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Glorious Arstotzka

17 (16%)

Glorious Moskurg

13 (12.3%)

Ingloriously Didn't Play

76 (71.7%)

Total Members Voted: 106

[Taricus]

We need buffers on both. No way around it.

[NAV]

Correct. We also need to deny Cannala the ability to harvest uranium and make nukes. I rate it Uranium > Top lane oil > Middle lane capital in terms of urgency.

[Jilladilla]

Aaaaaaaaaagh the sleep deprivation is getting to me, I meant to pull my vote from the top lane, not from Vlanlados.

Where's Nemonole, I'm making another bid for his title, apparently.

You what now.
No. The title of 'Most Sleep Deprived' is mine. You can't have it.


Also people, do remember both events for us this turn. Both the contest and the 'How do we react to the Holocaust?' one that's specific to us.

[evictedSaint]

Contest Entry:

Interview in Bleeding Gums Pub, August 29th, 1944.
Lance Corporal Nikita Kuznetsov.

- so we're sittings in back of Reckless Effect, buckled in and being rattled like rock in tin can - you know pilot has button that pops all harnesses on plane at once? Well, we fucking did not.  I don't know what happened, maybe pilot slipped, or AAA hits us or whatever, but back door drops out and we all go tumbling out all at once.  I fucking flips over Jibreel - you meet Jibreel, right?  Only paratrooper who drops with Horsekiller.  Horsekiller Mk II, now, since Al-Fahad Home and Safety Firearms got deal with higher-ups.  It is two meter long spear with weight of bear.  Fucking Moskurger.
 
I go flippings over Jibreel and we tumble out back hooked together, ass-to-ass.  We sink like stone.  I flips over and sees Reckless going up in flames.  Fancy missiles perhaps, or flak charge or something, I don't know, wasn't really concerned with plane at moment because I flips over again and fucking trees are rushings up to meet me. 
 
You know, priorities.
 
So I pull chute and Jibreel pulls chute and both our chutes go up and I rack my fucking balls on harness because that dumbass got his leg stuck through one of straps and shifted it.  I'm wheezing and trying not to puke and we're corkscrewing down since chutes are tangled, I thinks.  Didn't get chance to look at it.  I was looking at my crotch and at Raider poking nose through trees.
 
Now, I knew we were dead.  They don't give us weapons to go up against armor.  I've got couple grenades and SMG, but that not doing diddlysquat when floating down with Can Opener pointed at face.  Game over, man.  Game over.  We spin far enough that it disappears out of view and I go, "great, don't have to watch it killings me".  It's little things in life, no?  Little blessings like that.
 
Then BLAM!  We get fucking rocked.  First I thinks it was thirty millimeter, blasting through chest without even feelings it.  That's good thing - not how I wants to go, but there are worse.  Whatever hits us sends us spinnings even faster, so I get a glimpse of the Raider for second before spinnings away and BLAM - spinnings even faster. 
 
That's when I realize Jibreel fucking shouldered his Horsekiller.  BLAM BLAM BLAM - three shots like that, and we're spinnings so fast I can't see.  I puke, yes, whatever.  My balls hurt and we'd been rattled around for past three hours and now we're spinnings.  Big deal.
 
Anyways, we land hard and get buried under parachutes.  I'm still thinkings we're dead, because there's no way Jibreel hit it and there's no way Raider is goings to sit there and let us slapstick out from under sheets, but nothing comes.  So what, they're goings to take us prisoner?  Fine, Il dig my way out like I did last time.  Cannalan POW camps are joke.
 
But no, we crawl out and sure enough, three perfect little holes in Raider.  Driver, gunner, and shotgun.  I look at Jibreel and he says - fucking Moskurger - Jibreel just shrugs at me and goes,
 
"Is good gun."
 
You wants to know why Forenian paratroopers are best of best?  Because of bullshit like that.  Because anyone else would be dead.  Because any other jackass in uniform wouldn't be driving away from LZ in stolen Raider.  Because no one else on God Damn planet can that botch a drop and comes out on top.
 
Now get the fucks out of here, I promised to buy bar a round if we lived and I'm not buyings one for a fucking reporter.

