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Author Topic: Wands Race - [Arstotzka] {COMPLETED}  (Read 392707 times)

Chiefwaffles

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2625 on: May 28, 2017, 09:14:18 pm »

So would it be feasible to do basic explosive ammo as a revision? I'm not sure I get what you're implying, Evicted.

Actually, somewhat related to that little note, why don't we fix our AM shells? We can use our crystal/metal bonus on it and our former experience with it to fix both its price and reliability in one revision.
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Quote from: RAM
You should really look to the wilderness for your stealth ideas, it has been doing it much longer than you have after all. Take squids for example, that ink trick works pretty well, and in water too! So you just sneak into the dam upsteam, dump several megatons of distressed squid into it, then break the dam. Boom, you suddenly have enough water-proof stealth for a whole city!

evictedSaint

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2626 on: May 28, 2017, 09:18:23 pm »

It would need a design, but you'd get a bonus for having relevant tech.

Chiefwaffles

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2627 on: May 28, 2017, 09:36:06 pm »

Copied+pasted from earlier, with some modifications.
Design: SBP2 "Crystalclad"

The Crystalclad is a marvel of Arstotzkan engineering, making use of many of our innovations to this day in order to create the most fearsome ship on the sea.

The entire ship is made out of crystal straight from the Crystalworks. Earlier designs had a inner skeleton made out of wood or steel, but as we have plentiful strong lasting crystal, there's no point to weaken the ship with unnecessary materials. The crystal hull makes the ship nearly impervious to any known form of Moskurg weaponry. Crystal is unimpacted by fire bombs, and ballista bolts will largely just scratch the surface. In the rare event of critical damage, any old battery apprentice can simply summon bits of crystal to fix the damage. The summoned crystal may require maintenance and won't be as strong as the rest of the uniform hull, but it allows easy field repairs on our ships until they get to port.

The ship has two decks - one inside and one outside. The upper deck is sparsely visited by crew, and is largely used only by sentries and for loading/unloading cargo and people onto the ship at port. The inner deck is where the cargo is stored, the ship is run, the crew lives, the steam engines reside, etc. etc.. This further increases the protectiveness of the new crystal hull - fire may still be particularly damaging to humans even if it doesn't damage the ship, but keeping the crew inside the ship protects them from Moskurger attacks.

Between the middle and back of the inner deck resides the "weapons bay". The weapons bay is slightly raised upwards to the rest of the main deck, and has an opening bay door at the top allowing for fitting in new weapons and firing outwards from. The weapons bay has configurable mounts for weapons. The goal is to fit an armament of three HC1-Es or one HA1 here. Cannons and artillery fire outward from the weapons bay which can be closed as needed. The majority of Crystalclads will be holding HC1-Es for closer-combat, but a decent amount will be delegated artillery ships using HA1s to support the rest. While we have the goal of 3x HC1-Es or 1x HA1, our mathemagicians are hoping to fit as many cannons as possible on the ship without sacrificing integrity.
Armaments can be changed on a whim, as it's just a matter of moving the artillery in and out of an opened weapons bay at port.

Two steam engines inside the inner deck power the Crystalclad. These steam engines are different from the extraordinarily heavy ones found in the Fog-O-War. Our mathemagicians have spent some degree of effort  in order to make the Crystalclad's engines out of largely crystal. These new crystal steam engines are exponentially lighter than their predecessors and take advantage of our cheap machine crystal to make the engines even cheaper. As a result of this decrease in steam engine weight and other factors such as the light Crystal hull, the Crystalclad should be as fast if not faster than a Fog-O-War.
Some people have raised concerns over microfractures from the repeated heating of the steam engine, but those concerns have been dismissed. It would take years of constant use to even approach semi-unreliable levels, and even then, the problem would just result in a crack, rendering the engine inoperable until fixed. But that doesn't matter because as it happens, our ships receive maintenance much more frequently than once ever few years.

