TURN 34Break into one and eat all their coffee cake and drink all the over priced beverages
1You donate to charity
again. Whoops.
Train the zombies around the mansion, then get onto the roof using the outside fire escape. Find Richtofen on the way. Escape.
6v6,6You gun down zombie after zombie, but there seems no end to the tide. Blowing up a wall to reach the fire escape, you make it to the rooftop and meet Richtofen as he is already starting up your van. Richtofen barks out a hurried greeting and waves you aboard as the zombies scale the wall. You fly away in the van as the mansion explodes behind you for no reason. Just when you think you're safe, a pack of Nazi zombies shamble out from the behind the back seats.
This is NOT how I left it. I believe we may have been transported into the future.
Consult the Astropath on if the above is true.
Send the Last Chancers in to retrieve the superweapon. If and only if they do badly, send assistance.
2(Last Chancers getting superweapon.)
5vs4The Astropath doesn't know where or when you are yet. She will keep trying to figure it out. The Last Chancers deploy to the surface of Chupacabra Earth. Many are dragged away by the hordes of blood-starved chupacabras, but none fall without a savage fight. The chupacabras seem to have been split into dog-like and reptile breeds that survived by preying on each other. After a river of blood and much struggle, the Last Chancers return to your Barge. Schaeffer presents you with a deadly laser satellite. It looks like it's meant to be used as a planetary defense system and has the firepower to disintegrate a dwarf planet in one shot.
Use the whole lizardman reveal for your advantage via posting anti-lizardman pro-napoleon propaganda in all internet.
Templars call the power of God to smite the sorcerers.
Napoleon army use (your probably) superior numbers to attack chaos main force
(Napoleon propaganda)
2(Templars vs Sorcerers)
5vs4(Napoleon's Army vs Chaos)
3vs4(Napoleon takes command)
3Nobody seems to believe you that Napoleon has risen. Your propaganda is mistaken for a joke.
The Templars cry out "Deus Vult!" and assault the Sorcerers. They aren't able to destroy them, but they disrupt spells and leave scars.
Meanwhile, the ghost army swarms around the city, firing at Chaos. The Chaos Marines have had a weird enough day so far, and are able to mount an efficient defense. Napoleon decides to go take command personally and flies out to Genericville.
"Starve, goatsuckers!"
use my power as famine to distract the chupacabra swarm with crippling hunger pangs and/or withering bodies due to malnutrition. Be prepared to defend myself.
Saitama
Feign a punch,hard enough to cause a massive section of the chupacabras to get wiped out.
If that fails...Get serious.
(Saitama vs Chupacabras)
5vs5(Get Serious)
3(Dustan vs Chupacabras)
1vs3(US/Giraffia vs Chupacabras)
2vs3The Horseman of Famine attempts to starve the chupacabras, but this just makes them even more vicious as they tear into their enemies. The US and Giraffe forces retreat on the helicopters. Saitama punches out many chupacabras, but the holes in their lines are immediately filled back in. Saitama decides that it's finally time to get serious. As if sensing his intention, the chupacabras back off and form a ring around Saitama and the Horseman.
In a burst of blood, the Chupacabra King teleports in. You hear a psychic voice in your mind.
"Your army has fallen. Prepare to be drained.""We are the Dark Eldar. It seems you require assistance."
"Not from you."
Have our troops retreat from Genericville.
Bomb Genericville. All of it.
Fix the anti-portal field that we'd had set up.
If everything else doesn't get rid of the portal that Chaos has set up, shut down that portal.
RIP Solid Giraffe/Giraffe Snake. Ya dun good, kid.
Hop on Ouroborous and ride him like a giant flying snake mount. Chase Milkdrinker's bus from the sky and rain down various spells from the sky on it.
Hop on Ouroborous, ride him like a giant flying snake mount to the bombers. Have Ouroborous eat the bombers like tasty metal snacks and assimilate them into his mass. In addition, throw deadly spells like a madman at any bombers that escape Orouboros or are otherwise out of reach.
A Chaos spy in the American government informed Eliphas about incoming bombers. "Brothers, regroup at the city hall ruins! I have a plan," said Eliphas to his troops. Then he ordered to the Chaos Sorcerers to create a protection dome from the pure Warp energy, while also hopping on Goatsby's Ouroborous: "Brother Goatsby, Americans want to bomb Genericville. We've no time for chasing Milkdrinker, we need to stop the bombers of the vile American unbelievers...
Give out the orders, then hop on the Ouroborous.
Seek the bombers and order Goatsby to destroy them!
5th and 7th Ghost Regiments: 5th regiment will try to possess bombers, 7th regiment will fly to France and steal Napoleon's marshall baton.
Note: Also, if the creation of the protection dome succeeds, non-Chaos NPCs/PCs who'll try to enter the dome will have to succeed on a contest roll (XvsX) in order to not go bonkers.
