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Author Topic: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)  (Read 10670 times)

Dustan Hache

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #105 on: January 07, 2017, 03:50:42 pm »

You shout to all the orcs nearby, "Look! your leader flees from me. He is attacking weaker foes rather than the Hero of Sheadoria. Yet you allow him to lead! The coward!" The orcs look at you in confusion. "The great Ogharod is fighting the entire garrison by himself you fool." They didn't seem to buy your attempts. Lord Wickam and Ogharod were now dueling on the wall, exchanging blow for blow. Lord Wickam was surviving, but giving ground...
Point out that what is left of the garrison is untrained peasants who have no real knowledge of combat. Also point out that most of real soldiers were killed off BEFORE he charged up the ladder.
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #106 on: January 07, 2017, 09:24:09 pm »

You shout at them once more, "I challenged him to a fight, and he sent lesser orcs at me. Now he flees to the untrained peasants defending the wall. He fears the Hero of Sheadoria! I will make him fight me, and you will see his cowardice." You reach into your infinite pocket, and feel the ladder that you just stored in there. You do a handstand facing the wall, and pull out the ladder. Gravity pulls the ladder out, which wedges into the ground, and launches you up into the air upside down. You ride the ladder all the way to the top of the wall, where the magical ladder finally runs out. you do a few flips to impress the crowd, then land on top of the wall. You turn dramatically, only to see Lord Wickam get decapitated. His head flies over the battlements, into the army of orcs below. There is a cheer from the orcish army, and a dreaded silence by the humans. The orcs start chanting "run! run! RUN! RUN!" And some men start to run. They just saw a single orc kill hundreds of their companions along with their leader. You would need to even the odds.




Just an update, I'm starting school again, so updates will be much less frequent. Thanks for sticking with this story. I think it will end well.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Puppyguard

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #107 on: January 07, 2017, 09:48:53 pm »

Charge at the leader shouting a battlecry, and feint trying to stab him, then slice his head off.
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DolosusDoleus

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #108 on: January 07, 2017, 09:50:03 pm »

Unleash the power of the finger!
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
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Dustan Hache

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #109 on: January 07, 2017, 11:03:33 pm »

Charge at the leader shouting a battlecry, and feint trying to stab him, then slice his head off.
Unleash the power of the finger!
-1 to both of these. we need to dump some stuff.
lets throw all our weapons at this guy at terminal velocity using our pockets!
Logged
I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

AzyWng

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #110 on: January 08, 2017, 11:55:41 am »

Unleash the power of the finger!
Save this for when the leader is dead.
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crazyabe

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #111 on: January 08, 2017, 12:59:48 pm »

Charge at the leader shouting a battlecry, and feint trying to stab him, then slice his head off.
Unleash the power of the finger!
-1 to both of these. we need to dump some stuff.
lets throw all our weapons at this guy at terminal velocity using our pockets!
+1
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #112 on: January 08, 2017, 02:59:36 pm »

I' on the road for the whole day. I might update tonight, but I'm not sure if I can. Thanks for understanding.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

origamiscienceguy

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #113 on: January 09, 2017, 03:04:26 pm »

You feint a stab at him, but Ogharod sees right through your ploy. You aren't exactly the best swordsman to ever live. He returns with a strike of his own, very slow and methodical, as if he was testing you. You block with your sword, but at the last second, Ogharod increased the power of the strike to a monsterous level, catching you off guard. Your sword gets rent in the middle, and tumbles out of your hand, clattering on the cobbles of the castle courtyard. He strikes at you again, and you pull out a warhammer from your pocket in desperation. You block the strike again, but cannot get any counterattack due to his speed. You drop the warhammar, as it is too heavy for you, and you pull out another weapon, a longsword. You can't keep this up. His strength and speed is too much for you. You doubt you could even have time to get off a magic attack...
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

TheBiggerFish

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #114 on: January 09, 2017, 03:19:35 pm »

What have we got in our pocketses?
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DolosusDoleus

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #115 on: January 09, 2017, 04:01:00 pm »

At high velocity, release everything in our pockets!

Yes, everything. I mean it. Now.
Logged
Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
Ongoing Forum Thingamajiggers:
Wikipedia Wars: Revengance

crazyabe

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #116 on: January 09, 2017, 04:05:49 pm »

Run Backwards, Pocketing a Ladder as we pass, Then Turn back to him and let it out back at him.
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

Puppyguard

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #117 on: January 09, 2017, 08:57:16 pm »

At high velocity, release everything in our pockets!

Yes, everything. I mean it. Now.

+1
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Dustan Hache

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #118 on: January 09, 2017, 10:11:28 pm »

You feint a stab at him, but Ogharod sees right through your ploy. You aren't exactly the best swordsman to ever live. He returns with a strike of his own, very slow and methodical, as if he was testing you. You block with your sword, but at the last second, Ogharod increased the power of the strike to a monsterous level, catching you off guard. Your sword gets rent in the middle, and tumbles out of your hand, clattering on the cobbles of the castle courtyard. He strikes at you again, and you pull out a warhammer from your pocket in desperation. You block the strike again, but cannot get any counterattack due to his speed. You drop the warhammar, as it is too heavy for you, and you pull out another weapon, a longsword. You can't keep this up. His strength and speed is too much for you. You doubt you could even have time to get off a magic attack...
this is not throwing. I wanted throwing!
Logged
I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: You Can't Die: A Humble Hero (community story)
« Reply #119 on: January 10, 2017, 02:09:32 pm »

You retreat from Ogharod's swings, throwing arrows from your pockets to distract him. Next to you was a siege ladder, and you place the top of it into your pocket to suck it up. The orcs climbing up the ladder suddenly found themselves flung upward as the ladder magically flew into your pocket. Ogharod was advancing upon you once more, shields up to deflect any of your attacks. In a final assault, you turn your pockets inside-out, throwing everything in them in his direction. The hundreds of arrows you brought came at him like a spike wall. He crouched behind his shields to protect himself from most of them, but some arrows wedged into his tough skin, aggravating him. Next came your household belongings: cabbages, silverware, tools etc. These items also struck Ogharod all over, and wounded him further. Finally, the siege ladder came out, jamming into his neck, and sending him flying horizontally, dragging on the top of the wall. When the siege ladder finished coming out, you checked to see if he was dead. But alas, Ogharod, stuck with arrows and silverware, bruised and battered, stood up, and sluggishly raised his sword. "No more tricks." He said to you, challenging you once more. Orcs were making it onto the wall now, but instead of attacking, they watched you two square off. The defenders did the same. You picked up a short sword from a fallen soldier, and accepted his challenge.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)
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