Date: 9/31/30
I woke up today feeling surprisingly refreshed, despite having to find a new coffin to sleep in last night. You see, when I pushed off my old coffin's lid last night, I was angry to discover that someone had stolen it! I almost pulled out every piece of the damn puppy to make room for myself, but the pieces were still fairly wet and the whole thing smelled a bit too much like strawberries for my taste. I did happen to find a nice new coffin though, one tucked deep within the catacombs, away from prying eyes and the noisy sounds of the living.
Date: 2/18/31
These clothes are getting pretty fucking old and it's pissing me off, as well as many others here in Doorsteel. At first I did not care much, but when my favorite stained red sock had gotten to the point where it was no more than a thin band around my ankle, it had reached a tipping point. I heavily considered starting a small cloth and clothes industry to cover our needs, but then I had a realization. What happens when those clothes turn to tatters? I'd probably kill myself if I ever had to bear the loss of another prized sock. I had no idea what to do about the matter- that is, until the door to the armory opened and a few hammerdwarves walked out on patrol, clanking by in their beautiful, impenetrable, perfectly reflective steel plate armor... That was it, my answer!
Date: 2/19/31
"Just imagine! Every single dwarf living in Doorsteel, an impenetrable, walking shell of steel! We would be unstoppable!" I excitedly told Medtob in his office while he stared back at me in disbelief. "How- no, WHY would we EVER do that!?" He exclaimed. I lifted my leg up and slammed my naked foot down on his desk, inches away from his pile of work orders and bowl of mussel stew. "Do you SEE THIS!? This tiny red strip is all that's left of my favorate fucking sock, and I'm pretty sure your clothes are not doing too much better!" I shouted and pointed an accusing finger at Medtob. "Why not wear armor instead of regular clothes? It's not like they are gonna tatter like this pig tail crap!" I continued, Medtob looking back at me, unconvinced. "How in the world are we going to get enough steel to make a full suit of armor for EVERY citizen? You've seen the stocks, there isn't a single piece of coal under Doorsteel, and relying on trees for steel production would be too dangerous and time consuming" Medtob
responded. "What if we only issue steel to the military?" I proposed, "citizens could be given iron instead, as we have plenty of that in our stocks". Medtob stroked his beard thoughtfully for a long while before turning to me. "fine, but what do we do about everyone's clothes? Not everyone's clothes are tattered, and I doubt many will happily give up what they have in favor of heavy, uncomfortable, armor" I paused for a moment before a sly smile crept upon my face. "Medtob, did I ever tell you why there are cabinets lying at the bottom of the river?" I asked, slowly creeping more and more uncomfortably close to Medtob. "No... No you did'nt..." He stammered back. "I did it to set an example Medtob, to make a statement. I made the masons one by one haul up their precious cabinets, then I made them personally dump them in the river so they would know what would happen next time they stepped out of line." At this point my face was only inches away from Medtob's, my voice barely above a whisper. "And you know what I'm gnna do? I'm gonna order every Doorsteel citizen to the surface, then have them strip off their clothes and dump them into the river, all while a pile of shining iron armor waits for them on the side. Once we do this Medtob..." I stepped back and turned away before finishing, "We will be unstoppable..." Medtob quickly stood up behind me before responding "But what about the children!? Armor is much too large and heavy for them!" I whipped back around, facing Medtob. "Fuck the children! They do fuck-all around here, so why should we give a shit about them!" Medtob sat back down as I turned and left. Still walking away from Medtob and his office, I called back to him saying "It's a predator eat prey world Medtob..." I paused before turning a corner to look back, giving Medtob one last grin.
"...Make sure you're not the prey."
Date: 4/7/31
Every week or so one of one of the fisherdwarves will walk into the dining hall, raise 1-3 mussels above his head and declare to all "There is nothing to catch in the river". Our shell stocks may currently be through the roof (literally), but I still fear when they run out and our primary export evaporates...
Date: 7/18/31
The armor smiths have been hard at work ever since I placed my order for 150 full suits of Iron armor. Yesterday the smiths told me that less than half the suits were ready, but I don't want to but the plans into motion until they are all ready. Doorsteel's population only sits around 80, but I want us to have plenty extra for when more migrants inevitably arrive.
Soon... Soon we will be unstoppable...
Date: 10/2/31
It's been pretty boring as of late, that was until last night when the Diamond Blades visited me in a vision. The 8 of them began to torture me, saying it was because Doorsteel lacked cheese, and that I would pay for this horrible mistake. I begged them to stop, promising anything as as payment. They stopped and discussed quietly among themselves. Right as they were about to tell me what their request was, I blacked out and woke up in Doorsteel's infirmary. The chief medical dwarf walked over, seeing me awake. "You can't keep eating plump helmet spawn Ketjelly! Pick it out and drop it on the floor like a normal dwarf. You do know that eating it can cause hallucinations right?" She said to me. I angrily turned to her, pointed at her stupid face, and did the only logical thing to do. I puked.