Also inside the inner deck is the Battery, where an array of AA/A-sized Magegems (depending on what goes with the Crystalclad's expense the most) are housed then connected to the steam engines, weapons, and anything else needing power by insulated crystal conduits. Without a mage on board, a fully-charged Crystalclad has a very long operational life - our steam engines are quite efficient as the power simply goes to maintaining enchantments. However, the use of weapons provokes a noticeable drain on the battery. Without a mage, a Crystalclad can still serve as an excellent transport and provide limited fire support, but mage-less Crystalclads aren't intended since with our plentiful apprentices every ship should have a mage. With a mage, the battery allows them to only focus on charging the battery instead of having to run between operating every individual cannon and the steam engines, and when the ship is charged, use their own spells on the upper deck.
The battery also has the ability to charge individual magegems, in case that ever becomes a factor.

TL;DR
Large
The Crystalclad is significantly larger than a Fog-O-War, but not by a huge degree. This isn't the equivalent of trying to make a carrier from a schooner, and I definitely feel as the main "challenge" it should be fine to handle. The size increase is to fit the new armament + steam engines without sacrificing integrity like the small Fog-O-War did.

Crystal Hull
The hull is made entirely out of Crystalworks crystal. This confers extreme armor capabilities. Because of the Crystalworks, we don't have to worry about maintenance or dispelling. We also can get an Expense credit for this because of the Crystalworks. Thanks to the Crystalworks, this is probably the easiest task and even benefits us (automatic expense credit) for doing it.
Also, the hull is made so the crew and weapons go inside and are protected from Moskurger firepower. Weapons fire out of a vertical "weapons bay" door.

Armament
As many HC1-Es as we can fit on the ship without hurting integrity or HA1(s) + HC1-Es to fill the rest of the weight capacity. My goal is 3x HC1-E or 1x HA1 but anything more than that would be appreciated. HA1s are Expensive, meaning it won't be a problem fitting them on our ships, and HC1-Es are cheap, meaning we can use as much as them as we want.

Two Lighter+Cheaper (Crystal) Steam Engines
The Fog-O-War uses two steam engines and suffers for it - its speed and integrity are much lower than they could be because of the extreme weight of the steam engines. The Crystalclad uses the same number of steam engines, but makes them lighter as well. This should ideally keep the speed the same as (if not better than) the Fog-O-War due to the lower weight. This is done using crystal, meaning the engines are more durable, cheaper, and much lighter. Our expense bonus from the Crystalworks should mean these engines will become Cheap.

Magegem Battery
This means we don't have to have a ton of apprentices on board to operate each cannon and individually monitor the steam engines. The Magegem Battery supplies power to the rest of the ship via crystal conduits (which we did in Crystalworks) meaning we have one centralized place for mages to handle. It even lets our ships move about without mages (energy-efficient steam engines)! Basically, this means we can just have one battery apprentice/mage down in the boiler room Magegem Battery providing power to the whole ship, and when it's charged, help out in battles with their spells.

Expense
Worst case scenario, we get Very Expensive. (Thanks to Crystalworks). Expensive is a possibility and I hope to get it, but even at Very Expensive it's a huge bonus to our fleet. Especially considering at Very Expensive it'd still replace our fleet. The new nickel circuits make our lives easier too. The slightly lighter weapons + engines also help. When this design was first posted we still had Very Expensive HA1s + Expensive HC1-Es and steam engines still used gold circuits, but now we have the easy-to-make nickel circuits. The components in the Crystalclad are surprisingly cheap, really. Cheap crystal, cheap weapons, (probably) cheap engines, cheap circuits...

TL;DR TL;DR: A brand-new extremely durable ship with heavy firepower. It has a lot of stuff compared to a Fog-O-War, but almost all of this stuff is simply new application of existing technology. The Crystalclad is about half of my reason for pushing Magegems and Crystalworks so hard.
-Large (not huge, though.) (A step up from our current ships but we're not trying to make any huge advancements here)

I decided to go with an all-crystal hull because:
1.) Wood skeleton would be too much of a weak link - it'd be like if you made concrete supports and everything else steel on a skyscraper.
2.) Metal is heavy and still inferior to crystal. Our crystal gets an expense credit, is much lighter, and is stronger. There's no reason to use metal anywhere instead of crystal.

