I've added a turn list with links to each post to the OP.
TURN 31The Neo-Doom Mug's handle seems to have caused some massive ripples in the Earth. Despite the fact that it hit Everest, Mount Rushmore erupts. The heads of the Presidents are framed by the lava pouring forth.
Give my human followers reward of godly milk for coming to the cathedral.
1Maybe that near miss with the nuke and the tank blast affected your powers. You accidentally give them plastic-wrapped cheese slices instead.
Accept and start a seanse to summon all ghost loyal to Napoleon.
Keep checking the crusaders progress.
3,2vs2You don't get all of his minions, but the ghosts of his 5th Regiment rise up to serve him again.
Wow they really screwed up the Imperium while we were out. Anyways, where do you need me most? Also the, ah, giant body is rather unnerving. How did you come about obtaining it?
Ask the Emperor the above. If some Ultra marines or space marines in general are nearby, request the commissioning of a power armor for me.
4The Emperor explains his reasons for stealing a Daemon's body. Many Marines are gathering as you speak to him, and some of the Adeptus Mechanicus run off to build you new armor when you ask.
Make Dinosaur Milk Cheese.
6You make the cheese, but it turns evil. The cheese begins to hop around your base and snap at people.
GET RID OF THE CHUPACABRAS!
Attempt to contact Rogue Traders and buy their services, because why not.
Start gathering video, picture, etc. evidence that other countries are ruled by the Reptilians, primarily with the services of Solid Snake Giraffe (you remember them, right?).
Go check on War and One-Punch Guy, make sure that we actually know what it is that they're working on.
EDITS:
Get One-Punch Guy to fight the Chupacabras.
Close that portal.
If it looks like Chaos will win the city, make a tactical retreat; better to lose the city than to lose a large segment of the Army and the city.
(US/Giraffia vs chupacabras)
5vs5(Wow, these things just don't want to die.)
(Contact Rogue Traders)
1+1(Giraffe Snake vs Reptillians)
5vs3(Check on allies)
4vs3(Reptillian sabotage fails)
(US vs Chaos)
4vs5The chupacabras remain furiously determined. Your troops start to call for reinforcements. You use SETI to try and contact Rogue Traders. They don't seem interested, but you manage to avoid offending them. Giraffe Snake goes deep undercover to try and root out Reptilian influence abroad. He sends you an incriminating video of lizard people in a back room at the UN. They seem to be discussing a plot to send you misinformation about Saitama and War.
Your troops attempt to reach the portal, but Chaos reinforcements prove just able to keep your commandos away.
Saitama
Try once again to thin out the crowd of chaos, people are dying and you really want a challenge, If th at fails, go for the Chupacabras, the President's executive order should be followed.
(Saitama vs Chaos)
2vs5(Saitama goes to chupacabra battle)
2+1 for the President presumably telling him where it is.You throw a few more punches, but then a call from the President distracts you. Hearing that you're needed for another battle, you leap away. It takes a while to find the right place, but you're ready for battle now.
Go to the art museum, pick up an audio tour and follow the tour
1You start taking the tour. However, your headset's batteries die shortly after you begin. A shame too, since it sounded like the narration was interesting.
More Chaos infantry and vehicles go through the portal, hoping to drown the American military in blood. Some of those troops are Khornate Berzerkers, ready to split the skulls of the enemies in the name of Khorne. Meanwhile, Eliphas fights through Milkdrinker's rabid fans, trying to stop the concert. He aims his Reaper Autocannon at the sound systems...
Aim for the sound systems, and destroy them to stop the concert, once and for all. If successful, join my army in the attempt to push the Americans out of the city.
Main Army: Send a couple of Chaos Marines squads to Chupacabras as a sign of a new (temporary) alliance, then with the help of Ithadtam, Chupacabras, and Hell Bovines, obliterate the American and Crusader forces, or at least make them rout.
If Chaos successfully destroys the enemy forces, finally capture the city in the name of Chaos!
@ star2wars3
Would you to cooperate against the American unbelievers, and destroy them together? Don't worry, you'll still have right to exist.
