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[Kilojoule Proton]

Shady Conspiracy Squad

It is January 1960 and every silly thing a conspiracy theorist has ever said (but only the silly parts, because the not-so-silly parts would make people mad) is a bit true or will be true. Rogue masons run around building random walls on people's yards for free. New York has a crocodile community in its sewers. Aliens take people out for dinner and stuff. You are the agents of a shady conspiracy and the world must be made stranger so you can control it and plaster your logo everywhere or something (the ancient texts were a bit unclear on that part). You will live. You will die. A lot. And you will make the world a stranger place.

Attributes go from -2 to +2. You get to touch 3 and have a total of +2.
Buff: E.g. punching, kicking, tanking
Blitz: E.g. running, spotting, aiming
Brain: E.g. research, hacking, connecting dots
Beauty: E.g. writing, speaking, disguise

Recruitable races:
   Humans: 0 0 0 0
   ☟︎◆︎❍︎♋︎■︎⬧︎: -1 +1 +1 -1
   Zombies: +2 0 -1 -1
   "Zombies:" +1 0 0 -1

Dice:
<1   Terrible, terrible failure!
1   Massive failure!
2   Failure
3   Bad success
4   Success
5   Good success
6   Excessive success!
>6   Terrible, terrible success!

[Shadowclaw777]

Agent [Infiltrator of Society] Reporting In!(Current Identification: Human)
Buff: -2
Blitz: +2
Brains: +2
Beauty: +0

[OceanSoul]

(30? Really? Doubt anyone can handle that)
Agent B.F. Udelle, reporting!
Buff: -1
Blitz: +1
Brain: +2
Beauty: 0

[ziizo]

Agent: Oziiz (secretly Ziizo)

Buff: +0
Blitz: -2
Brains: +2
Beauty: +2

[ATHATH]

Name: Gerald
Race: Totally a human, fellow humans with whom I share a species with, honest.
Buff: -2
Blitz: 0
Brains: +2
Beauty: +2

[NRDL]

Name: Agent Bill Billson

Buff: +2
Blitz: 0
Brains: -2
Beauty: 0

[Aigre Excalibur]

Name: Agent Aigre the Amorous
Buff: +0
Blitz: +0
Brains: +0
Beauty: +2

[Starver]

Call me a fool, but I think you need some muscle.  Probably.  Or you can drag me round as a mascot, if not.

Name: Agent E.B. Guvegrra
Buff: +2
Blitz: +1 (somewhat useful with it)
Brains: ±0 (and not dumb muscle)
Beauty: -1 (just a little bit... inelegant and inarticulate)

[Kilojoule Proton]

January, 1960

A shadowy cabal of seven conspirators comes together for the first meeting of the Shady Conspiracy Squad! Notable events since December 1, 1959 include...

...Argentina, Australia, Belgium, Chile, France, Japan, New Zealand, Norway, South Africa, the USSR, the UK, and the USA sign a suspicious treaty closing Antarctica to science and establishing equal military presences there

...Santa is spotted by millions. Our agents receive assorted toys strange trinkets.

What did they get? What will they do? Who knows!


Agents

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: [Infiltrator of Society] (Human?)
Buff: -2
Blitz: +2
Brains: +2
Beauty: +0

Name: Agent B.F. Udelle (Human)
Buff: -1
Blitz: +1
Brain: +2
Beauty: 0

Name: Agent Oziiz (Human)
Buff: +0
Blitz: -2
Brains: +2
Beauty: +2

Name: Gerald (Human?)
Buff: -2
Blitz: 0
Brains: +2
Beauty: +2

Name: Agent Bill Billson (Human)
Buff: +2
Blitz: 0
Brains: -2
Beauty: 0

Name: Agent Aigre the Amorous (Human)
Buff: +0
Blitz: +0
Brains: +0
Beauty: +2

Name: Agent E.B. Guvegrra (Human)
Buff: +2
Blitz: +1 (somewhat useful with it)
Brains: ±0 (and not dumb muscle)
Beauty: -1 (just a little bit... inelegant and inarticulate)

[OceanSoul]

What trinket did I get?

[Kilojoule Proton]

((You decide! Do note that some downscaling may be applied for excessively wild (e.g. Death Star-level trinkets))

[OceanSoul]

In that case, a Perplexicon.

[NRDL]

Alright, I get a telepathy cancelling tinfoil helmet.

What are we meant to do from here on in?

[crazyabe]

PTW

[Kilojoule Proton]

Agent B.F. Udelle receives a Perplexicon of unspecified edition!

Agent Bill Billson is sporting a telepathy canceling tinfoil helmet!

((Collect aliens, work on filming "Jupiter landings," make a nice logo and spam it everywhere, attempt world domination, resuscitate Elvis and travel the world, &c.))