TURN 6"WHAT."
Confused by how strangely his exodus of the house went, the GREAT GOATSBY stands on his own two hooves feet and attempts to magically replace Yoink's tear ducts.
3"WHAT INDEED... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU DIVING OUT WINDOWS? RUNNING OUT OF MILD ISN'T THAT BAD..."
STARE AT CHEERING BYSTANDER
CONSOLE HOUSEMATE MALLOS
MEANWHILE, REMEMBER WHERE NEAREST MILK-SELLING STORE IS
1Mallos and Yoink work out their conflict as the bystander finishes applauding and wanders off. Mallos attempts to restore Yoink's tear ducts, but instead gives him the ability to shoot blood like a horned lizard instead. Yoink attempts to find the store. He gets completely lost and ends up at the zoo instead.
take water bottle
is water bottle metal?
wander in search of not-milk even further, acquire as much not-milk as I can
3You pick up the water bottle. It's plastic, and about half full. You soon find a plastic bag branded with the store's logo. You can use this to carry other trash.
Go back to store. Buy milk.
4You head back to the store and buy the milk with the uneaten money in your wallet.
You have milk!After both building up confidence in his disguise and resisting the urge to just take the humans milk, Zibnob asks the human a question.
"Hello there fellow human, I am also human, if I may inquire, from what location within this establishment did you acquire that milk?"
3The human looks down at you, and puts a hand to an earpiece she's wearing. "*Husband*, we've got a probable *Alf* in the *Farm*. Advise?" She points you to a row of glowing doors on the other side of the market while patting a plastic figurine of a human-spawn in the front receptacle of her cart.
go to the clerk and put a hand inside your trenchcoat to retrieve your gun...shaped wallet.
Pay for the milk and donuts.
1The clerk glances up from his phone as you start to draw your wallet. Instantly, an
M9 is in his hand. "Son, think very carefully about what you do next."
McDonalds has those little plastic milk containers that they put in kid's meals, don't they? Pick up some of those (the milk containers, not the happy meals) and return to the apartment. Win game.
3You pick up some of the little milk containers in your mouth as the customers and staff stand back warily. You sense a nice smell compelling you to return home and head on back. When you get there, you realize that the containers are empty.
I HAVE MILK! Store a good amount of the milk in the fridge, use a little bit in a special Bovine Biscuit for ATHATH that will let him change to and from cow form at will, and use the rest in a special pie whose aroma attracts cows. I'll milk this opportunity for all it's worth!
N/A, 1, 4You carry the bubbling bucket of milk upstairs. You remember that you don't have a fridge anymore, because Mallos and the Shadow broke it. You'll need to find some other method of storing your milk. Before dealing with that, you get to work on your cooking. The biscuit for ATHATH doesn't seem to turn out well. At least, it sprouted spidery legs and crawled into the floorboards as soon as it was done. The pie is much more tame. You put it on the windowsill. On the horizon, you see several cattle wandering through fences and yards to reach you.
Abort! Escape! Do whatever it is that the dice will accept to remove myself from this chaos!
No roll, since you're just leaving and Eliphas isn't binding you anymore.
Milk Monster roars furiously while Eliphas inside tries to control the monster with all his possible strength.
Try to stun Gulliman by striking him in the face with a power sword's hilt. if successful, grab him and smash him into the ground so hard, that he'll penetrate the sewer system and will end up in bedrock. In any case, powerfully strike the ground, releasing a strong shadowflame wave, which will burn or ignite every lapdog of the False Emperor... at the cost of losing my bonus and killing the spirit inside of it (since he'll be released as a shadowflame wave).
In any case (fail or success), pray to Khorne so he can open warp portal and send 1 Khorne Chosen Champion and 7 Khornate Berzerkers, then try to control the milk monster even harder.
Controlling the monster:
1, Summoning the troops:
2Open fire!
4+3 for numbers vs 1Snnrgl...
4The Milk Monster roars as the Shadow finally bursts free of the sword. The sword continues to burn. The Monster seems to be drawing its power and life force from it. Eliphas tries to tighten his grip on the creature's mind. However, when he starts to think of hurting the sword, the Monster rejects him and takes control for itself. Sensing its distraction, the Imperium troops unleash the Emperor's holy wrath. Lasguns, bolters, power fists, and chainswords mutilate the creature. It collapses, spitting Eliphas out as it loses the mass to contain him. With the last of its strength, it flees with milk tendrils wrapped around the sword, dropping down into the sewers. Police gather around, pointing weapons at all the remaining participants. They start nervously yelling for everyone to drop their weapons.
Poll
16 (44.4%)
Author
Topic: Minimalism and Milk (Read 236252 times)