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Author Topic: It's Bigly! It's Yuge! It's Monsters are You(ge)!  (Read 16689 times)

Rethi-Eli

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Turn 6 has started! Time: Sunset!

((I have no idea where I am or what my situation is.))

Eurgh, I am the worst GM ever

You're a necromancer. In a place.

It's green.

Five zombies follow you silently.

You pass the charred remains of a town that was recently attacked by a dragon.

You're searching for one thing, an ancient relic that can make you the most powerful necromancer in history.

It's a huge gem, called The Eye of the Wolf.

You've tracked it this far, and you have no intention of losing the trail. It was supposed to be in the cave of a dragon, yet you don't feel it's presence where it should be...


Waitlist: That other guy, you know, that one

'That other guy' is called Neoexdeath, just so you know.

k

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

find the skeleton that tried to follow me after being told not to and study it. Try to find out what is different about it.


You examine the skeleton. Nothing really seems different about it. It stands there, shuffling, as you examine it. You decide to name it, out of sheer boredom. What shall it be called...

"VAAAAAAAAAAMPIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Continue Searching.

Flying around and roaring is exhausting work.

-1 hunger


For everything else, please see the post below.



"Look at that mess you made. Look. At. It. Do you think I like living in holes? No, I would rather have a more neat environment. Such is unlife. Nonetheless, you have bloodied my floor.. Why not finish the job?"

Drain the girl of all blood, viciously.


You advance upon the now crippled girl as she tries to straighten her leg.

"Look at that mess you made. Look. At. It. Do you think I like living in holes? No, I would rather have a more neat environment. Such is unlife. Nonetheless, you have bloodied my floor... Why not finish the job?"

"W-wait!" she says, wincing as her leg twitches. "Th-there's a cure! T-to being a v-vampire! Just... please...don't kill me..."

You chuckle at the pitiful sight. You decide to bluff for now, and see what the girl is saying.

"I know a lie when I hear one, girl."

"N-no! There's a wizard, w-with a gem, he thinks he can u-use it to cure all sorts of things, even being a v-vampire! It's a huge emerald, and it's magical!"

Interesting. You decide to bluff further, to see if you can get any more info.

"What makes you think I don't like being a vampire, girl? I have power, strength, and speed. People fear me, and I can use that fear. I am a god among men, I am the strongest of them all. I-"

"YOU MAY BE STRONG, VAMPIRE, BUT YOU ARE NOT THE STRONGEST."

You turn around and see the head of a dragon outside of your hole. You glare.

"Leave at once, dragon. We are not enemies. I have no quarrel with you."

"GIVE ME THE GIRL, VAMPIRE. SHE KNOWS WHO TOOK MY SHINY. I WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS!

You know that you're partially immune to dragonfire, so you can fight it out with the beast. On the other hand, you'd be fighting over one human, a weak creature that occurs in abundance. But what if the girl is telling the truth... do you want to continue living like this, if you can even call it that?


Spoiler (click to show/hide)
((forgot to update hunger and happiness a few turns ago, its fixed now))

Travel north for a little while, see what is to be seen.

You travel North. You spot a handful of human caravans as you travel, but of they flee in terror whenever you draw near. With a sigh, you press on. Eventually, you spot the walls of a city. It dwarfs Turholm in every way. Its walls are three times as high as you, and huge ballistae are everywhere. It's a veritable fortress. You back away, but commit the city's location to memory.
Logged
In the end, the winner is the one with the most snake venom.

Coolrune206

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Re: (bleargh) Monsters are You!
« Reply #61 on: January 16, 2017, 05:31:14 pm »

Spoiler: Banta the Necromancer (click to show/hide)

Raise any charred corpses that remain in the town.

"I would be a fool to pass up this opportunity."
Logged
"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

killerhellhound

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Re: (bleargh) Monsters are You!
« Reply #62 on: January 16, 2017, 06:46:57 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I shall call you Bob. Now take my horde and start looking for an isolated farm to take an animal or two from.
Logged
My Sig
Fluttershy jumps onto TCM, giving him a hug. "~Yay~"*Player TCM has left the server. Reason: HHHHNNNNNGGGG-

We Madmen are very ingenious.  Sometimes it just takes just a little less sanity to pull off something completely awesome.

S34N1C

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Re: (bleargh) Monsters are You!
« Reply #63 on: January 16, 2017, 08:10:56 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeeeeeaaaaah, I'm gonna get the hell away from that city. Nothing but trouble there. Go back south to that town with all the grain. See if they're as friendly as the old lady(probably not, but whatevs)
Logged
As always, life is brief and transient, your posting history lasts forever, so always prioritise forum games.

