBence1111

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7470 on: October 04, 2019, 05:26:56 pm »

Good game, well played Forenia!

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Proud Juraki/Cannalan/Kasgyr/Ertexite/Karikhitan/Nogranian/Aratam Engineer.

ConscriptFive

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7471 on: October 04, 2019, 07:43:26 pm »

Wow, helluva a finale and definitely worth the wait.  Congrats to the GM on a successful wrap.

Andres

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7472 on: October 06, 2019, 12:31:35 am »

Damn it I was so close. So close to victory. Just needed to pass one more die roll. That was a great climactic battle between me and Kot though, and I'm glad I at least won that. And the country of Arstotzka is technically back.


Well, good game. Glory to Arstotzka. Forever glory to Arstotzka.
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.

Screech9791

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7473 on: October 06, 2019, 06:46:52 am »

holy fuck op TL;DR please think of the shitposters who only clicked the thread because this was the final update, i have a life to live and i can't easily get all the important details through all that fluff in the final update
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it's over

Powder Miner

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7474 on: October 06, 2019, 06:49:35 am »

most of us were more involved than just finale shitposting and wanted to see the aftermath
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NUKE9.13

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7475 on: October 06, 2019, 07:16:22 am »

holy fuck op TL;DR please think of the shitposters who only clicked the thread because this was the final update, i have a life to live and i can't easily get all the important details through all that fluff in the final update
I mean, you realise this was the final update to a game that featured dozens of active players, lasting several years, between two different forums, and was also the sequel to two games (one on each forum), right? There's no way Sensei could've made an update that was satisfying to the invested players that could also be comprehended by casual viewers.

If you want to read through the entire game to get the context for the final battle, I'd recommend visiting the Spacebattles thread and using Reader Mode, so that you can read the updates without having to slog through all the posts. (https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/intercontinental-arms-race-finale.520537/reader).
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Long Live United Forenia!

Sensei

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7476 on: October 06, 2019, 11:06:38 pm »

holy fuck op TL;DR please think of the shitposters who only clicked the thread because this was the final update, i have a life to live and i can't easily get all the important details through all that fluff in the final update

Well, I always meant to have a short version of events on The Wiki but that's not very thoroughly filled-out, since I got lazy. I guess I would sum it up something like this:

The Forenian War
-Some people fucked tigers
-Some other people demanded identification papers
-They tried to kill each other
-They both went from having garbage weapons to pretty cool weapons
-Especially, the paper nerds made assault rifles in 1934 and they won
-Honorary mention to the tiger fuckers for wearing bulletproof metal armor
-Actually, they decided to make up and be one big happy family
-They made cool airplanes but never boats, this comes up later
-Also somebody went to space but probably died

The Turbados War
-Some people stole ships and drank grog
-Some people ate sushi and acted all stuffy
-They both went from having garbage weapons to pretty cool weapons
-They also both had boats, but especially the pirates
-When the pirates started winning the samurai made poison gas, very dishonorable!
-At some point a few ships started mysteriously disappearing
-Pirates won anyway. They also cheated in a duel with the samurai leader to end the war.
-Turbados is called Cannala now

The Archipelago War
-One of the paper nerds did not want to be friends with the tiger fuckers after all
-He actually stole boats from the pirates, out-pirating them
-Nobody realized this was going on
-He disguised himself as a Forenian and attacked Cannala, then disguised himself as a Cannalan and attacked the Forenians
-Now there is a war between the islands. It is going badly for Forenia because they did not into boats.
-The Cannalans joined the Allies and the Forenians joined the Axis. evictedSaint tried to make them not join the Axis.
-The guy who started the war, still unknown, starts helping the Cannalans win a bit
-So do some dweebs called Vlanlados, but they die fast because they are bad at keeping secrets
-Forenia made VERY COOL sunglasses
-Cannala made guided missiles, and also helicopters but they called them 'pteros
-Forenia made submarines but a little bit on the late side
-Both sides conquer Vlanlados for Uranium
-Cannala ultimately won despite Forenia have COOL sunglasses, which honestly may have been a misjudgement on my part

The Final Battle
-As usual, diplomacy turns into people slapping each other
-This time it's because the Cannalans backed the Ultimate Paper Nerd who started the war (that's Andres) in a coup
-Both Cannala and Forenia build rockets to absolutely F L E X on the United States and USSR, but especially Forenia
-Tigers lol
-Nuclear power sometimes backfires, often causes cancer
-A lot of people die
-Tigers happen
-A huge dweeb falls out of an airplane
-Eventually Cannala wins, and then they betray Andres
-The leading generals from Cannala and Forenia get drunk and hook up
-Now Forenia is split back into tiger fuckers and paper nerds as separate nations
-They're occupied by Russia and Cannala respectively
-The cold war is gonna happen and it's gonna be spicy here in particular

That probably covers the important parts. Maybe.
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Iris

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7477 on: October 06, 2019, 11:10:41 pm »

This is the funniest thing I have seen today.
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evictedSaint

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7478 on: October 06, 2019, 11:13:14 pm »

I appreciate that I was mentioned not once, but twice in that TL;DR.

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7479 on: October 06, 2019, 11:15:59 pm »

Forgot our utter shit luck on absolutely everything five turns straight that 180'd momentum in the Archepalgo war (fucking 10 2's in a row...).
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ConscriptFive

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7480 on: October 06, 2019, 11:29:39 pm »

So wait, Santos and T actually did get sexual?  I guess it really was a love story after all!

evictedSaint

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7481 on: October 06, 2019, 11:32:47 pm »

So wait, Santos and T actually did get sexual?  I guess it really was a love story after all!

Yeah, they have some hot and heavy 40-60 year old sex.

Sensei

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7482 on: October 06, 2019, 11:39:09 pm »

Until theres a story about the paparazzi catching them in bed or something, it's just a slanderous rumor. Dont, uh, actually write that though.
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Let's Play: Automation! Bay 12 Motor Company Buy the 1950 Urist Wagon for just $4500! Safety features optional.
The Bay 12 & Mates Discord Join now! Voice/text chat and play games with other Bay12'ers!
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Taricus

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7483 on: October 07, 2019, 02:51:36 am »

Well fuck Arstotzka for starting that war, fucking cannalan fucking bastards.
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Kot

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Re: Intercontinental Arms Race: Finale
« Reply #7484 on: October 07, 2019, 05:58:11 am »

Well fuck Arstotzka for starting that war, fucking cannalan fucking bastards.
Stinky commie Moskunk, if you didn't start the revolution we wouldn't need Arstotzkan counter-revolutionaries in first place!
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Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill.
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