Reasons why we should pursue the Crystalclad:
1.) Their ships aren't invulnerable to our cannons. More cannons = better chances of good shots = more destroyed Moskurger ships.
2.) Our armor is probably better than theirs (just based off of how long we've spent developing this kind of stuff) and needs to reflect less. We just have to protect against firebombs (indoor crew+weapons) and ballista bolts (crystal armor). I doubt a ballista bolt, enchanted or not, can get through armor harder than steel.
3.) We have the Crystalworks helping in expense. (Also expense credit)
4.) We can field HA1s which should have more power in their shots which is exactly what we need. HA1s have had the problem of small AoE effects before but small concentrated+intense impact sites is exactly what would help us at sea.
5.) We can revise armor-piercing shells this turn to go with all our artillery, allowing us to beat their ships and future armor. When we do develop magical/explosive shells, we could even combine them with the AP shells to make explosive piercing shells! Pierce armor then explode!

Basically, our weapons can still get through their armor, just not at great rates. With crystal armoring on our ships, we should be able to perform better against their ballistae than their armor performs against our shells. Then we have things like the HA1s, etc.

Quote
1 - Crystalclad: Chiefwaffles
1 - Explosive Ammunition: Andres
1 - Rod To God: RAM
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I don't think explosive ammunition is a bad idea, I just prefer Crystalclads at this point.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2017, 12:47:01 am by Chiefwaffles »
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Quote from: RAM
You should really look to the wilderness for your stealth ideas, it has been doing it much longer than you have after all. Take squids for example, that ink trick works pretty well, and in water too! So you just sneak into the dam upsteam, dump several megatons of distressed squid into it, then break the dam. Boom, you suddenly have enough water-proof stealth for a whole city!

VoidSlayer

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2628 on: May 28, 2017, 09:40:10 pm »

Nickle-Crystal Timed Fireball Cannonballs

The basic cannon ball is replaced with one composed almost entirely of the new crystal.  Inside it has a nickle circuit that creates a fireball effect when activated and is empowered by a Magegem Battery before launch.

The nickel circuit loops around the cannon ball and as long as the circuit is complete the fireball effect will be dormant.  However once energy is put into the system a second circuit begins sniping off the end of the loop, one small piece every second.  When the fuse is gone the loop is broken and all the magical energy is sucked into the fireball circuit which activates.

The length of this "fuse" can be set by the operator before hand in a removable portion of the cannon ball.  It is inert until the mage gem actually activates the whole circuit complex.

If the loop is damaged by the cannon ball hitting the ground there is also a good chance of the fireball circuit going off.

Andres

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2629 on: May 28, 2017, 10:03:28 pm »

I don't think explosive ammunition is a bad idea, I just prefer Crystalclads at this point.
But they would be useless. Read the last report again; we cannot damage their ships. Rule 1 for our ships is that they need to kill enemy ships. It doesn't matter how fast or how well defended our ships are, if they cannot kill the enemy ships, they are worthless. It's fine that you like the idea of crystalclads more, but it's wrong to vote for the design on the basis that it'll do more for us on sea than explosive ammunition, because that notion is a false one.

Glory to Arstotzka.
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Chiefwaffles

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2630 on: May 28, 2017, 10:09:07 pm »

This year, Moskurg rolls out a new, powerful variant of their ships - named the "Sirocco".  Made of what wood is left in the jungle, the Sirocco has a hardened hull clad in an unnatural, glowing white metal.  These ships are just as fast as Arstotzka's steam ships, and the hull can survive all but the most close-range, carefully-aimed shots from their powerful steam cannons.  This, combined with their air superiority, means they are able to beat Arstotzka back a section in the sea in the Eastern coast. 

It is a much closer battle in the Western sea, though - Myark is seen standing aboard one of their lead ships, hurling fireballs and firing off cannons with each hand.  His falcon single-handedly takes down a flight of carpet bombers, but the real advantage comes from his Wand of True Light - once battles start, it's difficult for Moskurg sailors to stand and fight.  They flee more often than not, but even these brief skirmishes go in their favor.  They're just as fast as steam ships, and unless the shot hits square cannon rounds will deflect off their armor.  Meanwhile, Moskurg ballistas have no problem setting Arstotzkan ships alight, which inevitably sends them to the bottom of the ocean.  It's close - very close - but ultimately Arstotzka loses more ships than Moskurg thanks to their new armor and fast hulls.

