Sorry it seems to be taking so long, everyone. This is honestly the slowest fort I've ever played; I didn't even know the FPS counter could
show "0 (0)". I'd still like to finish out the year if nobody minds, though.
Also, Nopal:
DFWiki says that "Glazedfleshy" is the translation of "Fikodar", so it's the same name, just displayed in English instead of Dwarven.
Excerpts from A Million Little Pichus: A Memoir, by Maximum Spin Spatteredgorges
As summer began, a ray of sunlight appeared. Not in the literal sense, although the surface was sunny as ever. No, rather, Stungin, the fortress mascot, arrived once again for his yearly blessing.
Needless to say, I ordered him killed on the spot.
Of course, I didn't really do anything of the sort at all. It was just a clever marketing ploy I developed to help build my brand. To this day, I'm not sure what a brand is, but I hope I've done well building it. In the meantime, Stungin performed his usual benediction and ran off, although, this time, not crying. I wondered if the crying was good or bad, and whether I should try harder to make him cry next time, but I never found a satisfying answer to this question. I even offered him a gift, but he didn't seem to notice, so I left it out in the field in the hope that he would pick it up the next year.
After Stungin left, I turned my attention back to the second Kite Fiend, which continued to attempt to tear apart an intangible ball of gas, to little success. The thing had accumulated an enormous number of scars during its stay in Pocketball, but seemed to lack any intention to leave any time soon.
It was becoming increasingly clear that disposing of the escaped demons was to become the centerpiece of my reign. Although the Kite Fiend remained the top priority, I began contemplating a plan that could make a sizeable dent in the population still trapped in the closed-off stairway, particularly taking out, I hoped, the most dangerous, fire-breathing demons.
But on the surface, a different sort of fire-breathing took our attention, as the caravan from the Nation of Harvesting arrived and somehow managed to set afire one of the small unburned patches of the surrounding fields.
Pocketball's crack investigative team quickly went to work and discovered the likely culprit, but, once identified, it was no less horrifying and inexplicable.
A strange oily slick with a nauseous odor was found floating on the surface of the brook near where the fire started. It was still hot enough that the water underneath gave off a veil of steam, and we determined that, before it reached the water, it must have been more than sufficient to spark a grassfire. I personally sent for the scholar RedMageCole, the closest thing Pocketball has to an expert, to determine its composition, and his report was chilling.
We were looking at the meagre remains of a molten Charmeleon. Nobody could say quite what had happened, or why, but it was clear that, somehow, a captive Charmeleon brought by the merchants had discovered an innovative, gruesome new form of Selfdestruct. It seemed that we had only been lucky that it did not wait to pass our walls before testing the move.
Before long, Paddywagon Man concluded trade with the humans. He said it was very successful and that we acquired valuable raw materials and pokémon, as well as some exotic musical instruments he wants to use to start his own nightclub. He also said that he learned a great deal about the art and science of passing off ratty hand-me-downs as valuable trade goods, but I figured he was just putting me on in revenge for the whole Stungin thing. He really liked Stungin and believed me for a while when I said I was going to have him killed.
As Malachite rolled in, a small group of immigrants arrived from the west, bringing us to a total of ninety-four non-pokémon heads. This wouldn't normally be notable, except that I was utterly flabbergasted to find FirePhoenix11 among their number! I gaped at him for a while and tried to stammer out a question to the effect of how he managed to be there when he was last seen being torn apart by a shade monster, but he just gave me a smug look and went back to his studies. It seemed that, wherever he had been, he had found a familiar-looking assistant to help document his research.
Somewhat begrudgingly, I also approved the assistant's request for a breeding pair of Ampharos.
The Shade Monster that killed, or seemed to kill, the Pokémon Professor near the end of spring had been harmlessly battering a Magnezone in a back stairway for more than a month, so I didn't consider it a primary concern. That was before DrewLegend, formerly captain of the Rings of Rowlet, went missing shortly after having been seen charging into the same stairway. It was obvious what had happened, even though we couldn't get to the body to confirm his death. Unsure at first how to proceed, I decided to risk sending some of the more expendable military squads to hopefully remove the problem.
While the army continued to waste time, the Shade Monster tore apart an Ampharos (not one owned by anyone important, but still a tragedy), a Delphox, and a Mamoswine before returning to its favoured Magnezone punching bag. On the surface, a human bard was killed by a Reuniclus. Irritated at all the death occurring on my watch, I located the last remaining dwarf of the Rings of Rowlet and informed him that he was now DrewLegend. He did not protest. He and Paddywagon Man were then ordered behind newly-carved fortifications to engage the Kite Fiend. Before they could leave, FirePhoenix11 called me over to let me know that he had learned "a few facts about munchlax training"; no sooner had I finished politely pretending to care than I heard the word that the Shade Monster had finally been taken down with no further losses. It was hard to tell, but I thought the Professor looked grimly satisfied.
Now that the Shade Monster was no longer alive to exhaust itself bashing an inert pile of metal, several citizens had taken it upon themselves to continue the task in an initiative I decided to refer to as No Magnezone Left Behind. Far below, a gremlin appeared in the caverns, then ran off. I was mildly disappointed, since I had no idea what any of Pocketball's levers actually did, and the gremlin could have proven instructive. In any case, ranged fire was still ineffective against the Kite Fiend, so, given the success of this tactic against the Shade Monster, I decided to order a direct engagement. The way was opened just as Autumn began to unfold.