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[Urist McClown]

I started a new small 250-year world in 0.43.05 with PE's new beta pack. After looking through Legends, I noticed a few peculiarities about the largest human civilization, the Kingdom of Cheese. I hope you enjoy.

Ipsug (also known as Stringtired) is the oldest city and capital of the Kingdom of Cheese, no matter what the dirty dwellers of the hamlet of Galirceru (or Weaverbottles) might say. In the first few years, the Ipsugians built a marketplace, the temple complex called Mysterious Convent, the Palace of Bending and the dungeon Fightscars. The power was shared between the First Guise, Rakel Hopgrasp, and Lord Zuso I Bridledaged, a bard. Cemir Matchraces, a despicable criminal from Galirceru, moved into Fightscars and controlled the Ipsugian underworld - and he should turn out to be the most important of these three, in spite of his early death.

In the third winter, the cyclops Thad Minedgleams the Untamed Boulders attacked Ipsug. Rakel, Zuso and Cemir all fought him, but only Rakel (and indeed, Thad) came away from this fight alive. Rakel tried to establish the belief in the Otir, the vengeful, fiery sun, as a basis for his grab for power, but the Ipsugians and Galirceruans resisted him and after a power struggle lasting the better part of a year, the widowed Galirceruan bard Bestra Springsfrenzied rode to power as queen Bestra I, taking residence in the Palace of Bending. It was rumored her husband had been a criminal, perhaps even the notorious Cemir Matchraces, but nevertheless, her rule remained unchallenged. Under her reign falls the foundation of the city of Onostulo (or Testentranced) by Bestras firstborn daughter Mothror Noblefight, who subsequently assumed the sacred position of High Subtlety. She also introduced the Celebration of Fire, the most important festival of the Kingdom of Cheese, in whose foot race she participated every year of her life, together with her two daughters. When she died in the 28th year of her rule, aged only 61, she was entombed in the Crypts of Allying at Quihuwumu (Sloppedpadded), while her second-born daughter and general Noloc I succeeded her as queen.

Noloc Fealtyscrapes' rule has to be considered unlucky, though. While under her rule, the cities of Munoshuthret (Pumpkinwhips) and Spibsakas (Tanglecontrols) were established and the kingdom continued to grow, her decisions ultimately doomed her dynasty. She married the mercenary Ospram Bolttwinkle and, upon her ascension to the throne, made him the War Leader of her people. The marriage was hapy, and the two had nine children together. Noloc, however, was a cruel and impious woman who increasingly envied the elves for their immortality until she could only feel hatred for them. Even worse, her brother-in-law, Stredac Riftmysteries, a poet from Galirceru, had gone to the elven kingdom and regularly popularised songs and poems ridiculing Noloc. And so, in the seventh summer of his wife's rule, Ospram reluctantly led 75 fighters into the Contested Field. Only 30 of them should return, while the rest perished under the elvish hail of arrows. As a result, Noloc became increasingly reclusive, only participating in the festivities of the Celebration of Fire once after, pouting in the Palace of Bending and pondering ways to attain immortality. Soon, she had hatched a cunning plan, or so she thought. One summer day in the eleventh year of her rule, she stormed the Mysterious Covenant and profaned the statue of Otis. And Otis, vengeful as he had always been, came down from his fiery mountain and cursed Noloc for her disbelief, changing her into a lizard who can't do anything without the warmth of the sun. Noloc fled from Ipsug and burrowed in Ebroanu (The Squat Night) from where she would continue to harrass her people until this day. And so, the Springsfrenzied Dynasty ended.

To be continued.

[Urist McClown]

None of Nolocs children were chosen as her successor after her fall from grace. Instead, Stredac was returned from his elven exile with the Delightful Blossom and offered the throne. He added a wrestling competition to the Celebration of Fire which he repeatedly competed in. Usually, he won against his brother Ospram, who continued to serve as Stredac's War Leader for ten years until he was given the Lordship of Galirceru. Ospram's successor as War Leader was Boshkuc Royalskins, a young stone crafter from the countryside who should soon become the real power behind the throne, as Stredac was not too interested in anything besides the yearly Celebration of Fires, having left his wife Kastrol and his children back with the elves. Some even rumored that Boshkuc was Stredac's lover, but Boshkuc's loving relationship to his wife Suku Tonewhip, a granddaughter of Noloc, makes clear this is a false rumour. Never mind the option of bisexuality...

Boshkuc soon realized the goblins were the biggest threat to the Kingdom of Cheeses. They had abducted numerous children and were growing ever larger in numbers. So in a display of strength, he marched the human troops directly to Utesspamo (Spiderdip) and sieged the Dark Fortress. He almost succeeded in storming the castle, killing all but one defender - but when his wife Suku was slaughtered, he ordered to retreat and returned to Igsup in mourning. His main goal, the weakening of the goblins, had been achieved anyway.

Twelve years later, Boshkuc's attention had turned to the elves of the Ambiguous Clearing. He still feared the goblins more, but his failure at Utesspamo had made him weary of trying to attack them directly. Instead, he now favored containment. As he feared the goblins would soon take over the elven lands, he preempted their assault and attacked the elves himself. Over the course of eight years, fourteen battles were fought, ultimately resulting in the humans taking over all the elven settlements and establishing their dominance over the northern half of Zaludthur.

