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Author Topic: You are the Demon king  (Read 2286 times)

Gigabytebob

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #15 on: February 25, 2017, 11:32:39 pm »

Begin a campaign of extermination among the humans. Slaughter the warriors, send the weak to death camps where they will fuel further conquest with their labour and suffering.
a-a-are you sure about this sir the previous king tried to take over 1 mighty dwarven fortress known as vinefort and well that's why the throne was open to you sir   
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Gigabytebob

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2017, 11:38:51 pm »

Ehh, That is a bit obvious. Can't we instead make a sword that sacrifices its victims in order to summon a demon, then sponsor an underground tournament and offer it as a prize, and tell the demons to pretend to be subservient to the sword's wielder so long as they aren't ordered to do anything suicidal? It'd be kind of nice to set up a fake demon king who is just a greedy human and then launch our invasion while everyone is distracted...
I will get the 3 dwarf slaves to make this mighty blade and get a demon witch doctor to enchant it and i will track down the human gambler known as Ian Kilbib and make him fund this operation
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adamantine, the only material that can be honed to an edge so fine it can cut light, cleave steel like butter, and sever heads with the enthusiasm of a deranged bloodthirsty child.

Turn those goblinoid uglybolds into adorable cutebolds

Gigabytebob

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2017, 11:44:41 pm »

Ehh, That is a bit obvious. Can't we instead make a sword that sacrifices its victims in order to summon a demon, then sponsor an underground tournament and offer it as a prize, and tell the demons to pretend to be subservient to the sword's wielder so long as they aren't ordered to do anything suicidal? It'd be kind of nice to set up a fake demon king who is just a greedy human and then launch our invasion while everyone is distracted...
I will get the 3 dwarf slaves to make this mighty blade and get a demon witch doctor to enchant it and i will track down the human gambler known as Ian Kilbib and make him fund this operation
*1 month later* sir the operation was a success the winner caused more destruction than we hoped he tried to use the sword by faking a demon attack by secretly kill 3 people to spawn 3 demon then tried to kill them not knowing they would fight back the demons are still going from town to town burning all the inhabitants and the town they are at its 4th town     
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adamantine, the only material that can be honed to an edge so fine it can cut light, cleave steel like butter, and sever heads with the enthusiasm of a deranged bloodthirsty child.

Turn those goblinoid uglybolds into adorable cutebolds

Gigabytebob

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2017, 11:47:19 pm »

Ehh, That is a bit obvious. Can't we instead make a sword that sacrifices its victims in order to summon a demon, then sponsor an underground tournament and offer it as a prize, and tell the demons to pretend to be subservient to the sword's wielder so long as they aren't ordered to do anything suicidal? It'd be kind of nice to set up a fake demon king who is just a greedy human and then launch our invasion while everyone is distracted...
I will get the 3 dwarf slaves to make this mighty blade and get a demon witch doctor to enchant it and i will track down the human gambler known as Ian Kilbib and make him fund this operation
*1 month later* sir the operation was a success the winner caused more destruction than we hoped he tried to use the sword by faking a demon attack by secretly kill 3 people to spawn 3 demon then tried to kill them not knowing they would fight back the demons are still going from town to town burning all the inhabitants and the town they are at its 4th town     
sir i have bad news the demons were slayed by the town guard of Isilfrid
« Last Edit: February 26, 2017, 12:48:14 am by Gigabytebob »
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adamantine, the only material that can be honed to an edge so fine it can cut light, cleave steel like butter, and sever heads with the enthusiasm of a deranged bloodthirsty child.

Turn those goblinoid uglybolds into adorable cutebolds

RAM

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2017, 02:10:14 am »

Declare the people of Isilfrid to be war criminals who murdered demonic civilians. They have been given a fair trial in-absentia and modestly sentenced to be flayed, unflayed, then burned alive using rusty bolts.

Order an academy to teach the "full heal" skill to all demons who have ridiculous hitpoint pools.
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Gigabytebob

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #20 on: February 26, 2017, 04:29:22 pm »

Declare the people of Isilfrid to be war criminals who murdered demonic civilians. They have been given a fair trial in-absentia and modestly sentenced to be flayed, unflayed, then burned alive using rusty bolts.

Order an academy to teach the "full heal" skill to all demons who have ridiculous hitpoint pools.
Yes sir i will gather a party of demon slavers to capture the the town of Isilfrid and i will tell the finest demon carpenter's and masons to build the finest academy were they will learn all sorts of skills but full heal will be required or they will face execution   
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adamantine, the only material that can be honed to an edge so fine it can cut light, cleave steel like butter, and sever heads with the enthusiasm of a deranged bloodthirsty child.