Glory to United Forenia!

Mallos

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Re: (bleargh) Monsters are You!
« Reply #64 on: January 16, 2017, 09:47:44 pm »

Damien rolls his eyes. A dragon.
"You really want her, don't you?" Damien grabs the girl by the wrist with one hand. "Ugh.. I hate dragons. You always huddle in your dens with no ambition- no conquest, no power, just shiny things. But whatever, waste your thousands of years away like that if you want. Take the waste of a human.." Damien smirks as the muscles in his arm bulge noticeably. "IF YOU CAN CATCH HER!"

Damien attempts to throw the girl by the wrist in a frontward arc over the dragon, full-force.
Logged
Gone. Departed. Headed off toward greener pastures.

TankKit

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Rage-o-Meter: RAAAH
« Reply #65 on: January 17, 2017, 03:35:13 am »

Furorem seems amused. "I'm a fucking dragon. I have a giant fucking bowl on my back. I'm pretty damn sure I can catch her." Catch Her. And if she dies, MURDER THAT MOTHER FUCKING VAMPIRE!
Logged
“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Rethi-Eli

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Turn 7 has started! Time: Early Night

Everyone except Damien loses one hunger, because I forgot to replenish his hunger when he bit the girl!


Spoiler: Banta the Necromancer (click to show/hide)

Raise any charred corpses that remain in the town.

"I would be a fool to pass up this opportunity."

Yet a fool you are not. It seems that no one perished in the fires, but you do find the corpses of three vampire victims.

Horde +3!

You wonder where you should go next. You don't know much about the area around you...


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I shall call you Bob. Now take my horde and start looking for an isolated farm to take an animal or two from.

You conjure a party hat and put it on Bob, so you can distinguish him from the rest of the horde. You then scour the countryside, and find a nice little farm with a large barn. You enter it, and carry off a few...

What should you carry off?

You and your horde can carry a maximum weight of 15 units without risking the destruction of your thralls.

Chickens weigh 2 units (lay lots of eggs with a rooster around).
Roosters weigh 3 (needed if you want your chickens to lay eggs).
Pigs weigh 4 (bacon).
Sheep weigh 5 (have lots of wool).
Cows weigh 8 (have a lot of milk).


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeeeeeaaaaah, I'm gonna get the hell away from that city. Nothing but trouble there. Go back south to that town with all the grain. See if they're as friendly as the old lady(probably not, but whatevs)

noped

You back away from the city. You return to Pinefall, and approach the walls hesitantly. A few farmers gaze up at you as you stride towards the city gates, awestruck. It isn't long until the walls of the city (which barely come up to your waist) are swarming with guards.

"Stay back, foul beast!" shouts the captain.

"I mean you no harm..." you say, raising your eyebrows.

"Don't lie to me, giantess! Your kind and our kind are not meant to coexist! Leave, or I will be forced to fight you!"

You groan. You have a couple of options here, including but not limited to

Fuck it, just leave, this guy is obviously not listening
Try and convince the little bugger that you aren't a "beast"
Murder 'em all
Demand tribute
Just smash open the gates instead of asking the guards for permission


Damien rolls his eyes. A dragon.
"You really want her, don't you?" Damien grabs the girl by the wrist with one hand. "Ugh.. I hate dragons. You always huddle in your dens with no ambition- no conquest, no power, just shiny things. But whatever, waste your thousands of years away like that if you want. Take the waste of a human.." Damien smirks as the muscles in his arm bulge noticeably. "IF YOU CAN CATCH HER!"

Damien attempts to throw the girl by the wrist in a frontward arc over the dragon, full-force.

You easily hurl her over the dragon, as far as you can.

See the next post for pretty much everything else.

Furorem seems amused. "I'm a fucking dragon. I have a giant fucking bowl on my back. I'm pretty damn sure I can catch her." Catch Her. And if she dies, MURDER THAT MOTHER FUCKING VAMPIRE!

You scramble backwards, and the girl lands in your bowl-thingy with a dull thud, followed by a scream and gasping.

"YOU'VE SEALED YOUR FATE, VAMPIRE. IT'S A MISTAKE TO BE THE ENEMY OF THE PRAEDAM CLAN."

You fly off, and return to your cave. You tilt your back, and the girl falls from your bowl on to a patch of moss. Only now do you see the extent of her injuries. Her right leg is broken, her ankle fractured, and her knee dislocated. Her left wrist, which the vampire flung her with, hangs limply, most likely out of place. Her teeth are clenched, and sporadic tremors run through her, sending her into another fit of pain. You steel your heart.

