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[Kilojoule Proton]

Agent Bill Billson makes friendly contact with the aliens, offering to be part of their fifth column. They agree and shake hands very slimily. [Beauty: 6+0] It appears the slime, while disgusting to humans, is an expensive attractant for the aliens.

Aigre the Amorous tells Donald Trump that beauty is divinity and that he must gather more divine things and re-enact the Judgment of Paris. Donald dazedly agrees, stunned by Aigre's beauty. [Beauty: 3+2]

Aigre leaves to preach Free Love to the hippies. [Beauty: 6+2] Frenzied by Aigre's inspiring sermon, they frolic into the nearest town, dancing with anything not nailed down like a troop of maenads!

[NRDL]

TIL that "fifth column" is an actual term for inside agent/traitor.  Nice.

Find every other alien watcher/conspiracy theorist/stargazer in the immediate area and PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE. That way no one can give an advance warning about the aliens' approach.

What are the aliens actually called?

[Aigre Excalibur]

We have made contact already?

Having found beauty, we offer the aliens virgin sacrifice as a token of the everylasting bonds between us. Said gifts must be of perfect breeding stock, a perfect combination of brains and bosoms. I.E. winners of our miss universe contests.

Instigate the civil rights movement among the hippies. Everyone deserves to be loved, regardless of color or species.

[Dustan Hache]

continue working out till I get Ripped, then start working on getting a better spellbook.

[Shadowclaw777]

Now lets hack into the USA Espionage Network so that I can prioritize the locations of all their current spies, for personal use...
-Use the money siphoned of them to invest and construct large warehouse in the middle of Australia
-Also buy a silencer sniper rifle of the black market

[Starver]

I think that taking multiple film scripts, riffle-shuffling then redividing them would be a useful task, but it looks like we already have free reign on that, now...

On an unexpected roll, extend contacts to interfere with the other entertainment industries, including television scripts.
(Let's get Las Vegas and New York in on this, and span the nation.)

If I have time, play golf with members of the US Air Force, so as to extend the reach overseas.

[ziizo]

use music to Communicate with the natives and express your desire to meet their leader Santa Claus.

[ziizo]

A storm broke something and the zone where I live will be without electricity for a unknown time feel free to skip me or killing my character if I cannot post in time

[OceanSoul]

..If this reality cannot handle Perplexicon magic, then do the words even DO anything?

[Kilojoule Proton]

Agent Bill Billson roams about, punching every alien watcher, conspiracy theorist, and stargazer nearby IN THE FACE! When they recover, they recall nothing of today's strange events. [Buff: 4+2] Billson, however, remembers everything, including the fact that the aliens called themselves ☟︎◆︎❍︎♋︎■︎⬧︎. [Brain: 5-2]

Aigre filters through the Miss Universe winners and makes a virgin sacrifice to the aliens as a sign of friendship. [Blitz: 3+2] The aliens, while somewhat put off by this heinous act, appreciate the gesture, and some are amenable to helping the agency out personally. Aigre then instigates a civil rights movement among the hippies, enlightening them somewhat. [Brain: 3+0]

☟︎◆︎❍︎♋︎■︎⬧︎ unlocked!

Eric Erickson continues working out and feels very fit! [Buff: 5+0] Erickson also manages to snag a nice spellbook of necromancy, and a dozen zombies have begun following Erickson around! [Blitz: 4+2]

The Infiltrator hacks into the USA espionage network, but only finds a limited number of spies due to their compartmentalization. [Brain: 1+2] Possibly preparing for a massive heist, the Infiltrator has ordered an immense warehouse in the middle of Australia with the stolen money; by an error on the builders' part, there are not one but seven warehouses! [Brain: 5+2]

The Infiltrator has also bought an unrealistically silent sniper rifle from the black market. [Blitz: 3+2]

Agent E.B. Guvegrra brings in a few more contacts for the entertainment-subversion plot, accumulating a long list of people to intimidate to control television, at least a few of which should be executives. [Beauty: 4-1] Guvegrra also takes some time to play golf with the US Air Force, greatly impressing them! [Blitz: 6+1] Surely they are wrapped around our dear agent's finger now....

Oziiz successfully communicates a desire to meet the elves' leader Santa Claus through music and drops off the squad's radar as Oziiz and the elves enter a hidden tunnel. [Beauty: 2+2]

Agent B.F. Udelle ponders whether Perplexicon words can even do anything in this coarsely built reality and concludes that it is probable that at least some subset of Perplexicon words work.

[OceanSoul]

Figure out the subset!

[NRDL]

Gotta admit, I put the word through a wingding translator. Interesting.

Find a government official who can tell me the location of the USA's nuclear missile stockpiles, and then punch him in the face until he talks.

[TheBiggerFish]

Oooo.

[Aigre Excalibur]

We shall make straight the way of our alien saviors.

With the help of some of the brighter supermodels from Trump's beauty pagents, we will found the Church of Scientology and begin to condition people to revere the aliens as gods and messiahs.

[ziizo]

Try to learn the elves language in the way.