Ultra-radical politician thinking:
Premises--
1) The census exists to provide government with data from the public, so that the government can perform essential functions. (Or at least, functions it considers essential.)
2) To facilitate this, government has mandated that citizens answer all questions on the census, and do so honestly, or suffer consequences.
"AH HAH!" shouts the radical politician. "we can solve so many niggling problems with this!!"
New questions the radical politician asks:
1) Are you a citizen of this country? (If you say no, you get deported! If you say yes, and it is a lie, you go to jail!! If you refuse to answer, you get heavily penalized! Despotic erections ahoy!)
2) Have you committed any crimes? If yes, please list. (YAY! We dont need to hire investigative police any more except for the narrow task of verifying answers! Remember, if you lie on this, you have committed a crime, and will be punished. If you fail to answer, that too is a crime, and will be punished!)
3) If you answered yes above, please list the items you have served sentence or paid reimbursement for. (Cant be serving double jeopardy here. Again, if you lie, you are immediately committing a crime, and failure to answer fully and truthfully is also a crime.)
......
I think you get the idea here. Who ever thought it was a good idea to allow the government to compel people, under penalty of law, to have to answer questions in this kind of modality in the first place? Clearly, they were either 1) malicious despots, or 2) FUCKING RETARDS.
I can just *FEEL* the apologists now....
"Oh, that 5th amendment thing? Yeah- that applies to 'citizens', which if you are here illegally, do not apply to you. So, if you say 'no' to the "are you a citizen" question, your rights have not been violated in respect to our compelling you to admit to your not being a citizen, even if you are here illegally. If you say YES, and you are not actually a citizen, we now have grounds to prosecute you for lieing on the census. (Nevermind that we asked this question to create a strawman we can flail about in political jousting matches, so that we could specifically delineate which kinds of things are true of non-citizens against things are true of proper citizens, so that we can then feel confident denouncing them publicly to scapegoat noncitizens. No, that is not malicious nor evil in any way, why ask that?) I mean, government HAS to have good and valid information to make reasonable decisions, right?"
Really. The census should be limited to:
How many people live in this house?
How many are married?
How many are children?
Of the adults, how many are employed?
What is the gross income of this household in aggregate?
Of the children, how many are school age?
How many are in public schools?
AND THATS IT!!
All the 20 other pages of FUCKING MORONIC HORSESHIT in the census does not need to be there, and the US can get that data more reliably any number of other ways.
There should be no overt penalty to lieing to the census taker, other than not getting a well functioning government. (Welcome to civics assholes!)
As such, there should be no "enforced by threat of legal violence" demand for compliance.