"WHERE IS MY SHINY?"

She doesn't answer. You pick her up in one claw, and look at her with one huge eye.

"I-i... uuh... it's... f-far South... tower..."

"I NEED TO KNOW MORE."

"W-white...aahh...oh god... white tower, l-lots of guards... top floor... wizard..."

The girl stops talking and starts crying when another tremor wracks her body. You have all the information you need.
Logged
In the end, the winner is the one with the most snake venom.

Coolrune206

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Re: Roll to be an a-hole: Monsters are You!
« Reply #67 on: January 17, 2017, 01:15:54 pm »

Spoiler: Banta the Necromancer (click to show/hide)

Head West.

"When in doubt, follow the setting sun."
« Last Edit: January 17, 2017, 02:06:30 pm by Coolrune206 »
Logged
"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

S34N1C

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Re: Roll to be an a-hole: Monsters are You!
« Reply #68 on: January 17, 2017, 01:27:09 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Try to reason with them
« Last Edit: January 17, 2017, 08:27:20 pm by S34N1C »
Logged
As always, life is brief and transient, your posting history lasts forever, so always prioritise forum games.

Glory to United Forenia!

Rethi-Eli

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Re: Roll to be an a-hole: Monsters are You!
« Reply #69 on: January 17, 2017, 01:37:50 pm »

People, you need to keep track of your hunger

Sasha is at 7 hunger
Banta is at 4
Logged
In the end, the winner is the one with the most snake venom.

TankKit

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Rage-o-Meter: Rah
« Reply #70 on: January 17, 2017, 01:43:14 pm »

"Nom Nom." Eat her, then go in the direction she said, looking for the white tower. When we find it, try to diplomacy because I'm in a good mood.
Logged
“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

killerhellhound

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Re: Roll to be an a-hole: Monsters are You!
« Reply #71 on: January 17, 2017, 07:44:56 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
As I dont have anything to cook with I'll take a cow, two chickens and a rooster
Logged
My Sig
Fluttershy jumps onto TCM, giving him a hug. "~Yay~"*Player TCM has left the server. Reason: HHHHNNNNNGGGG-

We Madmen are very ingenious.  Sometimes it just takes just a little less sanity to pull off something completely awesome.

Mallos

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Re: Roll to be an a-hole: Monsters are You!
« Reply #72 on: January 17, 2017, 08:42:25 pm »

"Night is my domain, so let's go teach some mortals the definition of utter terror." Damien chuckled a bit at the thought of a vampire hunting people purely for entertainment, but he was soon to do it.

Find a relatively weak human settlement and terrorize it, slaying any mortal that stands in my way. Drain some blood from a victim or two while I'm at it.
Logged
Gone. Departed. Headed off toward greener pastures.

Rethi-Eli

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pineapples
« Reply #73 on: January 17, 2017, 11:14:04 pm »

Turn 8 has started! Time: Dead of Night
You all lose one hunger! Keep track of this or I will find you and bash my face into your computer!


Also, holy shit you people, you all just had terrible rolls, none of you got anything above a fail, two of you rolled negative because of modifiers

ouch
Spoiler: Banta the Necromancer (click to show/hide)

Head West.

"When in doubt, follow the setting sun."

You head West. Your horde follows close behind, groaning and shuffling. You make good headway, until you spot a caravan, surrounded by guards, traveling towards you. You duck and hide, but your horde isn't as quick to follow. You hear a shout from the caravan guards, and before you know it, your horde is under attack. There are at least 20 caravan guards, so you just watch as your horde is butchered, and their bodies mangled beyond recognition. You manage to reanimate one, but the rest are beyond salvaging.
You're also quite hungry.

-1 happiness!
-7 horde!


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Try to reason with them

You start to talk with the captain of the guard when a small crossbow bolt lodges itself in your shoulder. You wince and pluck it out. One marksman, crossbow shaking in his hands, stares at you, wide-eyed. You're rapidly losing patience.

"I'm no-"

You're interrupted when a volley of bolts shower upon you. Most of them bounce harmlessly off of your huge garments, but quite a few manage to embed themselves quite deep in your arms, which you're using to shield yourself from the barrage. You're angry, and start to leave, when a trebuchet on the wall flings a pot of scalding oil at you. It crashes against your left arm, singing your skin and showering sharp bits of ceramic everywhere. You lose your temper.

"THAT DOES IT!"