Like I said, our cannons just aren't as effective. They still work to some degree, but our ships are destroyed by things like fire before they can do enough damage. With crystal plating, we'd be 100% fireproof and likely more resistant to their shells than their bolts are to crystal armor. Their main advantage at sea has been fire ammunition which is completely voided by the Crystalclad. We also have more firepower meaning damaging/destroying shots happen much more often, and the HA1 which I believe hits much harder than a HC1-E (at the cost of AoE which we don't really need.)

Also, again, armor-piercing shells revision. Explosives by themselves aren't necessarily great at piercing armor. If we make our shells heavier and/or change their shape or make other minor modifications to facilitate armor piercing this revision, they could go through armor much easier and continue being useful even if Moskurg upgrades the armor.
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Quote from: RAM
You should really look to the wilderness for your stealth ideas, it has been doing it much longer than you have after all. Take squids for example, that ink trick works pretty well, and in water too! So you just sneak into the dam upsteam, dump several megatons of distressed squid into it, then break the dam. Boom, you suddenly have enough water-proof stealth for a whole city!

Andres

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2631 on: May 28, 2017, 10:24:29 pm »

Like I said, our cannons just aren't as effective. They still work to some degree, but our ships are destroyed by things like fire before they can do enough damage. With crystal plating, we'd be 100% fireproof and likely more resistant to their shells than their bolts are to crystal armor. Their main advantage at sea has been fire ammunition which is completely voided by the Crystalclad. We also have more firepower meaning damaging/destroying shots happen much more often, and the HA1 which I believe hits much harder than a HC1-E (at the cost of AoE which we don't really need.)

Also, again, armor-piercing shells revision. Explosives by themselves aren't necessarily great at piercing armor. If we make our shells heavier and/or change their shape or make other minor modifications to facilitate armor piercing this revision, they could go through armor much easier and continue being useful even if Moskurg upgrades the armor.
Fine. With the AP Revision I guess it can work. I'm still going to vote for explosive ammunition because that has major use in our ground battles, not just on sea.

That said, I'm willing to vote for crystalclads if you agree to use the Expense Credit on our frost towers. I'm voting for EA because it'll help on the ground, but if we're doing something else to help on the ground, then I'd be fine not voting for it. More frost towers would also help facilitate further advances into the Desert.

Glory to Arstotzka.
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Chiefwaffles

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2632 on: May 28, 2017, 10:53:22 pm »

I do want to do explosive shells next turn for sure. As for the expense credit, I'm not sure. Apparently, Very Expensive (which is actually the max expense level for the Crystalclad) is the standard for boats meaning that no matter what happens and barring spontaneous rule changes, the Crystalclad will be able to replace our entire navy.
But with that being said, I'm still unsure about the expense credit. I kind of want just Expensive Crystalclads or to save the Expense Credit for some devastating new design. But with that being said, I'm definitely extremely open to voting on using it for cheaper frost towers.


Also, I just noticed that the SPB1 Fog-O-War has two steam engines. I'm changing the Crystalclad's count to four engines in total. Considering the engines are just Expensive, it shouldn't be a problem. And if a Fog-O-War can handle two engines then the Crystalclad should be able to handle four.



Miscellaneous design for the future. Could let our troops get into close-range, but we'd need to do some other stuff beforehand - namely make sure Magegem/Circuit magitech can work in antimagic. We haven't actually tested this stuff yet, but I'm somewhat hopeful considering the divine aspect of their antimagic. It may remove a person's ability to cast magic, but does it actually stop all magic like our anti-magic charms? (The answer is "probably". But I'm hopeful!)
Future Design: APC1 "Pursuer"

We've been having a mild survivability issue with our troops. That is to say, our soldiers tend to not last past the first charge. Personal armor is questionable, as ballistae and artillery strikes tend to ignore armor like that.
So what if we built a vehicle to carry our troops across the ground? We already use steam engines to move our Fog-O-Wars and hopefully the Crystalclad, so why not do the same thing on land?