Date: 10/3/31
I know what the Diamond Blades want! I had a dream last night, and I am certain that it was their way of showing me what they wanted me to construct. An iron pyramid to replace our pitiful wooden walls. I will begin sketching plans in preparation for the construction as soon as possible!
Date: 10/18/31
Today we began construction on the pyramid! It took a lot persuading, but eventually they gave in to the notion of building a pyramid purely out of iron. Half of the town thinks I am going crazy, but I assured them that by building it, we would be impervious to surface attacks.
Date: 10/27/31
The caravan from the mountain homes arrived in our depot this afternoon. After browsing all that they had brought, I decided that all we wanted was a few crates of silk and leather- and the cheese, ALL of the cheese. I gave them in return a single crate filled with iron crafts, all decorated with images of the Diamond Blades. I am determined to spread my knowledge on the Diamond Blades, even if the only way I can is through export of goods adorned with their likeness and legacy.
Date: 11/12/31
So far so good with the construction. We tore down the wooden walls and replaced them with the lowest level of iron ramps and walls. We have begun to pave the interior floor entirely with iron, leaving a small hole for a few wells and the odd fisherman. We also built a single large Iron drawbridge to replace the two small wooden ones. Unfortunately many of the workers that haul bars of iron up to the surface become dizzy and retch everywhere. This is not all bad though, as their vomit is all blue, indicating that it must be a sign from the Diamond Blades.
Date: 12/4/31
My workforce is about as bright as a box of rocks! So, I was overseeing the construction of the iron floor, and the time came to remove all the grates installed over the river so we could replace them with iron floors. I ordered several be removed, then moments later, heard splashing! The fucking morons have no sense of "safety" when removing the grating, happily standing on grates that are being deconstructed. Some were so thick, that they stood on a floor grate WHILE they themselves deconstructed it! I had to watch them like a fucking hawk just to ensure no more dwarves would drown in the river. Eight dwarves fell into the river today, and 3 of them shocked me when they climbed up the river's sheer embankment! I have no idea how they did not drown like the others, as everyone here at Doorsteel agrees with me that swimming is impossible. I am having the 3 dwarves questioned and marked for inspection. The Trustworthy Abbey's tomes did say that vampires do not need to breathe, and in that case we may be
dealing with 3 more vampires...
Date: 12/12/31
I was in the process of having the 3 presumed vampires all be locked away within the catacombs, when someone suggested that perhaps they had not swam, but instead stood upon the cabinets at the bottom of the river. Moments later, the 3 hastily admitted to doing so, before babbling on about how absurd the idea of swimming was. Silly me!
Date: 1/13/32
Another goblin siege arrived! this one much smaller, as the watchdwarf says its only around 80 gobbo's and a few beak dogs. The lowest part of the walls were finished, so at least we are safe.
Date: 1/21/32
Fools! The construction must be completed or THEY won't be happy! I ordered the dwarves to continue construction on the second level of the pyramid, but after the goblins began shooting at them, my workforce came running back like frightened children. They refused to continue construction while the fort was under siege, but they are being overly dramatic. The first dwarf to poke his head out only had 4 bolts sticking out of his arms and legs when he came running back- weakling!
Date: 2/2/32
Problems arose at the drawbridge today. Several people who had originally come to spend a week in our tavern, found themselves trapped inside as the fort came under siege. For any normal creature, this would not be a problem, simply wait out the siege in the tavern, but alas, these were humans. Last week a human bard had died down in the tunnels. After being unable to leave over the drawbridge, he has searched for an alternate exit, only to starve to death like a moron. These humans however were especially stupid, because they just sat at the gate waiting for it to be opened, like a dog that needed to be let out. I knew in a few days these humans were gonna start dropping like blood gnats, and there's no way a filthy outsider is being placed in MY catacombs. After asking the scout, he said there were no goblins in sight, so I let down the drawbridge to let them out. The humans continued to stand there, REFUSING to leave. I tried shouting at them too, but they must have been deaf and stupid. After realizing
they were too dumb for me to be able to help, I heard the scout shouting. I looked up to see a wave of around 20 goblins burst out of the forest, mere moments away from reaching the drawbridge. "PULL THE FUCKING LEVER!!" I shouted at a random dwarf that was standing next to the drawbridge's lever. Right as he was about to pull it, he turned his head and saw the horde of goblins, then he turned and fled like an idiot! I bolted down the stairwell, hoping that our small military could hold them off. The single squad of 10 dwarves in full steel plate barreled past me and out into the sunlight, and after a minute passed I popped my head up to see how they were faring. It was not pretty, as most of them were having trouble standing and had already begun painting the floor blue. The others however put up a mean fight. The initial clash happened just inside past the bridge, and they had beaten them back onto the drawbridge. several goblins and dwarves fell off of the drawbridge and into the water. The tides were
actually turning in favor of us, that was, until another wave of goblins arrived. at that point I knew they could not hold them back, I turned and fled into the fortress, knowing that only one thing could save us. The army of Iron. I had not told anyone my exact plans besides Medtob, and unfortunately I had to kick them into action prematurely. Reluctantly, I ordered every able bodied dwarf run to the forges and grab a suit of armor, then report back to me in the meeting hall. A few minutes later I had two thirds of the colony, about 80 dwarves, all in front of me wearing a few pieces of armor each. Only a few had actually grabbed full suits, while the rest had only grabbed a few pieces. It would have to do though... I ordered them all to charge the surface. We had numbers on our side, but I still thought that it was going to be a hard fight. I was wrong. They may have been nothing but fishermen and the odd miner, all wearing nothing but a few pieces of iron armor, but they fought valiantly. First, we
cleared out the stairwell before swarming the surface. Some of the dwarves let loose heroic war cries, but most settled for letting loose their inner desire to paint the floor blue. We cut through the pathetic goblins like a red-hot blade through... well pretty much anything. We pushed them back all the way out into the clearing in front of the drawbridge. Two more waves of goblins charged us, but they also fell like chaff before the wind.
