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[RoseHeart]

I really want to see an Arnold Schwarzenegger action movie... But with a spindly old man now after seeing this!

[Dustan Hache]

Shout "Tiid klo Ul" as quickly as possible, thus slowing time down for everything BUT ourselves and negating the advantage of the mage. Proceed to beat the crap out of him with our fists.

[FallacyofUrist]

"Bah, humbug. You do realize why that spell's forbidden, right? If two mages cast it at the same time, the world would be permanently slowed. Shame on you!"

[Gwolfski]

"Bah, humbug. You do realize why that spell's forbidden, right? If two mages cast it at the same time, the world would be permanently slowed. Shame on you!"

but everyone is slowed by the same amount, so it doesn't matter. Except for multiverses, but that screws time anyway

[FallacyofUrist]

((Except for thoughts and perceptions. Consider this: if your life was slowed to that speed, minus your thoughts and perceptions, you could still do anything you wanted to do... eventually.))

[Gwolfski]

We can speed it up later. Cast the spell

[origamiscienceguy]

Even with your movements as sluggish as they are, you still have more then enough time to move your fingers and mouth. You channel all of your focus and determination into breaking free of the spell, thinking of the men who have fought by your side thus far in your journey. You form a handsign the mage made as he slowed you down (which just so happened to be a middle finger) And say something. You think "This is stupid. How is this real?" But your sluggish mouth doesn't respond to your thoughts as fast as normal, and the words come out as "Tid klo ul" The entire world around you suddenly becomes slow. The flags on the castle flap in slow motion, and the breeze through the trees looks as if it was made of molassus. The mage suddenly has a look of horror on his face. His lips form the word "how" as he drops his current spell and attempts to use his teleportation. You wheel bento around extremely slowly, and close the gape between you and the mage while he frantically waves his arms and mutters words in slow motion. You stand up in the stirrups, swinging your sword downward so that it would strike him with the maximum possible force. As the sword approaches his upper body, the man turns into a grey mist, dissolving in the wind as your sword cuts through. Immediately after he disappears, your movement returns to normal. You temporarily lose your balance, causing your own accidental spell to break. You look around to find the mage, but he is nowhere to be seen. You hope you won't meet another magic user again.

You ride through the portcullis, into the castle itself. There were more dead bodies inside the breached curtain wall, and the main wall was severely damaged in some areas, but it did not appear to be breached. Whoever had sieged Traniel had come extremely close to capturing it. You are stopped by a voice from the wall. "HALT! WHO GOES THERE?" You speak back in the direction the voice was coming from, unable to locate the source. "I AM THE HERO OF SHEADORIA! I HAVE A LIVE ORC FROM A RAIDING PARTY WHO NEEDS TO BE BROUGHT TO THE CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD." There is a long pause, broken by a heavy oak door opening you into the castle. A man in decorated armor meets you. "I am Lord Wickam. Captain of the Guard... Aren't you a bit old to be the Hero... nevermind, I'm sure you've proven your mettle." Some soldiers dismount the unconcious orc from Bento and drag him off into the castle. Lord Wickam continues talking to you. "I set up the roadblock so that travelers wouldn't walk into the Castralian armies and their damn mage. As you can probably tell, Traniel has been besieged by Castralia. We fended off their first attack, but they will return. They left that damn mage outside so we wouldn't be able to get reinforcements. I figured our people would be safe West of here, but now the orcs are invading. How many were there?" You answer him. "around 30. But they were lightly armed, and unarmored. They could not have been an invasion force. I thought they were looters." Lord Wickam shakes his head. "That was no raiding party. They were light because they were scouts. The orcs want to siege Traniel. These are dark times indeed." You ask a question, "I saw goblins outside, lots of dead ones..." "Hired by Castralia. Goblins would do anything for money. Although that is an idea. Goblins and orcs hate each other. I think that means that they are not working together. Perhapse we could pray that they fight each other, although I would not gamble the future of Sheadoria on that.

You had so many more questions, but a horn in the distance broke you out of your meditation. Lord Wickam hears the horn as well. "Damn it! MEN TO YOUR BATTLE STATIONS!" Soldiers come running out of the armory carying thousands of arrows up the walls. Lord Wickam seemed to have forgotten about you, so you also head up the wall to see the army. Upon reaching the top of the main wall, you see the sheer scale of devastationi the first attack had caused. The grass was littered with corpses, getting denser the closer to the wall they were. The grass was a gradient red, and rubble was seen everywhere. You counted three breaches in the curtain wall, each with the highest density of dead bodies. In between the two walls, more devastation was visible, with some buildings still smoldering. Inside the main wall though, all seemed well. The castle sat behind a third, much smaller wall, but the keep itself seemed extremely defensible. Outside the wall, you saw the orcish army approaching, it's black mass stretching for miles. There was smoke coming from the merchants camp, and you suspect that the poor souls were mercilessly slaughtered. Your anger once again threatened to boil over, but you kept your calm. A river ran through the middle of Traniel, meaning that the orcs could only attack one half of the castle at a time, unless they dared to cross the raging torrent. As the army marched closer, you noticed some more details. These orcs were fully armored from head to toe, and carried massive shields, each 6 feet tall. Instead of siege engines, the orcs simply brought ladders, hundreds of them. Their plan was plain to see: overwhelm the defenders with sheer numbers, and avoid casualties by arrows with their massive shields. The defenders were quivering in fear, they must have had their spirits completely crushed. On the other side of the wall, Lord Wickam was giving a speech, but you could not make out the words from this distance. You had made a vow to serve your countrymen, and you planned to do that. The orc army stopped, and began a war chant which echoed across the landscape.  Then, they held their shields over their heads and slowly marched foreward. Arrows from the deffenders started to fly, but the shields were impermiable. You looked around to try to find a way to help...