The APC1 Pursuer is a realization of that concept. We start by building, well, a large """wagon""". A vehicle big enough to carry roughly 8 troops, including the driver. A steam engine placed in the center of the vehicle powered by a small series of AA magegems runs the wheels while a driver in the front looks through small (opening/closing) window slots to see where he's headed. A two-pronged handle in the front allows the driver to manipulate the orientation of the front wheels from inside, and a small magical circuit allows him to control the power of the steam engine by moving an AAA magegem around to control the input from magegems to the engine. The vehicle hopefully moves forward at roughly the pace of [15 miles an hour].
Behind the driver is seating and "buckles" to safely secure the passengers. The passengers' seating is placed along the walls. A large door is placed on the back which opens up/down to become a ramp for our soldiers to depart from under cover from the vehicle. The interior is notably cramped, with soldiers' knees almost touching the steam engine and there being just enough room for all the needed equipment.

The operational time of an APC1 Pursuer on a full Magegem charge is quite long - roughly 12 hours of constant driving at a recommended pace. This is because it only utilizes steam engines, which can already run by themselves without a magegem for quite a while. Adding magegems massively increases the lifetime of the engine on a charge.

The vehicle is built out of solid crystal, making it nearly if not entirely impervious to Moskurger ballistae bolts and firebombs. The APC1 Pursuer can bring our troops to the front lines safe from Moskurger ballistae and air attacks. It can be used for evacuations, allowing our troops to quickly get in and outpace a marching enemy and out-fatigue running enemies. Our troops will be safe and sound in this vehicle.
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Quote from: RAM
You should really look to the wilderness for your stealth ideas, it has been doing it much longer than you have after all. Take squids for example, that ink trick works pretty well, and in water too! So you just sneak into the dam upsteam, dump several megatons of distressed squid into it, then break the dam. Boom, you suddenly have enough water-proof stealth for a whole city!

Andres

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2633 on: May 28, 2017, 11:17:37 pm »

I do want to do explosive shells next turn for sure. As for the expense credit, I'm not sure. Apparently, Very Expensive (which is actually the max expense level for the Crystalclad) is the standard for boats meaning that no matter what happens and barring spontaneous rule changes, the Crystalclad will be able to replace our entire navy.
But with that being said, I'm still unsure about the expense credit. I kind of want just Expensive Crystalclads or to save the Expense Credit for some devastating new design. But with that being said, I'm definitely extremely open to voting on using it for cheaper frost towers.
The Crystalclad will in all likelihood be replaced by a later design eventually, one that's faster, bigger, better armoured, and with more guns. Our frost towers are forever. It would a bit of a waste to use the Expense credit on the Crystalclads since we'll inevitably design a ship that'll obsolete it. Cheaper Crystalclads will be useful until that time until they're replaced, but so would cheaper frost towers, and they'll continue to be useful after the Crystalclads are replaced.

Also, I would like to note that making the Tower of Forever Frost didn't double its coverage, it tripled it. Making the minor frost towers might not reduce the temperature of affected regions by 1, but instead by 3. I'd say that's pretty devastating.

Also, I just noticed that the SPB1 Fog-O-War has two steam engines. I'm changing the Crystalclad's count to four engines in total. Considering the engines are just Expensive, it shouldn't be a problem. And if a Fog-O-War can handle two engines then the Crystalclad should be able to handle four.
Our steam engines are ludicrously heavy. Adding more steam engines could easily cause problems in regards to the ship's weight. Instead of giving it four engines, include making our current engines lighter in the design. The lighter weight will let our ships move faster and will get us one step closer to making landships.

Glory to Arstotzka.
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Chiefwaffles

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2634 on: May 28, 2017, 11:25:17 pm »

Yeah sure. I'll vote for Frost Towers with the expense credit.

As for the steam engines, I'm a bit iffy on that. I know we're not really doing much new on it, but the Crystalclad just seems like a penalty magnet in all honesty. While I'm pretty confident in it now, it feels like including something such as cheaper steam engines would hurt the design because it's unrelated. Maybe we can do three?
Also, Evicted, how light is our crystal anyways? We know for certain it's a notably light metal, and the description for the Crystal Long Axes design mentions "lighter than a feather". This is probably hyperbole but it obviously means crystal isn't just "notably lighter than iron".
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Quote from: RAM
You should really look to the wilderness for your stealth ideas, it has been doing it much longer than you have after all. Take squids for example, that ink trick works pretty well, and in water too! So you just sneak into the dam upsteam, dump several megatons of distressed squid into it, then break the dam. Boom, you suddenly have enough water-proof stealth for a whole city!

