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Glorious Arstotzka

17 (16%)

Glorious Moskurg

13 (12.3%)

Ingloriously Didn't Play

76 (71.7%)

Total Members Voted: 106

[Kot]

I don't know how to steal it, but I know we have to use Deathball in the process.

[andrea]

an hollowed out deathball ( which floats) used to sneak in a spy?

[10ebbor10]

Just skip the deathball all over the water.

[Taricus]

Well, we can add that in the movie version once the war is done

[NUKE9.13]

We use entirely different radios. Codebooks won't work.

Ahem:

use stolen Cannalan radio equipment

[Taricus]

Probably wouldn't work regardless for the same reason we couldn't give false orders over radio.

[NUKE9.13]

...that's why we steal the codebooks, so we know how they give orders and can mimic them. We steal both the radio, and the codebooks.

I mean, yeah, it's not the best plan in the world. But the lack of radio equipment/inability to give false orders is not the problem with it.

[RAM]

We send up a flight of tethered rockets to our elite team of low-altitude Ice Giants. They simultaneously catch their tethers and hoist the cargo into the air, on a course for Can. Carrying extra fuel in place of normal cargo, they barley make the distance. But they knew that it was a one-way trip. After their part is over they ditch into Can grain-fields and parachute into an abandoned tavern that had been sabotaged in advance by The Juraki rebel's Elite Emo Element who used up all the seats and rarely bought anything while causing other patrons to become uncomfortable about their preference for music that anyone else likes. The tavern went on to become a great success, known for its superior rum and the large potato fields...

As the planes fly in, too low for Can radar, they get the ball rolling. It lands in the water and bounces, and bounces again, and bounces through a docked Victoria. They stop for a moment to take pictures of the interior of the bisected vessel before continuing their flight onto the shore. Rolling inland they come to a stop atop the Can Design Bureau, crushing everyone who wasn't off getting drunk at the time, set the Death Ball to self-destruct, grab the old Victoria plans, and make their getaway on rocketcycles. Hurling small arms to the underprivileged children starving in the street from large bags held over their shoulders as they go. The Foreignian team then disembarks, grabs the last of their supplies, uses rockets to quickly inflate decoy riders, and then sends the rocket cycles to the docks and the waiting enemy. Those rockets will die and be remembered as heroes!

Each removing a leg, arm, and eye, to be replaced with a wooden stump, metal hook, and eyepatch respectively, and acquiring parrots and tricorn hats from a local vending machine, they apply to the Can navy, where their excellent physical condition immediately sends them to a Victoria crew. After a month at sea, they replace the rum rations with arak, and promptly discard the incapacitated crew, and deploy their tethered rockets. The second elite team of low-altitude Ice Giants, well, several teams actually, then fly over, lift the newly dubbed "Intellectual Piracy" into the air, and fly it safely back to a friendly airfield. The ship's Rum content is quickly disposed of in a mass grave, and all who witness the event are sworn to secrecy, lest it ever be known that rum were permitted into the country.

Hrmmm, needs more turbines...

[evictedSaint]

OFFICIAL:  The Put A Rocket On It! Party would like to announce that they are willing to fund this espionage attempt, so long as it involves irresponsible use of rockets and rocket-related devices.

[Taricus]

The dragons politely decline the funding; as part of the military it's the military's responsibility to provide gear and equipment and allowing partisan funding into such affairs would undermine public trust in the military.

[evictedSaint]

The PAROI Party politely declines your polite declination.  The members of the design team who are both overseeing this espionage attempt and are also members of the PAROI party go ahead and put a bunch of rockets in the plan, anyways.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Why not just steal the a detailed set of plans from a Shipyard producing Victorias?  Maybe plant what looks to be them rolled up, but is actually a message taunting Canalla, in order to both delay them finding out the plans have been stolen, and insult them while we are at it?

Edit: And to involve rockets, have fireworks be launched in a different shipyard so they focus on that one at first?

[Taricus]

@eS: I'm pretty sure the design team doesn't have any input on what gets used by the commandos. And again, political interference into military matters is the sort of thing that leads to the military getting sick of civilian government and telling it to fuck off. Which may lead to fascism.

[evictedSaint]

It's actually an insult rolled around a cleverly-concealed rocket; unrolling the paper causes the rocket to go off and careen around the room, hopefully striking someone or something important.

@Taricus
We are the design team.  If we had no input, then there's no point in saying what the plan is.  What do you have against rockets?

[Taricus]

Not rockets, but political interference beyond just giving the orders which includes donations of rockets and the like.