[germanyfrance]

Grab a long rope and lasso a battlement. Swing down on it, landing on top of the orc turtle shield formation. (also, have the rope break off a piece of the battlement which crashes on top of the army.) Then run on top of the shields, using your weight to tilt the shields exactly as an arrow comes to fly into the gap.

[origamiscienceguy]

I got my wisdom teeth pulled today. I'll update when I'm feeling better.

[vkiNm]

Take as long as you need! Rest well!

[crazyabe]

PTW, and might I Suggest you get a main page so people like me dont miss these? I Show up as soon as I know about these, but I Always seem to be a few pages late.

[TheBiggerFish]

Unleash the castle's ancient Magma Cannon, designed by the crazed architect Bergholt Stuttley Johnson, upon the orcish armies.  It will melt the flesh from their bones.  And then incinerate their bones.  And thankfully it doesn't land in the city.

[origamiscienceguy]

Sorry, that would be in violation of rule two. Unless I say or imply that there is a magma cannon, that would be manipulating the environment. Instant I WIN buttons are no fun.

[crazyabe]

Run down into the Cellar/Dungeon, Roll a Cask of what ever alcohol is available and sounds most flammable out and over the Wall to land on the orks, Crushing Some, Drowning others. Next Grab a Torch and Throw it where the Cask landed, to Cause the Whole thing to go up like the Magic Fires that one Friendly wizard who came to your village when you were young made... Stop Reminiscing Then do germanyfrance's Action.
(we are At a Castle, There for there should be Large Cask's of Booze in the basement)

[origamiscienceguy]

Your mind desperately searches for the golden arrow, the idea that could turn the tide of this battle. You look around for something to use. There are siege defense engines on the main wall, but they were all being manned, and you didn't want to take one of them since they were the only things doing damage to the orc formations. You try to pick up a bow and start shooting at the formation, but you have no better luck than the professionally trained soldiers. You pocket the bow and a full quiver of arrows in case you would end up needing them later. You get an idea and jog back down the stairs to the courtyard. Bento neighs at your presence and you return a greeting. You find a two-storied building and hastily enter. As you hoped, it was an inn. The innkeeper was packing her personal belongings in order to evacuate, but you stop her. "excuse me, Ma'am. May I use your most... flammable drink. It is vital for the defense..." "Yes. Take it all." She calmly replies. "The Samuel Gordon is the strongest, so I assume it would burn the best." She points to a small casket of liquor. You thank her and quickly roll the casket out the door and back up to the wall. You roll the casket to the edge of the attacking masse, and toss it down. You grab a torch and throw it immediately after. Both the casket and the torch tumbled through the air and struck the same spot. The dense liquid crushed the one orc unlucky enough to be standing directly underneath it, but the collision aerolized the highly alcoholic drink and the flaming torch set the alcahol-air mixture alight. A fireball spread from the epicenter, lighting scores of orcs aflame. Their armor and shields did nothing to stop the hungry toungues of fire from devouring them. You did lots of damage, but in the grand scheme of things, it was practically nothing. The army thousands strong kept advancing, sending up the first of their ladders. You look around for your next idea.

You spot a long, frayed rope sitting on the wall. It was most likely used in a siege engine, but became too damaged and was replaced. Nobody else was using it, so you decide to. You tie the end into a loop big enough to wrap around one of the wall's battlements. You then twirl around the loop to form a perfect circle, and cast the rope onto a battlement right at the epicenter of the orc invasion. The loop wraps around the stone, and you pull it taut. Glancing down, you get a sudden sense of vertigo, but your adrenaline in the situation counters your fear. Without a second thought, you jump off the wall. You grip the rope with all your strength as the centrifugal force grows ever stronger. Right when you feel like you can't hold on any longer, you get a reprieve. The rope pulled the stone out of its masonry and you went into a parabolic free-fall. Despite their shields being made of metal, the orcs provide enough cushion to your landing such that you don't crush every bone in your body. You tuck into a roll and spread your weight across as many of the shields as possible. It just so happened as well that the deformation in the orc's turtle formation you cause was enough for dozens of arrows to find their marks and multiple orcs go down. It doesn't take long for the disciplined orcs to patch the holes in their shield wall, but the moment of disorganization causes the defenders to score a few more lucky shots. You come to a stop straddling 4 shields. The orcs begin to buckle under your weight, but before they are able, you dash off towards the back of the army. You see the command structure of the orc army atop a small hill, bellowing orders at the attackers. You decide to run towards the sieging headquarters, since any way to make the orcs less structured could only be a good thing. As you run atop the shields, you create more momentary gaps in the shields, which arrows conveniently find their way into. You can't run at full speed due to the uneven footing and the constant need to dodge projectiles. As you reach the end of the sea of orcs, you use the last few orcs as a spring into the air. You do a full somersault and land on one knee, sending dirt billowing into the air.

The bellowing orcs stop for a moment to stare you down. From what you know, orc leaders got their place from being the best fighters, so these orcs would be tougher than the ones you fought earlier. 6 of the commanders surround you, while the tallest and broadest of them all resumes shouting orders to the troops. You suspect he is the leader of the army, but you can't get to him until you defeat the 6 underlings. They all are wearing full armor, with some gaps in the joints, but not many. They wield a variety of weapons ranging from long swords, war hammers, war cleavers, and one of them just wielded two massive cubes of stone held together with iron strips. They snarl at you, and slowly shrink their circle around you...