When speculating about who will win a war, it is useful to compare the rank and file side by side. While most of the war consists in how you treat your enemies, killing them dead, for example, a quick look at physical unit of the army, the individual fighter, offers distinct insight about the doctrines that govern each army.
Let´s start with a typical Cannalan “fighter”. To further appreciate the appeal of this particular species, we must observe it in its natural habitat. A puddle of vomit in a shabby bar. Having just puked the last month´s pay in the floor, the Cannalan soldier offers quite a disgraceful view. Wearing shorts, T-shirt and flip-flops, its rusty M1913 nowhere to be seen, pawned off in exchange for more watered down rum. However, it would be untrue to judge the Cannalan army as totally hopeless. A careful medical examination of POWs shows that the average Cannalan soldier is a vector for no less than four different diseases, two of them, on average, of venereal nature. While there was speculation of a “ultimate warrior breeding program” taking place, further investigations have confirmed that the sanitary corps of the Cannalan army treat soap as an option, asking for more rum-based disinfectant from the supply line, most of which disappears down their throats.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, we have the typical Forenian soldier. Unlike the scurvy laden conscripts that we reviewed earlier, this time we are in front of a hardened veteran. Disciplined, resourceful but, most important of all, confident. Not the kind of blind and hopeless faith that those pirate rats get from a bottle, but the firm belief that when he fights, he is backed by the might of his homeland, from the coldest tundra of Arstotska to the hottest desert of Moskurg. And it shows in his equipment. He is dressed to kill, with boots from the best leather, uniforms sewn with the latest nylon technology, with detachable armor plates and a thousand other quirks that make his life easier and his opponents´, short. In his hands, he holds the mighty AS13, considered by some* the most advanced rifle in this war, a piece of technology so sublime it may as well a piece of art and the gun of choice of Germany during the occupation of Czechoslovakia. It is said that the poorly trained forces of our enemies flee in terror from their sunglasses-covered eyes. They are, in every sense conceivable, dressed to kill.
In conclusion, the result of the Forenian-Cannalan theater has been decided from the start. Our nation wins in every category, whether it being technology, discipline or style. It would be wise, no matter ideological allegiance, to plan in accord of this development. The Forenian Engineering Board is always ready to cooperate with any friendly nation to further develop our technology and bring forth a brand-new, Cannalan-free world.
Okay, first post. Are we going to later roll the tank?