[andrea]

I tried to write something for the contest, but I was utterly uninspired, so take a long word salad instead.

Forenian Tereshokova squadron

The Forenian air force is known as one of the most skilled in the world, for a period reliably pushing victories against superior components. Among the skilled pilots however there is a special squadron, trained by General Tereshkova and bearing her name. Handpicked by the general herself without regard for anything besides skill, aptitude for flight and sheer determination.

Their devotion to the art of flight is without bounds, spending all their waking time either in the airfields tending to their war machines or in the air fighting and training. They know every nut and bolt of the planes they fight, they know their quirks, their needs. Flight comes as natural to them as walking to most other humans, to the point of being referred to as “Wingless Birds” rather than mere humans. But it is not just the extreme and constant training that makes the unit. Inspired by their commander and teacher, who disguised as a man and sacrificed her entire life for Forenian air force, they have an unusual determination when it comes to fights. If you are seeking for a pilot to attempt a suicidal mission (and survive), you are looking for one of the Tereshkova pupils. Looking for some daring feat that only the best would risk? That is them.  Looking for a dutiful pilot that only performs orders as written? Well, look elsewhere.

Being a squadron composed entirely of the best aces, cooperation in the battlefield is sometimes sparse, with each of them trying to show the most complex stunts; In fact, Tereshkova herself rarely flies with them, claiming that there is no way they could keep up when she gives her best (and nobody has taken up the challenge successfully yet). This is compensated by the fact that they are that good. That story about a VVF pilot followed by a missile dropping flares on a Cannalan plane and scoring a kill with the enemy own ammunition? Real. The Haast pilot who flew so low on the surface of the sea to avoid radars that the torpedo on the belly was actually in the water for a good part of the flight? Real. And of course, they were all part of the wingless birds of Tereshkova.

[evictedSaint]

(3) Vlanlados: eS, NAV, Madman
(2) Top Lane: NAV, Taricus
(3) Mid Lane: Taricus, Madman, eS
(0) Bottom Lane:


(0) Denounce Nazi's:
(0) Denounce Allegations:
(0) No Comment:
(0) Join Russians:

I hate all these options.  Wish we'd gone Allies.

[Kot]

(3) Vlanlados: eS, NAV, Madman
(2) Top Lane: NAV, Taricus
(3) Mid Lane: Taricus, Madman, eS
(0) Bottom Lane:


(0) Denounce Nazi's:
(0) Denounce Allegations:
(0) No Comment:
(0) Join Russians:
(1) ARSTOTZKAN REVOLUTION!: Kot

[piratejoe]

(4) Vlanlados: eS, NAV, Madman, Piratejoe
(2) Top Lane: NAV, Taricus
(4) Mid Lane: Taricus, Madman, eS, Piratejoe
(0) Bottom Lane:


(0) Denounce Nazi's:
(0) Denounce Allegations:
(1) No Comment (ALLIANCE OF CONVENIENCE): Piratejoe
(0) Join Russians:
(1) ARSTOTZKAN REVOLUTION!: Kot

[Taricus]

(4) Vlanlados: eS, NAV, Madman, Piratejoe
(2) Top Lane: NAV, Taricus
(4) Mid Lane: Taricus, Madman, eS, Piratejoe
(0) Bottom Lane:


(0) Denounce Nazi's:
(0) Denounce Allegations:
(2) No Comment (ALLIANCE OF CONVENIENCE): Piratejoe, Taricus
(0) Join Russians:
(1) ARSTOTZKAN REVOLUTION!: Kot

[NAV]

(4) Vlanlados: eS, NAV, Madman, Piratejoe
(2) Top Lane: NAV, Taricus
(4) Mid Lane: Taricus, Madman, eS, Piratejoe
(0) Bottom Lane:


(0) Denounce Nazi's:
(0) Denounce Allegations:
(2) No Comment (ALLIANCE OF CONVENIENCE): Piratejoe, Taricus
(1) Join Russians: NAV
(1) ARSTOTZKAN REVOLUTION!: Kot

[Kot]