Turn those goblinoid uglybolds into adorable cutebolds

RAM

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #21 on: February 26, 2017, 06:45:42 pm »

Hrmmm, executions don't seem impressive enough. There should be a massive pedestal, visible from five kilometres in every direction. And lets not just kill them, lets destroy their minds, imprison their souls, and force something almost mindless in as a replacement. Are imps still just homicidal cowards who mindlessly obey the biggest demon they see? Or was the one I knew special...
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Vote (1) for the Urist scale!
I shall be eternally happy. I shall be able to construct elf hunting giant mecha. Which can pour magma.
Urist has been forced to use a friend as fertilizer lately.
Read the First Post!

Gigabytebob

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #22 on: February 26, 2017, 07:23:39 pm »

Hrmmm, executions don't seem impressive enough. There should be a massive pedestal, visible from five kilometres in every direction. And lets not just kill them, lets destroy their minds, imprison their souls, and force something almost mindless in as a replacement. Are imps still just homicidal cowards who mindlessly obey the biggest demon they see? Or was the one I knew special...
i will find a way to make all demons who do not learn the full heal skill into giant pedestals and take there souls to a place worse than Hell and all imps obey you sire and know one else as i know i am an imp myself but when they are in an army or raiding party they will hide behind the biggest demon
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adamantine, the only material that can be honed to an edge so fine it can cut light, cleave steel like butter, and sever heads with the enthusiasm of a deranged bloodthirsty child.

Turn those goblinoid uglybolds into adorable cutebolds

Gigabytebob

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #23 on: February 26, 2017, 07:52:06 pm »

Ehh, That is a bit obvious. Can't we instead make a sword that sacrifices its victims in order to summon a demon, then sponsor an underground tournament and offer it as a prize, and tell the demons to pretend to be subservient to the sword's wielder so long as they aren't ordered to do anything suicidal? It'd be kind of nice to set up a fake demon king who is just a greedy human and then launch our invasion while everyone is distracted...
I will get the 3 dwarf slaves to make this mighty blade and get a demon witch doctor to enchant it and i will track down the human gambler known as Ian Kilbib and make him fund this operation
*1 month later* sir the operation was a success the winner caused more destruction than we hoped he tried to use the sword by faking a demon attack by secretly kill 3 people to spawn 3 demon then tried to kill them not knowing they would fight back the demons are still going from town to town burning all the inhabitants and the town they are at its 4th town     
sir i have bad news the demons were slayed by the town guard of Isilfrid
sir i have bad news the human king and his men are investigating the towns those demons destroyed and worse he found the sword he asked to find out what enchantment is has on it if they found out the order to form an alliance with dwarfs elfs and humans will happen and they will invade hell and kill us all what do we do 
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adamantine, the only material that can be honed to an edge so fine it can cut light, cleave steel like butter, and sever heads with the enthusiasm of a deranged bloodthirsty child.

Turn those goblinoid uglybolds into adorable cutebolds

RAM

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #24 on: February 26, 2017, 08:19:49 pm »

Well bother... I'm all busy with this execution issue... Tell the succubi to deal with it, they are good at this sort of thing...
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Vote (1) for the Urist scale!
I shall be eternally happy. I shall be able to construct elf hunting giant mecha. Which can pour magma.
Urist has been forced to use a friend as fertilizer lately.
Read the First Post!

Puppyguard

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #25 on: February 26, 2017, 08:48:16 pm »

Ehhh...
Let's just open a magma vein above the army.
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RoseHeart

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #26 on: February 26, 2017, 09:30:41 pm »

And bring me a tall lemonaid with a silly straw!
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Gigabytebob

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #27 on: February 27, 2017, 07:42:20 am »

Well bother... I'm all busy with this execution issue... Tell the succubi to deal with it, they are good at this sort of thing...
well i have have an idea maybe send a couple of succubi to seduce the people investigating the sword and kill them then bring sword back to us then put 1 or 2 dead kobold there to blame it on them oh and here is your lemonaid made with 100% real combustible lemons 
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adamantine, the only material that can be honed to an edge so fine it can cut light, cleave steel like butter, and sever heads with the enthusiasm of a deranged bloodthirsty child.

Turn those goblinoid uglybolds into adorable cutebolds

RAM

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #28 on: February 27, 2017, 08:39:33 am »

Yes yes, that sounds fine, I trust the succubi completely. Can I get some more cushions? I feel as though I have been sitting down forever...
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Vote (1) for the Urist scale!
I shall be eternally happy. I shall be able to construct elf hunting giant mecha. Which can pour magma.
Urist has been forced to use a friend as fertilizer lately.
Read the First Post!

Gigabytebob

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Re: You are the Demon king
« Reply #29 on: February 28, 2017, 08:23:42 am »

Yes yes, that sounds fine, I trust the succubi completely. Can I get some more cushions? I feel as though I have been sitting down forever...
yes sire here are the finest cushions made out of a giant mint green 8 legged lama
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adamantine, the only material that can be honed to an edge so fine it can cut light, cleave steel like butter, and sever heads with the enthusiasm of a deranged bloodthirsty child.

Turn those goblinoid uglybolds into adorable cutebolds
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