Kaos (left): dibs on all enemies on the left!
One-shot (right): dibs on all enemies on the right!
Brass (center): No dibbing. We have a job to do.
NPCA: This place is quite dusty isn't it?
NPCB: Discounting that Advent building in front of us, yeah.
Brass: Eyes peeled, we're moving in.
Redshirt: I think I see an enemy.
One-shot: That's just a turret. want me to shoot it?
Brass: Fuck no. It'll blow our cover. We'll circle around the building's west side.
NPCC: What is west?
NPCD: It's east but more westwards.
NPCC: Ooooh.
Reyes (NPC): Heads up, enemy patrol moving in.
Brass: Are you serious?
Reyes: Prrreetty sure they'll see me if I make a move, lieutenant.
Brass: Damn it. Ok. Blade, get inside the building. Kaos, support Reyes. Everyone else, climb before they see you.
All: Roger.
Redshirt: They're going to walk the other way.
Redshirt: Oops.
One-shot: I swear to god if you just jinxed us...
Redshirt: I'll be dying first. What are you gonna do about it?
One-shot: ...Damn.
Enemy Captain: That man's hair is not up to code! He must be an intruder! Get him!
Reyes: Hey fuck off my hair is fabulous.
Enemy Captain: He speaks english!
Brass: GET HIM!
One-shot: Oh look Kaos hit his target for once.
Kaos: Fuck off.
Enemy Captain: Your hair is as ugly as his stupid hat.
Reyes: You petty asshole.
Brass: Was it necessary to melt his kneecap into his balls?
Reyes: He was being petty.
Brass: ...If you say so. Everybody else, mop 'em up before they can recover.
Galena: Aye aye.
Kaos: Two in one day.
One-Shot: (Unimpressed) Impressive.
Graverobber: My you are all children. Let me show you how it's done.
Also, another image for the Samurai Monthly Calendar.
Olsen (Above): I love my trench gun.
All: We know.
...
Brass: Good work, we got 'em all.
One-shot: More of them to the east.
Brass: Got it. Reform and engage.
Brass: I'll just show myself in...
Brass: There we go.
Kaos: So Schmidt, I notice you haven't taken a shot yet. Maybe that name of yours is
Muton 1: Alas! I have but only one life to give to my country. *is dead*
One-Shot: You were saying something?
Kaos: ...
Muton 2: Heathens! How dare you snuff the life of one so devout?! I shall pass retribution upon thee!
Berserker: *Maniacal Roaring*
Muton 2: ...Yes, dear cousin, we can stop for ice cream when we're off duty.
Turret: *Beep boop fuck you* *pew pew pew*
Backdraft (NPC): Good going with the turret, Brass. I'll clean up.
Muton 2: NO! Cousin! You honorless curs! Have at you!
Fun fact: the berserker corpse starts moving after the turret is killed.
Brass: Sounds like we pissed him off.
Graverobber: I got him.
Muton 2: I join you, in vahalla... *is dead*
Graverobber: I wonder what they grunt about?
Brass: Good kill. Everybody else, focus on the other aliens.
Redshirt: like that guy?
Brass: Yeah, like that oh shit MUSCLE MUSCLE MUSCLE!
I'd like to believe that XCOM field units would have shortened enemy names to call out as warnings.
Reyes: Muscle wherOH MY GOD
Graverobber: POiSON!
Brass: Poison wherOH MY GOD
Brass: Assholes!
Reyes: Payback time.
One-shot: Getting rid of that snake.
Kaos: showoff. Taking care of the other snake.
One-shot: Showoff.
Kaos:
...
Brass: good, our current area is clear. Move ahead and scale this building, there are definitely others just around the corner.
(So they do and of course meet more aliens)
...
(During one action)
Blade: ATTACK!!
Blade: Oh shit
Muton:
Blade: Oh god my face I'm gonna pass out now
Muton: You next
Reyes: no
...
Brass: last group up north, engage!
...
Olson (NPC): Oshit
Brass: what part of "High Cover" did you not understand?? Clean the field so I can get this kit to her!
Silver: aye aye.
Kaos: Fuck.
Kaos: Fuck!
One-shot: *megasmug*
Brass: Enemy main group sighted.
Brass: Let's do this right. One at a time, boys.
Kaos: Got it.
ADVENT: Oh god that went up my ass
Kaos: Not too shabby.
One-shot: Taking a shot.
ADVENT: No not the face!
Brass: I think you hit the only part of his face that had armor on it.
One-shot: still dead.
Graverobber: we have a bit of a problem here. They have a long range mech at the back of their formation and I cannot reach it in time.
Brass: Shit. Blade, do whatever it takes to take that thing down.
Blade: Got it.
Note that Blade now has 3 actions after Brass Commanded him, allowing him to do this.
Brass: Good, finish up!
Graverobber: As you wish.
Graverobber: Too shallow, damn.
Silver: I got him. Grenade!
*Insert explosion here* No seriously i'm too lazy to take a screenshot of that.
Brass: There's still the enemy commander. Take him down.
Reyes: Right. Blade, let's do this.
Blade: Understood.
Reyes: *japanese screaming*
Blade: *angry Russian* (or whatever it is he speaks)
Blade: He is dead.
ADVENT: NonononononoNONONO I'm leaving!
Blade: No.
Blade: Advent cannot run.
Brass: Field is clear. Let's call command and have them loot this place. Avenger, this is menace 1-5 requesting pickup...