(Eliphas vs sound systems)
3(Chupacabra alliance)
1(Chupcabras vs Chaos)
6vs1(Chaos and Allies vs Genericville)
1+1vs5(Anak vs New Hampshire)
2vs6Eliphas's autocannon roars as it shreds through the set. The stream of bullets destroys one speaker, but there is another one left. You fire at it, but a fan dives into the way. He gets turned into hamburger, but the music goes on.
Chaos and it's allies attempt to destroy their enemies and finally take the city. However, a rousing speech by the giraffe-commander rallies the troops, and Chaos' assaults are stopped in their tracks. It takes all they have to maintain control of the portal. Somewhere, Michael Bay cheers for the news footage, while complaining that there aren't enough explosions and American flag shots.
Chaos attempts to make an alliance with the chupacabras, but they aren't interested. The Chaos Marines are slaughtered and drained of their blood.
Ouroboros should continue helping me out. Spray beast-bone projectiles in Milkdrinker's general direction like a mad-man.
"CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC!"
(Goatsby vs Milkdrinker)
1vs4(Ouroboros vs Milkdrinker)
6vs3(Auto-Milkdrinker vs Goatsby)
6-1vs3The Ouroboros rolls over Milkdrinker like a giant wheel, smashing him into the ground. Goatsby rises up approaches his prone opponent, flinging a storm of bones at Milkdrinker. However, at the last moment Milkdrinker unleashes a brutal onslaught of ukulele tunes that hurls Goatsby against the zoo wall.
Spray part of my new weapon on Genericville
Watch from safe distance with Richtofen,
1,2(Richtofen finding shelter)
5Something seems to be wrong with the deployment mechanism. The weapon shakes and its fuel tank backfires, leaking into the ground. Richtofen snarls in frustration as he realizes what's about to happen. The dead begin to rise from the dirt. As the zombies shake off the remnants of their graves, the black uniforms of Nazis become visible. Richtofen drags you off to a nearby abandoned mansion. The windows look like they could be boarded up, and some guns are stockpiled.
Conjure a 10 foot long spear, along with a rectangular shield the length of two school buses and the width of a house.
take said spear from him as he tries to conjure it, and poke him in the eye till he releases the next turn for his own RTD.
(Rethi summoning weapons)
5(Dustan vs Rethi)
1vs5Rethi forms the giant weapons. They seem to have the antimagic properties of his own armor. Suddenly the Horseman of Famine appears to stab him with it, but Rethi quickly swings the enormous spear just in time to knock Dustan off his mount.
@Dustan Hache
Hey, while your here, want to join? We are trying to get the four horsemen of the apocalypse, war and death are taken but you could play as pestilence or famine.
"I don't understand why we are going through all this trouble to find a man who surely doesn't want to be found" "Because we need him to accomplish the plan" "Yes, but why are we tracking him" "You have a better idea" "Well, he made himself this towns guardian, did he not?" "Diablo don't" "Too late"
Begin causing chaos until Nikola Tesla (Who we are just saying in this universe got the elixir of life from Nickolas Flamel because hey, it makes about as much sense as everything else in this game)
appears so I can talk to him. Elsewhere, in hell, Lucifer shoots the doom mug out of the sky and adds "attempt to destroy hell" to ATHATH's list of crimes.
(Finding Tesla)
4(Lucifer vs Doom Mug)
2After a few minutes of smashing things, a warning shot from a lightning cannon announces to you that you have found your target. Tesla stands in the doorway of an old mansion.
In Hell, Lucifer attempts to shoot down the Mug. However, he misses.
(Spoiler omitted)
Participate in the court case.
(ATHATH vs Hell Court)
2vs6Beelzebub begins the proceedings. A demonic jury chants "GUILTY! GUILTY!"
"ATHATH. You are guilty of copyright infringement and attempting to destroy Hell. How do you plead?"Looks like they aren't inclined toward being just.
2 turns to Neo-Doom Mug impact in Hell.