(Retreating from Genericville)
5(Carpet bombing Genericville)
1(Fix the anti-portal field)
2(Shut down the portal)
2vs3(Abraham Lincoln's mission)
5(Ouroboros vs Bombers)
3vs4(Goatsby)
6vs3(Sorcerers)
4-1(5th)
1v3(7th)
4vs4(Anak)
1vs1Abraham Lincoln decides to take care of ensuring that the timeline is intact. He goes back to 1865 and serves out his second term as President, ensuring that Shaun's positive changes to history still occur. He then returns to the present only a moment after he left.
The American troops mount an organized retreat from Genericville as a squadron of B2 stealth bombers is launched to carpet bomb the city. Before the bombs can be dropped, the bomber's commander issues a sudden order to abort. He refuses to drop bombs on American citizens, even in a situation as dire as this. His mercy doesn't spare the bombers from the invaders' retaliation, however. Goatsby rides up to the sky on the Oroboros. It isn't fast enough to catch any bombers, but Goatsby unleashes a fusillade of spells. B2s begin to be twisted inside out, explode, or turn into whales and plummet from the sky.
The 5th Regiment flies up and attempts to possess the pilots, but the bombers' hulls have been reinforced with runic wards. Seems the President has experience with such tactics. The 7th regiment meets with Napoleon to steal his ceremonial baton. When the late Emperor realizes they are going to steal from him, he snaps the baton over his knee and tosses the pieces aside.
Giraffia's anti-portal scientists hit a snag in their research. Apparently Earth's dimensional signature has been damaged by all the recent events, and it takes them a while to alter their equipment to take this into account.
As the Sorcerers recover from the surprisingly effective Templar attack, they raise a protection field over Genericville. It's no danger to the sanity of those who enter, but it will protect the city from any more bombing or other external attack. Elsewhere, Anak and the other defenders of New Hampshire are in a stalemate.
"Screw it, the apocalypse is happening." Pay in actual money.
5As you get your wallet out, the mechanic stops you. "Hey, don't I recognize you from somewhere? Yeah, Ozzy, right? Ozzy Smith?" It turns out that your father used to be a friend of his back in college. He still owes him a favor, and seeing how the world is ending and all, he'll pay it back by fixing your car for free.
Let them drink some milk, then send them to set city on fire.
6Your new follower drink heartily of the milk and go out to go start fires. However, in their ecstatic state they start by trying to burn a water tower. This may take a while.
While blissfully unaware of the impending apocalypse, try and rent a good movie. Use conjuring manual (for awesome +2 bonus which I promise I won't abuse) to create a huge TV with all the works. Send a stormtrooper to get a few cases of beer and a barrel of mead for Ithadtam.
(Make TV)
2+2(Rent movie)
3(Other things)
3You use the conjuration manual to summon a great TV, as you desired. The stormtrooper heads out and brings back the beer you requested along with a movie rental.
Your minions gather around as the movie begins.PLACEHOLDER ACTION: FORTIFY MUSIC STORE, ACQUIRE REPLACEMENT UKULELE AND INSTRUCT FANS TO REGROUP VIA SOCIAL MEDIA
3,5,5You're not sure if the fortifications you set up are particularly helpful for defense, but they are certainly cool. A couple of jet-black ukuleles sit on an open display with high-end musical equipment. A large crowd starts to gather as you set everything up, drawn by your Internet call.
Thanks
"Diablo" "Yeah" "Don't be an idiot" "Fine angel boy, *grumble grumble*"
Lucifer once more tries to destroy the Neo Doom Mug. Meanwhile, in New York, after being mentally yelled at by Angelo, Diablo once again tries to talk to Tesla.
Escape Doom Mug!
(Diablo talking to Tesla)
5(ATHATH's escape)
3v3,3-1You recover from the impact of both the cannon and Angelo's criticisms and walks up to Tesla. The inventor is desperately recharging the weapon with a hand crank as you raise a hand and explain that you just want to talk to him. Curious, Tesla stops charging his cannon and waits to hear you out.
Meanwhile in Hell, Lucifer conjures his legendary pitchfork. He draws it back, and hurls it against the Neo-Doom Mug.
(Lucifer vs Doom Mug)
1-1 to ImpactUh oh.
0 Turns to Neo-Doom Mug impact!The pitchfork sticks in the oncoming Mug, to no effect. ATHATH cheers, and then realizes he's still in the impact zone. ATHATH tries to open a portal and escape, but Lucifer tackles him and begins to scream at him in rage.
"WRETCHED, CURSED MORTAL! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE-The Father of Lies is then suddenly cut off as the 28-mile Mug smashes into the courthouse and rips through the ground on it's final course. The shrieks of demons join with the lamentations of the sinner souls as the Circles are broken. Demons try to escape, but the field meant to stop ATHATH from escaping keeps them hedged in as eternity ends. Milk floods Hell in the wake of the Mug's passing. At the lowest level of Hell, ATHATH's incorporeal form flickers as it dies from the colossal damage to the plane. The last thing ATHATH sees before passing is the crushed carcass of the Devil sticking out from under the Mug's remains, unholy outrage forever frozen on his visage.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk (Read 236106 times)