(4) Vlanlados: eS, NAV, Madman, Piratejoe
(2) Top Lane: NAV, Taricus
(4) Mid Lane: Taricus, Madman, eS, Piratejoe
(0) Bottom Lane:


(1) Denounce Nazi's: Kot
(0) Denounce Allegations:
(2) No Comment (ALLIANCE OF CONVENIENCE NAZI SCUM): Piratejoe, Taricus
(2) Join Russians: NAV, Kot
(1) ARSTOTZKAN REVOLUTION!: Kot

[Cnidaros]

(5) Vlanlados: eS, NAV, Madman, Piratejoe, Cnidaros
(3) Top Lane: NAV, Taricus, Cnidaros
(4) Mid Lane: Taricus, Madman, eS, Piratejoe
(0) Bottom Lane:


(1) Denounce Nazi's: Kot
(0) Denounce Allegations:
(2) No Comment (ALLIANCE OF CONVENIENCE NAZI SCUM): Piratejoe, Taricus
(3) Join Russians: NAV, Kot, Cnidaros
(1) ARSTOTZKAN REVOLUTION!: Kot

Why did you all vote to join the Nazis anyway? I mean, unless Sensei went completely off-the-rails and allowed us to invent ICBMs there's pretty much no amount of tech that we could give them to make them win.

If we join the Russians, at least some of the world won't cheer if/when Cannala nukes us.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

For the latter, I say we do this:

Response Plan Alpha
Announce a desire to send an official team of multiple of the least bribeable investigators to Germany, if the ships they travel upon can be guaranteed not to be attacked by the Allies (Mainly through reining in Canalla.  Remember, we aren't at war with the Allied nations, only Canalla), in order to directly investigate every single site of the camps and report back what they find with inclusion of photographic evidence.  If a guarantee cannot be made, then send out the statement along the lines of 'we denounce this if it is true, but we currently do not have enough information to say if it is or not despite our suspicions.'  Exception to this latter bit: Request the Allies give us copies of all the information they found, and use that in the same way as directly found evidence (ie. break the alliance.)  Ask for it anyway if the investigators can get through.

Unannounced response info: On arrival, if the Germans do not let the investigators go to the locations in the order of the investigators' choosing, the alliance will be immediately broken.  If not heard back once they reach Germany, the alliance is broken.  If it reaches the point past all those where evidence is able to be sent back revealing the Holocaust with word from the investigators as to the truth, the alliance is broken.  If the evidence makes it back, the alliance is broken.

In all cases where the Alliance is broken, join up with the Russians with the gift of the plans for our most modern jets and the Piracy Warning to increase odds of an alliance, and to get ore through them as fast as possible.

-------------

Yeah, it's pretty much 'join the Russians', but we can pick up proof that can be later used to stop Holocaust deniers.

(5) Vlanlados: eS, NAV, Madman, Piratejoe, Cnidaros
(3) Top Lane: NAV, Taricus, Cnidaros
(4) Mid Lane: Taricus, Madman, eS, Piratejoe
(0) Bottom Lane:


(1) Denounce Nazi's: Kot
(0) Denounce Allegations:
(2) No Comment (ALLIANCE OF CONVENIENCE NAZI SCUM): Piratejoe, Taricus
(3) Join Russians: NAV, Kot, Cnidaros
(1) ARSTOTZKAN REVOLUTION!: Kot
(1) Response Plan Alpha: Zanzetkuken

[Sensei]

I am locking in the votes for which lanes to attack, but you will have a little more time to decide how to address the other issues.

[evictedSaint]

(5) Vlanlados: eS, NAV, Madman, Piratejoe, Cnidaros
(3) Top Lane: NAV, Taricus, Cnidaros
(4) Mid Lane: Taricus, Madman, eS, Piratejoe
(0) Bottom Lane:


(2) Denounce Nazi's: Kot, eS
(0) Denounce Allegations:
(2) No Comment (ALLIANCE OF CONVENIENCE NAZI SCUM): Piratejoe, Taricus
(4) Join Russians: NAV, Kot, Cnidaros, eS
(1) ARSTOTZKAN REVOLUTION!: Kot
(1) Response Plan Alpha: Zanzetkuken

I hate every option.