Pokemon AdditionsGave Glass Excadrill, Lampent, Solrock and Bronzong.
Gave Shidoni Litten.
Autumn, Limestone 1Time to put the plan into action this season, if these dwarves would make the traps...
As I get ready... a hammerdwarf-in-training named Imic comes up to me introducing himself. I tell him to go back to training.
Speaking of military, why is some nobody captain of the guard? This calls for drastic measures.
That's better. Wear your new outfit with pride, Nopal.
Autumn, Limestone 2You.We all know Stungin; bastard keeps coming to our fort expecting to steal something, but he always gets caught. But I'm not letting him escape this time!
THIS ENDS NOW, YOU BITCH!...Of course, Stungin escaped. Damn him; we'll have him one of these days!
Autumn, Limestone 3My heart leapt in excitement! We can become the Capital!
...Or not. Damn it; I'll have to offer them a crapton of stuff when they come next and hope they draft up the requirements immediately, or else my hopes of nobility will be shattered.
...You guys, he's long gone now. You can go back to work.
Autumn, Limestone 14Yes! The best caravan!
Autumn, Limestone 17C-...Could it be?
...You could at least tell me what you meant by that. I want to be a count.
I put in requests for Pokemon and lots of them.
And here's what they want, for the next ruler;
...
What the fuck!? You can't just say "durr hurr we're gonna make you empowered" and then just walk the hell away! What did you mean, 'empowered'!? You guys suck so much ass
Anyways, let's see what they have to trade...
...
This... was literally it.
...
What?Minus the steel bars, this is crap! What am I supposed to do with any of this!?
Before I get more annoyed, I just give them offers to get us to a higher status. Hopefully.
Boom.
Autumn, Sandstone 7Welcome aboard, slave labor! You're early to the plan!
They bring a mason, armorer, engraver, Servine (owned by the engraver), brewer, cheesemaker, carpenter, dyer, Grimer (owned by the dyer), Loudred (also owned by the dyer), and a animal trainer.
Autumn, Sandstone 10Lately, Nopal has been disappointed in my antics; I have been going in more of a to-do fashion rather than actually showing my feelings on subjects. I wish I could, but since I'm still waiting, I have decided to try and appease Nopal with a kickass room. The previous, lesser Captain was less than pleased to hear that while he had never gotten a room, Nopal got a room almost instantly, but who cares?
Also, a wild Herdier tried to maul a child, but was quickly stopped by Beirus's Excadrill and ran off with its tail between its legs. Nice.
Autumn, Sandstone 11Come
on! Can't we just have a Pokemon boss or something? Why do we keep getting freaking werewolf abominations?
Before going in to kill the werebison, Paddywagon does a warmup by instantly murdering the Herdier that was begging for its life. She takes no prisoners.
...Hm. Not really a pretty sight, but I'm instead left wondering if that counts as a were-bite.
Okay, that definitely counts. But jesus christ,
ow.Then my Chandelure and a Pignite come in, fire off twin Flamethrowers and a Psybeam, and it's all over.
...H-Hey, um... Paddywagon? You doing okay?
...Paddywagon?
...O-...Oh my god...
YOU
MANIACS!!! YOU BLEW IT UP!! DAMN YOU!!
DAMN YOU ALL TO HFS!!!And did I mention? The werebison
still isn't dead! What does it take for you to die, damn it?!
Autumn, Sandstone 12Finally dead, but... at what cost? We lost Paddywagon and one of her Crobats... don't really give a shit about the children, they're useless fucks, but... god damn.
Later, some dwarf came into my office, screaming at me as to why people thought she was dead. I noticed this was Paddywagon Man. I was so overjoyed to see her still alive, I nearly cried...! Though then I remembered my Venusaur and was still not amused. She was angry that people mourned the death of the baroness, yet she was still alive. I merely nodded my head a few times, watching the dwarven traders leave without saying a damn thing about our so-called 'empowering'. I couldn't promise her becoming the new baroness once another ruler took over, especially since I doubted they'd let me become royalty, but I did promise to give her the Crobat back. But I was keeping my Venusaur.
Also, she had a Serperior all of the sudden. Strange.
And apparently, Chandelures can indeed melt when in their own fire. Sigh.
This is stressful. I need a nap. With my three babies, of course.
Autumn, Sandstone 17Devastation and destruction plagued the lands...
But at least we were a duchy, right? Right?
...Not that we had a count to actually prove it, so...
Sigh.
Autumn, Timber 5After long periods of waiting (in reality I actually had to AFK and accidentally left the game running until it paused), the plan is completed!...well, I wanted another weapon trap, but I was sick of waiting, so...
Step 1: Get the squads underground behind the Galvantula in case of emergency.
Step 2: Get the people underground before the squads for quick hauling and quick wall building.
We're not safe until they're dead!
They'll come stalking us at night!Set to sacrifice our children to their monstrous appetites!
They'll wreck havoc on our fortress if we let them wander free!
So it's time to take some action, dwarves! IT'S TIIIIME TOOOOO FOOOOLLOOOOOWW MEEEEEE!Through the mist, through the caves!
Through the darkness and the shadows, it's a nightmare but it's one exciting riiiide!Say a prayer, then we're there!
At the entrance of our mineshaft, and there's something truly terrible insiiiide!
They're demons! They've got fangs, razor sharp ones!
Massive paws, killer claws, for the feast!
Hear them scream, see them steam, but we're not coming home,
'Til they're deaaad! Good and deaaaad!
KILL THEM ALL!
Step 3: Tell civillians that I changed my mind and tell them to fuck off because these goddamn idiot kids are making my FPS drop to -500 FPS.
Step 4: Get demon to actually start moving through drastic measures since god knows the military is fucking around and not actually going to kill it.
Step 5: Are you fucking kidding me?!
Step 6: This fucking moron's grand master idea to build a floor using a granite right next to the demons we're trying to keep out rather than using a granite right goddamn next to the floor, then lead the demons right exactly where we do not want them.
Step 7: Pray that one part of the plan actually goes well...
Step 8: Gotcha! Flare Scepter was caught!
Step 9: Wish I could just have nice things for once in my miserable life.
Step 10: WONDER WHY THE FUCK THE BRIDGE ISN'T GOING UP EVEN THOUGH I CLEARLY TOLD SOMEONE TO PULL IT.
Step 11: Be relieved, but at the same time, hate life.So, the plan was a complete failure. FPS drops making it impossible to tell what's going on, massive announcement spam that made it impossible to notice anything including the fucking wonderfully-timed werebison attack, and that one goddamn idiot dwarf deciding it's a better idea to lure the demons over to our unprepared traps rather than barricade them off for good. We're worse off than before; no Galvantulas, and many demons in the adamantine room rather than just one.
I hate my life, and I suck ass as an overseer.