Over the next seven years, Stredac and Boshkuc began falling out. Stredac suspected Boshkuc of trying to overtake him, or trying to reinstate the Springsfrenzies dynasty on behalf of his descendants - not incorrectly, as would turn out, but what role the king's own paranoia played in the rift between him and his right-hand man is as yet unknown. Either way, in the 42nd year of Stredac's reign, Boshkuc was selected as the new First Guise. Immediately afterwards, Stredac left the Fellowship of Secrets, establishing his own cult which regarded Uso Owlnight, the goddess of storms and nightmares, as more powerful than Otis. In Uso's honor, Stredac build a new temple complex in Ipsug, called the Abbey of Mazes. Worship of Uso became compulsory. Meanwhile, a murder spree waged through Ipsug. Over the course of 22 years, over 400 Ipsugians were killed.

By the summer of the 61st year of Stredac's reign, people had started noticing that Boshkuc had not aged since assuming the position of First Guise. In spite of being 75 years old, he looked like he was 50. Subsequently, he fled to the countryside, living in several villages until he reached the hamlet of Mekapimra (Taperedposts) at the very edge of the Kingdom of Cheese. There, he rallied the people to the local Mead Hall and assumed lordship over them in the 80th year of Stredac's reign, trying to ride the wave of revolt against his former friend and now, enemy, Stredac. But Boshkuc was robbed of his revenge. At the end of the year, Stredac died of old age, having lived to 113, buried in the formerly elven city of Lolamaesleci (Blossomedtan). His youngest and only surviving son, Pobe I Neogrower, succeeded him.

Pobe was 81 when he ascended the throne, so many of his subjects concluded his reign wouldn't last long. There was some unrest from supporters of Boshkuc, but those proved to be ultimately unsuccessful. This was partly due to the fact that Pobe had named his great-granddaughter Itvid Stokerpleats as his War Leader and successor. Itvid was a popular hunter and combined in her both the claims of the Riftmysteries as well as the Springsfrenzies dynasty. In the twelveth year of his reign, Pobe died in his bed, aged 93. He was buried in the Muscular Grave of Quihuwumu. His youngest son, Ag, should go on to inherit the throne.

To be continued.

[Urist McClown]

Itvid never claimed the throne that many had assumed would be hers. Instead, her granduncle Ag I Slippedlizard succeeded Pobe I after a short power struggle. Itvid, however, remained as the War Leader and retained much of the power she would have wielded as a queen. Ag was quite reclusive, and according to those close to him, worried about dying early after having seen both his predecessors die in relatively short order. Soon, a new wave of murders washed over Ipsug. Over the course of twenty years, over 150 Ipsugians died to a serial killer. Meanwhile, Boshkuc was killed by his own subjects when they found out he was cursed by the gods. His granddaughter Luhmat Utteredhonor, famous and popular for killing many werebeasts however continued claiming the throne on behalf of the Springfrenzies' dynasty.

Ultimately, in the 38th year of his reign, Ag was confronted by the former Lady of Onustulo, Biqui Jokequickness, a famous mason and engraver. Ag ran, and was not seen again in Ipsug for many years. Biqui, who had never married and remained childless, was rumored to be blessed by the gods, as she had not aged since she had turned 40 and was, at this point, already 99 years old. Many expected her not to live much longer, so the warring factions of the Royalskins and the Riftmysteries agreed for her to ascend the throne until the succession was sorted out, with Itvid remaining as War Leader to ensure Biqui's good behavior. This turned out to be a huge mistake though, as it was the end of the power of both the Royalskins and the Riftmysteries: Biqui lives to this day, ruling over the Kingdom of Cheeses at the old age of 172, still looking like 40. She introduced a Sword Throwing contest to the Celebration of Fire, which she has won every time in the last 50 years. Her reign continues to be oppressive, with only hushed complaints among the populace.

Itvid, for some reason or another (some claim she was bewitched by Biqui) never resisted this power grab. She died, aged 101 years, and was buried in the Tombs of Tiring of Quihuwumu. The next War Leader was Kasmko Largemoons, a member of the Royalskins and descendant of Luhmat, which was the final step in Biqui shoring up the power. Her only remaining rival was Ag, who survives to this day, fleeing from one village to the next. For thirteen years, he tried organizing the resistance from the hamlet of Engdulini (Tricksuitors), but ultimately, he fled that place, too. It remains to be seen if he will manage to survive and perhaps even challenge Biqui for the throne, but at this point in time, this seems rather unlikely.

So, I hope you liked the epic story of the related dynastied of Springsfrenzied and Riftmysteries, of Boshkuc the councellor and ultimate vampiric traitor, and ultimately, of their downfall and the rise to power of the oldest and most vicious vampires of them all, Biqui. Comments are welcome!

[Killgoth]

I enjoyed it Thank you for taking the time to piece together and flesh out stuff from Legends and make a good story!

[snow dwarf]

Huh, I did enjoy it. Nice, story