You grab the trebuchet and tear it in two, hurling the pieces of wood at a nearby ranch, caving in its roof. You then slam yourself into the wall surrounding the city. It holds, but the foundation shakes. The guards scream, one falls off and crashes through the roof of a house. You hurl yourself against the wall again, and it cracks. You do it again, and again, and again, until the wall is no more than a pile of rubble. You grab a handful of fleeing guards, as well as their annoying captain, and bring them with you back to your cave. You've calmed down now, and you feel a bit more in control, but you're still fuming. Most of the guards are keeping quiet, but the captain incessantly hurls insults at you. You sigh, and run a hand through your hair. Why is it that these stupid humans constantly give you nothing but trouble?


"Nom Nom." Eat her, then go in the direction she said, looking for the white tower. When we find it, try to diplomacy because I'm in a good mood.

You drop the girl on the ground.

"Y-you're... going to let me go"? she asks, smiling gratefully.

You chuckle.

"THAT'S NOT ON THE MENU. YOU, HOWEVER, ARE!"

The girl's smile turns to a scream as you lower your maw. She tries to scramble away, and even shoves her kneecap back into place with a groan, but it's no use. You toy with her, giving her hope that she may escape, but crushing all hope when you grab her right before she would have scrambled out of the exit.


"PLEASE!" she screams, crying hysterically.

You grab her by the neck with your jaws, shake your head, snapping her spine, and swallow. However, moments later, you feel a strange object in your mouth, followed by intense white-hot pain. You start coughing, and the girl emerges, one of your teeth, root and all, in her hand, raised like a dagger. You roar, and a gout of dragonflame spews at your. Your eyes widen in disbelief when she emerges unharmed. She then darts out of the cave, moving swiftly for a human, especially one with a broken leg.

"GRAAAAAH!"

A trickle of blood leaks from your mouth, and you wince as you run your tongue over your tooth wound. Rage fills you.


-1 happiness!
-1 hunger!
-3 hp!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
As I dont have anything to cook with I'll take a cow, two chickens and a rooster

You start off with the animals when you hear a shout. A farmer, wielding a scythe, is chasing you, screaming about necromancers. He cuts the head off one of your zombies before you vaporize him with a reflexive blast of lightining. That's when three more farmhands step out, wielding various deadly farming implements. You turn around, and see a number of the city guards heading your way, no doubt drawn by the lightning blast. You immediately engage in a fierce battle, but you're routed. You watch as your horde dwindles in size until only four undead remain. You keep running, sending one other zombie to distract the mob. Eventually you escape, but now you only have three thralls. Bob sighs. At least you have some animals...

You yelp when a dark form collides into you. You stand up, and see a horribly injured girl groaning, prone on the ground.

"Gods..." you mutter, looking at her wounds.


"Night is my domain, so let's go teach some mortals the definition of utter terror." Damien chuckled a bit at the thought of a vampire hunting people purely for entertainment, but he was soon to do it.

Find a relatively weak human settlement and terrorize it, slaying any mortal that stands in my way. Drain some blood from a victim or two while I'm at it.

You head out, and you grin with pleasure when you see a handful of unarmed civilians, huddling in the dark in a shanty.

"Why do these fools always make it so easy?" you mutter, chuckling to yourself.

You calmly stride up to them, making no effort to conceal yourself. You grab one by the neck, when you feel a terrible pain all over your face, like flame hotter than a sun. You howl and stagger back. Silver dust. The "refugees" all draw silver rapiers, and a number of others exit the surrounding forest, clad and armed with silver. Their masks (which are of course made out of silver) gleam in the moonlight. You're surrounded. These are Silverblades, the most prestigious night-creature hunters out there. Thousands of vampires have met their end at the tip of a Silverblade's sword.

"Well, look what he have here? I think it's time to have some fun, orders of the Inquisitor!"

You break into a run, but a net is spread in front of you. You crash to the ground, but tear your way out of the net a second later. You scream in pain as a silver-tipped arrow lodges itself in your back. Your skin smokes as if burned. You stagger away, blinded and injured.
-1 happiness!
-1 hunger!
-12 hp!
Logged
In the end, the winner is the one with the most snake venom.

S34N1C

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Re: Roll to be an a-hole: Monsters are You!
« Reply #74 on: January 17, 2017, 11:25:05 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"It didn't have to be like this. . . I just wanted to be friends. Why couldn't you just hear me out?"

Talk with my captives. Try to get them to accept an apology.
Logged
As always, life is brief and transient, your posting history lasts forever, so always prioritise forum games.

Glory to United Forenia!
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