There is something to be said about discourse where you are right. Discourse is not just for Donald Trump, but for the nation, and that is not something that should be allowed to disintegrate. It will harden hearts and minds, as you say. I think a number of people, even here in this thread, have raised their concerns about how the debate is shaping up, and I agree that it is very poisonous and bad for the country. I think we should all bear that in mind moving forward.
But I would like to object here and say that if Donald Trump is (as I have speculated him to be) an actual pathological narcissist (as opposed to just being narcissistic, which I think is pretty darn indisputable at this point), then you are actually wrong. He is a cartoon caricature, emotionally at least. There is no there there. He's not capable of empathy in the traditional sense, or at least if he is he has not demonstrated it. The people around him are human (shitty, but human), but Narcissists aren't really. They don't see you as human (at least not human in the way that *they* are human), at least, and perhaps aren't even really capable of it. I would know, my father is one, and I've argued before that Donald Trump shows classical (and anecdotal) signs of it; it's impossible to diagnosed someone without actually seeing them (although I'll note that narcissism is rarely ever diagnosed), but if he is a narcissist, it's automatically disqualifying.
It's very unfashionable to come right out and say this in this modern, progressive age, because when I say it, it reminds you of all the people who have been falsely accused of this, but here it is: there are some people alive today who really are not worth respecting. People who aren't deserving of compassion, because they themselves cannot show it to others, or appreciate it when you show it to them. People who cannot feel empathy, and who think so differently that true empathy is not capable towards them. Not because of the color of their skin, or their culture, or economic background, or anything other than the fact that they are, essentially, not human. Very, very few people. Very few. But they exist, and Donald may be one of them.
Note that saying this is actively unhelpful, because people will perceive it as an attack on the things that Donald has come to represent and with which they identify. To say that Donald Trump is a bad man is to attack the "basketful of deplorables" which his supporters identify as an attack on them. Supporting Donald does not make you a bad person, or even a dumb person, and the people who attack Trump only see through him because he is opposed to what they believe in. (Seeing through narcissism is a skill that must be learned, not a talent; even I struggle sometimes). But while I acknowledge that many people dislike Trump for wrong reasons, or like him for right reasons, that does not mean what I said isn't true: Donald, after all, has no actual positions. He is not free-trade or protectionist, or right-wing or left-wing. I mean that much obvious; his record as a flip-flopper is undisputed. There are people who only see what's wrong with Trump because he is right-wing, but that does not mean that all those things are not wrong with Trump. I say this merely because here in this thread, it's worth saying that Donald is not the people who support him. None (or very few) of his supporters are racist, greedy, misogynist bullies. But Donald Trump is a racist, greedy, self-aggrandizing, misogynist bully who continues to throw third-grade theatrics as The President of the United States of America, the most powerful man in the world, and the simple fact of that matter is that no one is capable of seriously defending him on a personal level (that is to say, defend his personality) without engaging in egregious violations of facts and logic. The best argument I've heard, seriously, is "he's honest" in his corruption: he is merely openly doing all the worst possible things that you can imagine a politician doing in one person, and so people who imagine all politicians do those things find him a breath of fresh air. He may not be a Russian shill, but I feel fully qualified in saying that Donald Trump is not a good man. He is not a good family man, he is not kind or decent or generous, he is simply, first-and-foremost, an egoist, and recognition of this is crucial to understanding anything else about him.
The short version is that Donald Trump is going to polarize this country to hell because people say and will continue to say terrible things about Donald Trump, all the terrible things we tell ourselves about anyone we don't like, because Donald Trump is almost all of the terrible things people say about him. Tthe current defense of him is that he isn't a Russian Shill. So? So he didn't commit the worst treason in American history and conspire to gain power by selling the country out to our greatest foreign antagonist and fundamentally weakening the most valued attribute of our country, it's democracy. And? So what? What about everything else?
The problem is that most of the worst things people believe about Donald Trump are, in fact, true, which means there is little daylight between "hating him for who he actually is" and "hating him because of hating him". And that, by itself, may break this country.
Personally the Trump talk is off to me, regardless of whether it's said by a man or a woman. Narcissism is actually more common in women (well technically, what I mean is that there are few women psychopaths or sociopaths, and that they instead tend to manifest as narcissists; I don't know actually how APD is distributed between the sexes).