TURN 21Tell the president that his name is Donald Trump, and that he intends to make immigrants illegal, and doen't watch the news, and believes whatever the first thing he hears is.
Also, the previous president was black, and he was a good president.
Continue chatting about current events.
Also, mention that he has a very nice beard.
5Lincoln listens carefully to all that you're saying. After many hours of discussion, he thinks. "So, you say this Mr."Trump" is causing all these problems? Please, take me to the year Two-Thousand and Seventeen. Let me see what I can do there, if I am as popular as you say. By the way, thank you again for keeping my head intact. I'd like to give you a medal, but I suspect it would be best not to create too much record of your visit. Perhaps this will suffice?"
Lincoln then gives you his iconic hat. Lincoln's Hat provides a +1 to any action taken while wearing it.
"A more direct approach, then."
Imbue Gulliman's body with explosive energies. DESTROY HIM FROM THE INSIDE OUT!
2vs6Chaos Terminator Squad (6 people) emerges from the portal and starts to cover Eliphas. "Terminators, fire at anyone who's foolish enough to attack me!" Screamed Eliphas who takes out his vox-caster to contact the reserve squads. "Squad Gamma 1, open the portal leading to the school and pillage it! Loot any milk and capture as much children as you can! Squad Epsilon 3 & 4, open the portal near the Decimator tank and help them drive the National Guard from the city! Do not fail me, out!" Ordered Eliphas to the reserve squads...
Tell the Terminators to cover me from the enemy while I give out the orders to the troops.
Give out the orders above.
Along with my Terminators, concentrate the fire on Gulliman.
Decimator Tank: When I get reinforcements, don't waste Reaper autocannon ammo at the infantry and focus on destroying enemy vehicles. If the enemy infantry will try to stop me, roll over them.
Order Basilisks to do artillery barrage against the National Guard.
Make the enemies rout.
Note: Gamma 1 has 1 Land Raider and 15 Chaos Marines aboard of it, Epsilon 3 has 20 Havocs with Rocket Launchers (for protecting the tank from the enemy aircraft), and Epsilon 4 has 2 Chaos Predators and 6 Chaos Basilisks. All squads have at least 1 Chaos Sorcerer for opening Warp Portals to the destination points.
3,2+1vs1,2,5+1vs6-1Fighting.
2vs4Finally notice Doom Mug in original post, leave combat and attempt to stop the inevitable end. If successful, search for Milkdrinker poster/flier. If insuccessful, do the same thing anyways
1I assume you'd want to hit back, Johiah.
5vs4+1Chaos continues to push back. The National Guard troops are routed according to Eliphas's plot, and the other troops are wounded. Rethi tries to leave the battle, but Ithadtam assumes he was just charging in the wrong direction and helps him out by picking him up and carrying him back into battle. Gulliman attacks Eliphas and they continue to clash. They duel for some time until Eliphas's Terminators give the Word Bearer the advantage. Goatsby tries to make Gulliman explode, but Gulliman resists his spell.
Elsewhere, Chaos troops storm the school, but the teachers evacuated all the kids already. There wasn't any milk either. Soda lobby got to them, I guess.
On any other day I would smite this fool myself, but instead, I must focus on protecting the world.
Continue my spell, hope the great one smites the heretic, and with any luck, send the heretic to the elder plain with the same spell.
5,6vs4Redirect any and all attacks on the DOOOOOM MUUUUUUUG back to/at their sources. Speed up the arrival of the DOOOOOM MUUUUUUUG.
1,3ATHATH attempts to protect the Doom Mug, but a bolt of lightning strikes upward from the earth and disrupts his attempt. At the same time, Angelo uses his power to create an enormous portal and sent the entire Doom Mug to the Elder Plane. ATHATH manages to cast a spell to speed the Mug up, but then Angelo grabs the ghostcowman and throws him through the portal. ATHATH arrives in a Lovecraftian world. Masses of tentacles and eyes dot an endless yellow void.
In more important news, take out some of the military budget and set it aside for a joint military-NASA project to create a device that can help us to end the doom-mug threat.
Also, now that other countries are already in action doing this, as well as the fact that they clearly accept our giraffes as intelligent and important, establish embassies for the amazing country of Giraffia!
I love how I'm in charge of two countries.
6+1,6You get the embassies built. The NASA/DARPA collaboration begins its superweapon project, but then the Doom Mug suddenly disappears through a portal.
Continue looking for giraffe milk, and consume the special Bovine Biscuit.
1You're sure there's no giraffe milk available anywhere in the city. Sadly, you eat the biscuit and gain your new powers.
Build a cathedral in the middle of the lake, made out of milk and joining to the shore with milky bridge.
4The cathedral rises majestically from the lake. A small crowd hestiantly crosses over through the gap in your forcefield.
Anex Vermont
You'll have to fight the giraffagarchy.
1vs3You persuade the sentient cows to hop in a bunch of trucks and go try to take over Vermont. You don't make much progress, as troops lead by giraffe commanders drive your forces back from any attacks they make.
Take Oichi to the airport, then escape the city via buying a plane ticket at random
4+1
You and Oichi get to the airport and board a randomflight. You end up in....Luxembourg.