Andres

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2635 on: May 28, 2017, 11:31:34 pm »

As for the steam engines, I'm a bit iffy on that. I know we're not really doing much new on it, but the Crystalclad just seems like a penalty magnet in all honesty. While I'm pretty confident in it now, it feels like including something such as cheaper steam engines would hurt the design because it's unrelated. Maybe we can do three?
It's possible to make a new design and advance several things forward as part of it, especially something like a lighter engine which is Revision-level stuff. ((Examples include tanks in Arms Race, where it's perfectly normal to upgrade a tank's armour and engine in the same Design phase.))

The design would boil down to these four things:
Magegem Battery - uses existing technology in a new way
Crystal Hull - uses existing technology in a new, simple way
New hull - basic upgrade
Lighter engines - Revision-tier upgrade

It's not a penalty magnet at all.

Glory to Arstotzka.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2017, 11:42:12 pm by Andres »
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Chiefwaffles

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2636 on: May 28, 2017, 11:41:11 pm »

By "penalty magnet", I mean it's just a design where I can see the GM being tempted to penalize it. It may not be doing much new, but it is doing a lot of things.
But sure, I'll change it to two lighter engines. But if something goes wrong with it regardless of rolls, it shall be entirely your fault and it shall be fact that it was you that doomed the Crystalclad. All your fault.

EDIT: Fluff for lighter steam engines - they're made out of lighter metals and the design has been optimized a bit to allow for the same amount of work to be done with less things, and thus less weight.

EDIT2: Wait, did we ever use our metal bonus on steam engines?
« Last Edit: May 28, 2017, 11:45:12 pm by Chiefwaffles »
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Quote from: RAM
You should really look to the wilderness for your stealth ideas, it has been doing it much longer than you have after all. Take squids for example, that ink trick works pretty well, and in water too! So you just sneak into the dam upsteam, dump several megatons of distressed squid into it, then break the dam. Boom, you suddenly have enough water-proof stealth for a whole city!

Andres

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2637 on: May 28, 2017, 11:43:25 pm »

Quote
2 - Crystalclad: Chiefwaffles, Andres
1 - Rod To God: RAM
0 Ragnarok Rounds
0 Metaconjuration
0 Vine Mine
0 Antiluck wards

Future Design: AS-MDF. This fireball, based on the Powerful Streamlined Fireball, the Missile Defence Fireball is shot into the air where it will hang for a period of up to 5 minutes. During this time, it will detect incoming missiles and shoot small fragments of itself to individually destroy each of them.

This should make their arrows and ballistas obsolete and it's using a spell we are well acquainted with. It doesn't matter if they have Lucky Shot because it doesn't matter how accurate their missiles are, our MDFs will shoot them down before they hit their targets, even if their targets are the MDFs themselves.

Glory to Arstotzka.
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Andres

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2638 on: May 28, 2017, 11:49:27 pm »

Sorry for double post, but this is important and I don't want Chiefwaffles to overlook this or miss this.

Chiefwaffles, why don't you make the steam engines out of crystal? It's as tough as steel, feather-light, and our crystalworks means it'll be one tier cheaper than it would otherwise be. Just redoing our current steam engine with the stuff will make it a hell of a lot lighter and cheaper.

Glory to Arstotzka.
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Chiefwaffles

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Re: Wands Race - [Arstotzka]
« Reply #2639 on: May 28, 2017, 11:53:04 pm »

Thought about it, but crystal does have that heat fracturing problem we discovered earlier. And while it was just minor fractures before, steam engines do tend to get quite hot and it feels like it'd build up over time.
And we do have the Mountains metal bonus too. So revising it in crystal or metal will get the auto expense credit.
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Quote from: RAM
You should really look to the wilderness for your stealth ideas, it has been doing it much longer than you have after all. Take squids for example, that ink trick works pretty well, and in water too! So you just sneak into the dam upsteam, dump several megatons of distressed squid into it, then break the dam. Boom, you suddenly have enough water-proof stealth for a whole city!
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