TURN 14Rob every McDonalds fast food restaurant within 3 miles of at least 4 giraffes.
This is a weird game.
3You deploy your giraffes. Most are still in cages or far away from cities though. A few McDonalds do get robbed by giraffe bandits. They are confused.
Let the water fall down and transform, get as much milk as I can. Stomp anyone disturbing the milk god!
5You have an enormous amount of milk in the pit, which you expand into a lake. A few houses fall in.
go outside the library and pull a motorcycle from your longcoat. Someone has to wait for the carpenter in the airport after all.
2You can't pull out a motorcycle. That would just be ridiculous.
PRAISE TZEENTCH! PRAISE TZEENTCH!
5The Chaos Marines return your chant and welcome you into their ranks.
Say to the man: Yeah yeah whatever. Talk to the cow burger things if you have any complaints. But would you like fries with that?
1"SIR. GET. ME. A. REAL. BURGER."
"OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! OH GODS, YOU SAVED MY LIFE! THANK YOU SO MUCH!"
COLLAPSE TO THE GROUND ONCE I AM SAFE, HUGGING THE ANKLES OF NEAREST RESCUER WHILST CRYING WITH RELIEF
1You trip one of your rescuers as you thank them. Oops.
Prepare a spell that will turn all milk I don't own into cursed become-cat-obedient-to-me milk.
Donate self to OceanSoul so that I won't turn into cursed milk. Produce MOAR MILK.
1You produce acid instead. It burns holes in the floor.
Eliphas is both angry and shocked at the incompetence of the driver. "What in the name of Dark Gods you just did do?! Drive us to city hall immediately, worm! You don't want me to test my power fist much sooner than we meet our enemies, do you?"
Intimidate the driver, then order him to drive to the city hall.
If the driver fails again: Grab his head with my power fist and crush it like a watermelon, then drive Land Raider to the city hall by myself.
If the driver succeeds: Disembark with my strike force and try to summon 2 Chaos Predators. If there'll be some enemies, then order my strike force to pin them down while I summon the tanks.
If I fail to summon the tanks: Break through the doors of the city hall.
Also, here's Eliphas the Inheritor quotes.
Just for some fluff.
Yes sir.
3,35+1 for intimidation.You intimidate the driver into getting right to your goal. Police officers have fortified the entrance. Opening a portal, you call up a single tank.
Form a defensive bloackade around city hall and the warp portal. I will attempt to bring in backup.
(Apparently this hotel has internet)
Ask the police to do as above.
Construct a man of iron. His task is to build more of himself, defend the town against chaos, and gather milk in any way possible, without harming civilians. This will be hardcoded in, I don't want a repeat of the great war at the end of the dark age of technology.
(This was typed on an Ipad, so I don't have hyperlinks. Sorry.)
5The creation of the machine goes flawlessly. You manage to avoid the heresy of creating an Abominable Intelligence through clever loopholes. The Man of Iron gets promptly to work.
"Hold the line"
"CHAOS UNDIVIDED!"
Giving Chaos a +1 for being stronger.
3vs3+1Chaos and police trade fire. The police seem to be suppressed by the more powerful bolt weapons despite their greater numbers.
Prepare a spell that will turn all milk I don't own into cursed become-cat-obedient-to-me milk.
6Uh oh. You prepare a massive spell, and cast it. Around the world, millions drink milk. Around two million transform in the first few minutes before warnings start flooding social media. However, you can't control them.
Continue fixing it, substituting artron energy for anything else that went wrong.
I roll a 6 sided dice again.
2+1 for DM error.You work on your time machine. Repairs are incomplete, you can only go to 1783. You roll a
2.