We had done it, we had saved Doorsteel...
Date: 2/15/32
The surface is quite a sight to behold, as corpses and equipment lay strewn everywhere. It's beautiful really, broad strokes of red and blue cover everything, half of them painted by blades, the others, by mouths. Our single armored military squad was completely wiped out in the initial clash. In the retake however, we lost only 5 civilians, pretty surprising given that they were all unarmed save for the rare pick or logging ax. Doorsteel's population now rests just over 90 dwarves. We have spent the past few weeks cleaning up the area.
Date: 2/25/32
By the Diamond Blades... something is coming through the forest towards Doorsteel. Something large... We have heard it's roars and the occasional ground shudder as we see a tree fall in the distance, and the trees are getting closer. whatever it is it will be here by very soon.
Date: 2/27/32
It came... It was massive... It was powerful... It was a WORM... A great forest titan, a massive worm in form. It had a pair of little wings on it's back, a pair that made the creature appear rather humorous. I did not even bother to sound the alarm to bring everyone indoors (they were all still cleaning up after the siege), instead I placed my squad of armored miners on the front line, along with a single human that had just applied for soldiering. Unfortunately only 3 of the dwarves along with the human decided to show up, and one of the dwarves was already hobbling on a crutch from the siege. I still doubted the giant worm would put up much of a fight, but I was sadly mistaken. The worm moved slowly, and yet had the dexterity or a skink, making him impossible to hit. To make matters worse, what DID hit him merely glanced off! He immediately grabbed one of the nearby miners and sent them flying, only to slam into a tree 10 seconds later. Then the worm turned to the human, and the poor lass did not stand a chance, as he bit her head clean off within a matter of seconds! I ran back to the fort, rallying the iron army. We all charged at the worm, but it was impossible to pin down! It dodged and weaved in between blows, shrugging off anything that was lucky enough to hit. He slowly whittled down our numbers, chomping a dwarf in two here, throwing a dwarf into the forest there, it was a massacre. Eventually though, we did manage to beat the beast down, but with heavy losses. The population now rests around 65.
Date: 2/28/32
This morning we all went outside to begin burying the dead. What was going to be a busy day of hauling quickly turned into a slow day of mourning when we discovered that Medtob the mayor had been struck down in the chaos. The large tombs in the catacombs had been built with myself and stuck-up nobles in mind, but I believed that Medtob deserved one. I don't know who or what he was, but I think most of the fort also realized he was more than just a dwarf. He had held office ever since he arrived, being re-elected at least three times. After having his corpse placed in his opulent tomb, I had the entire inside engraved. Unsurprisingly, most of the images ended up referring to his re-elections. I also commissioned 8 statues from the masons, each statue being of a single member of the Diamond Blades. Much like the statues in the catacomb's halls depict the Diamond blades surrounding a dead dwarf, so too will all the tombs have 8 statues surrounding the coffin. 8 members of the Diamond Blades posing victoriously over the dwarf who lies dead within the coffin. Perhaps we will never know who or what Medtob truly was, but he was a friend in our hearts- that was until the town turned around and took a big steaming crap all over his legacy by LITERALLY electing Sakzul the vampire as mayor- AS FUCKING MAYOR. The fucker's been wasting away in his own fucking tomb for the past 3 years for crying out loud!
...
You know what, fuck all of you, May the Diamond Blades decide eternally.
Author
Topic: The Legacy of Doorsteel, and the Tale of the Diamond Blades (Read 643 times)