There's some truth in that, and it's notable that "former sjw's" (and there are growing numbers of these of which their accounts you can read online and in articles) tend to veer
all the way away in the same way that people coming out of fundie religions tend to veer
way away from what their parents believed.
e.g. Cassie Jaye who directed The Red Pill was a celebrated feminist film-maker, but then she decided to make an open-minded film about a group she didn't
agree with (MRAs) but was willing to listen to what their points are. Cue hate-speech and "othering" by feminists etc, and now Cassie Jaye says she "no longer considers herself a Feminist". Not because of what she learned from MRAs, but because of the sheer
toxicity of the Feminism movement to anyone who opens any dialogue with "not feminists". Basically the hate-speech started when she made it clear she intended to create an
objective documentary, not a motivated political attack film, e.g. well before the film even existed.
And
this is to people who otherwise tick all the "identity" boxes you like. One step outside of Core Doctrine and they tear you down. Potential allies are noticing this sort of behavior, and if it can happen to Cassie Jaye then
why should a more marginal ally, such as a male-born person grovel at the feet of these people, if they can just rip anyone to shreds for basically nothing? What are they offering in exchange for loyalty? This is actively pushing people away. And if you push people away then we shouldn't be surprised when some of those people who feel "othered" talk to other groups, and find common grievances with those groups.
EDIT: let me give you an example. The doctrine is that "all ways of being a woman are equally valid". So women are empowered no matter what they do. We accept that as fundamental truth. However ... the movement's attitude for men is that
all ways of being a man are
wrong, basically, and they need to be torn down. You can say "but they support gays - that's diversity". But ... even if it's the gay community, they highlight "
gays are more sexist than straight guys", or "nice guys" is
just a trick. Fuck "nice guys". Dads too, fuck them, patriarchal domineering idiots.
Let's destroy that too. Basically, if you take the combined movement as a whole and it's relationship to virtually anything that could be correlated with being male in
any way, all you get is this thing about completely deconstructing
everything about one gender while deifying
everything about the other gender.
Exactly why should an uncommitted male think that this sounds like something they need to support? Sure, this is "gender politics" not party politics, but when the movement as a whole has wedded itself so intricately to this specific position, then disagreeing on this drives people away on all connected matters.
This is why, even though I hate the gamergate abuse-trolls, similar to what Arx said, I find myself also hating the people who hate them. I really
don't want to side with the gamergate people, but basically I'm told now that I'm part of the problem merely for having a penis and liking video games, even if I never abused anyone. So I'm not an individual now who chose to play video games, I'm merely a pawn in the hegemony that keeps women out of video games, merely because I exist and have the wrong genitals. Maybe you can see how
disaffirming people's identity and choices and the hardships they have endured in their life (like getting beaten up for being geeks) like that
drives people into communities hostile to the people who are doing it. And man, i remember the
old days where guys played video games and women
sneered at anything to do with that, and made you feel awkward and inferior for having geeky hobbies. Now ... you want to be telling me that
we kept
them out? Like it was the cool kid's club? Before facebook games and later phone games made them acceptable, most women felt that games
were beneath them and that geeky guys were an inferior life form. This is just how it was.