Yanno, that's one of those things where instead of the usual sort of seething disgust or urge to maim which I get when I think about the big orange turd too long, I can't help but find the idea that he's not on any drugs at all just creepy.
Like, I get the teetotaller thing, watch a family member dive into a bottle and drown and you might develop an aversion to it, and it isn't like booze really hits any of the fun buttons, it just turns down the concern and control knobs, tends to lead to... interesting discoveries the next day (gosh, why are my palms all cut up... was I really vaulting barbed wire fences to get away from cops after skinny dipping at the high school pool last night? fuck, glad drunk me is just as good at getting over fences as sober me, wish he would check for obvious consquences more often though) so hey, I get it, it's a thing of absolute last resort if I'm miserable and can't get to sleep or something if that.
Really the best use of booze is either mixing some merlot into a beef stew recipe and serving it over mashed potatoes or rice... alternatively next time you go to make some hamburgers, cook up some onions in some beer, and mix beer into the beef before you patty them up, fuckers are goddamn lustfully delicious, decadent, like you savour every last bite and see the bill claiming you just finished a $20 burger and you're like 'aight, making sure I get every last onion off my elbows then' cause FUCK THEY ARE SO GOOD.
Where was I, oh yeah, booze I got no use for outside of food, but other drugs? Come on, there are so many fun buttons in your brain to play with, even ones without nasty fucked up side effects!