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Author Topic: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress  (Read 15698 times)

Madman198237

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #60 on: June 14, 2017, 02:33:20 pm »

Fishing is always done best from the bottom of the river.


The dwarf will dodge through solid stone construction. Laws of physics, or no.
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Altaree

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #61 on: June 15, 2017, 02:24:51 pm »

The goblet your thirsty dwarf wants to use is at the other end of the fort from the booze the dwarf wants to drink.
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Dan Pearson:
This is a game which calculates the volume of blood in every creature it generates so it knows how much alcohol it would have to consume to get drunk, an update which, remarkably, ended up covering people's fortresses in cat vomit.

Colonel Sanders Lite

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #62 on: June 15, 2017, 11:02:26 pm »

Should you build a small tavern in the forge area for the benefit of your smiths, your dwarves will all flock to it and the legendary dining hall you intended to be used by the general population will rarely see use.
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Staalo

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #63 on: June 16, 2017, 02:15:57 am »

Jewelers will only encrust bags, bins or barrels.

Failing that, they encrust only the cheapest, most worn out items they can find.

Given half a chance, jewelers will try to encrust a single item with everything they got.

After a siege someone will manage to claim and proudly wear a skid-marked (troll fur loincloth), no matter what you do.

At some point that XloinclothX will be encrusted with everything the jewelers got.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2017, 06:13:04 am by Staalo »
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Spriggans

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #64 on: June 16, 2017, 04:50:36 am »

Given half a chance, jewelers will try to encrust a single item with everything they got.

Happened to me once.
I had a -rock door-, and the jeweler encrusted everything in it. It became a 50 000¤ worth door ^^
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Ghidorah

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #65 on: June 16, 2017, 05:32:34 pm »

If you are expecting them to have FUN, sieges and megabeasts will never appear.
I embarked next to a dark pit. I never had a sentient creature die in my fortress for five years and counting.

1: Your Dwarves will inevitably let go of the mine cart he's hauling, while on a hill. You will never find out exactly why he did it.
2: A dwarf will never find issue with picking up a flaming object, even as he's burning to death while carrying it.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2017, 05:44:48 pm by Ghidorah »
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #66 on: June 16, 2017, 07:48:48 pm »

The moment when that miner removes the last tile separating himself and the vast volcano before him is the moment when he decides to have himself a nice long thought. While standing motionless.
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Zuglarkun

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #67 on: June 17, 2017, 10:33:34 pm »

Dwarfs constructing walls to keep threats out will always find themselves on the wrong side of the wall afterwards.

Bonus: When constructing megaconstructions, your mason will inevitably wall themselves within the megaconstruction, you will only find out after the megaconstruction is completed.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2017, 10:38:09 pm by Zuglarkun »
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Maul_Junior

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #68 on: June 17, 2017, 11:50:10 pm »

Dwarfs constructing walls to keep threats out will always find themselves on the wrong side of the wall afterwards.

Bonus: When constructing megaconstructions, your mason will inevitably wall themselves within the megaconstruction, you will only find out after the megaconstruction is completed.

Many bothans dorfs died to make us these Death Star monument plans.
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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #69 on: June 18, 2017, 12:32:13 am »

You will forget to make pants, and your dwarves clothes will rot off. Somebody will go berserk.

When you need to make a specific material/item from a reaction or for a mood quickly, one or more of the necessary reagents will not be available and theres nothing you can do about it.

Your furnace operators will always choose to smelt the ores still in the mines hundreds of tiles walk from the forges instead of the ones in the stockpile directly adjacent to them. It will take them at minimum one week to haul said ore all the way back to the forge, and if there is a crundle in the mines they will encounter it and get in a fight
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scourge728

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #70 on: June 18, 2017, 12:30:07 pm »

Your game WILL inevitably crash, likely for no reason whatsoever and also likely right near the end of a season (if you have autosaves on) or when you were about to save the game

Caravans WILL eventually decide to self destruct over things such as, corpses, each other and even, the air even better if you actually needed something from said caravan  (props if you get the reference in there)

Altaree

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #71 on: July 14, 2017, 08:11:06 am »

When you need to make something for a noble demand, your manager will chose that moment to write a book, drink, eat, sleep, pray(pink), and then socialize(pink).

Between dfhack workflows and the manager interface I very rarely manually queue jobs in workshops.
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Dan Pearson:
This is a game which calculates the volume of blood in every creature it generates so it knows how much alcohol it would have to consume to get drunk, an update which, remarkably, ended up covering people's fortresses in cat vomit.

achamalacha

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #72 on: July 14, 2017, 11:31:28 am »

Pro-tip: Ctrl+Shift+N (in LNP) can rename any building--including Levers.

nice.
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achamalacha

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #73 on: July 14, 2017, 11:46:42 am »

When you need to make a specific material/item from a reaction or for a mood quickly, one or more of the necessary reagents will not be available and theres nothing you can do about it.

Lemma:
x.1.1 There will be no caravan at the trading depot either.
x.1.2 If a caravan arrives, it doesn't provide for the specific material/item neede.
x.1.3 A caravan providing the specific material/item needed will arrive just after the mooding dwarf went full berserk
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Urist's Law -- The Inevitabilities of Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #74 on: July 14, 2017, 01:56:25 pm »

Pro-tip: Ctrl+Shift+N (in LNP) can rename any building--including Levers.

nice.

Oh my goodness. I didn't know. This is the best.
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