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Author Topic: All Bards Party  (Read 22319 times)

Maegil

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #120 on: November 28, 2016, 03:09:09 pm »

It is possible that the GM doesn't get the reference, not everybody reads Terry Pratchett. When in doubt, link.
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #121 on: November 28, 2016, 03:17:32 pm »

Hardly makes it good musical instrument if you need steady supply of ammo.

Which does raise the question of how all the people with electric guitars and theremins and what have you are powering theirs in the field.

Magic.

My character wasn't there this round, he went looking for a new instrument, probably matchboxes. The whistle is being saved for fighting bosses and serenading whitch queens in the moonlight.

@Harry: I don't know about the others, but I had loudspeakers and batteries on my utility belt.

You looted Death Whistle, legendary artifact instrument. You are still around unless you give it someone else.

@Harry: I don't know about the others, but I had loudspeakers and batteries on my utility belt.

My point was that a lot of the instruments employed require setup and resources to operate as well, so really a howitzer isn't all that different. If carrying a car battery is feasible, why not pulling a little red wagon with artillery shells in it, ripe to load and fire?

The thing is, howitzer is not meant to be musical instrument. That's where the line goes.

No, my instrument is a B. S. Johnson Chicken Plucker.  It just works like a synthesizer.

Give me a link because I don't find anything music related with search term "B. S. Johnson Chicken Plucker".

It is possible that the GM doesn't get the reference, not everybody reads Terry Pratchett. When in doubt, link.

I do read Terry Pratchet's books, at least the ones that have been translated, but I do not recall anything like that and your link doesn't make any mention to chicken pluckers. That's why I asked for links when referring to any slightly unusual instrument.
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crazyabe

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #122 on: November 28, 2016, 05:46:34 pm »

New Choice of Instrument for when I Get back: One-man_Band.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #123 on: November 28, 2016, 05:53:32 pm »

Bergholt Stuttley "Bloody Stupid" Johnson has never made anything that actually works as advertised.  They often do completely different things, or are directly opposite what you'd expect.  Although he did make a magnificent organ (If I recall correctly it has 27 stops labeled '???' and can play scores written for Squashed Frog Noises) that mostly works as advertised, somehow.  But even that was plumbed into a shower.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #124 on: November 28, 2016, 05:58:49 pm »

The thing is, howitzer is not meant to be musical instrument. That's where the line goes.

Oh fine, I'll take the second set of- ooh! Is that a jaw harp you have there, good sir? How much?
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Mallos

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #125 on: November 28, 2016, 09:26:03 pm »

I'm sticking to the accordion. PM me when I'm back, DM.
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Maegil

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #126 on: November 28, 2016, 09:40:44 pm »

My character wasn't there this round, he went looking for a new instrument, probably matchboxes. The whistle is being saved for fighting bosses and serenading witch queens in the moonlight.

You looted Death Whistle, legendary artifact instrument. You are still around unless you give it someone else.
Give it to the guild master for temporary safekeeping. Go fetch a tambourine, or maybe a dozen matchboxes or so.
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Also, a Serial Editor. Just in case, do check my previous post to see if I didn't change or added to it. I do that, a lot...

S34N1C

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #127 on: November 28, 2016, 09:45:32 pm »

Pick up my harmonica and be a backup musician for my fellows.
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DolosusDoleus

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #128 on: November 28, 2016, 10:08:56 pm »

Play a haunting melody of eldritch summoning. Beat-box to it as well.
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #129 on: November 29, 2016, 01:24:10 pm »

"Sorry Crazyabe! I went too far"

Play music to fix people ears while walking

2-1 - Being temporarily tonedeaf you grossly violate your enchanted violin, snapping all strings apart thanks to resonant frequencies enhanced by the magic.

"Oh no, I played too hard! Gotta go and get new one. Toodles!"


Follow along to the camp, keeping my didgeridoo raised to cave a certain someone's skull in.

Spoiler: MY EYES! (click to show/hide)

2 - Can't keep the thing up all the way. You need some medicine for it!

Kick the cat orc away, then strum a solo to expand the gateway to hell.

2 - The cat orc assaults! It punches you into face!

2-1 - Both the hellway and your lyre collapse on themselves.

"DAMN IT!"

No, my instrument is a B. S. Johnson Chicken Plucker.  It just works like a synthesizer.
Bergholt Stuttley "Bloody Stupid" Johnson has never made anything that actually works as advertised.  They often do completely different things, or are directly opposite what you'd expect.  Although he did make a magnificent organ (If I recall correctly it has 27 stops labeled '???' and can play scores written for Squashed Frog Noises) that mostly works as advertised, somehow.  But even that was plumbed into a shower.

Fine. Let's pretend your synthetizer is chicken plucker.

New Choice of Instrument for when I Get back: One-man_Band.

Technically that's more than one instrument, but being so dedicately tangled together it counts as one.

The thing is, howitzer is not meant to be musical instrument. That's where the line goes.

Oh fine, I'll take the second set of- ooh! Is that a jaw harp you have there, good sir? How much?

"For you, three rat ears!"

I'm sticking to the accordion. PM me when I'm back, DM.

Sure, if I remember.

My character wasn't there this round, he went looking for a new instrument, probably matchboxes. The whistle is being saved for fighting bosses and serenading witch queens in the moonlight.

You looted Death Whistle, legendary artifact instrument. You are still around unless you give it someone else.
Give it to the guild master for temporary safekeeping. Go fetch a tambourine, or maybe a dozen matchboxes or so.

Sure. Let's also assume you went back looking for new instrument two turns ago.

Pick up my harmonica and be a backup musician for my fellows.

Hmm, who's...

Ah, here!

Play a haunting melody of eldritch summoning. Beat-box to it as well.

1-1 & 4-1 - Remember to thank your backup musician, because otherwise you would be looking for new instrument. Your summoning music calls forth an eldritch mouse. It goes to terrorize cat population in closest village.

Quote from: Guild Master
Tonedeaf bard is not acceptable!

3-1 - Magic is not with you today. You pretend you were just playing some marching tune and not trying to fix problems.




Party takes a break to make some fresh bacon before continuing their journay to GLORY! Soon they stop on small cliff overseeing a plains and a large well maintained army camp. There are thousands tents in neat formation, heavily armored and armed orcs patrol around, countless watch towers are erected and manned at perimeter. On the far side of the camp is one large and lavish looking tent. Obviously that's where the Lord Über Orc resides.

Maestro steps on top of nearby convenient boulder and plays traditional tune to get your attention.

"Hear me, you magnificent bastards! My brothers and sisters in this glorious art! This is the day, this is the place when we for once and all prove to the world what is bard's worth! No more ridiculing, no more leaving us behind! After this day all adventurers shall beg on their knees for a bard to join their party, but we shall ignore them because we do so much better on our own!

Our last fights have been decent warm up for this moment, but it's time to stop playing around. Now it's time to unleash our full power! Tear the earth asunder! Bury the sun! Pull very stars down from heavens! Let our glorious music echo in every corner of the world, telling tale of total annihilation! FOR MUSIC! FOR FAME!"


Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

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Harry Baldman

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #130 on: November 29, 2016, 02:03:11 pm »

Completely miss this speech as I return to the Field of Deeds.
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DolosusDoleus

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #131 on: November 29, 2016, 02:14:09 pm »

Feedback time again! Use horrible feedback noises to weaken the enemy's mental and auditory defences.
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Ultimuh

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #132 on: November 29, 2016, 08:48:26 pm »

Commence with my sinister plan once you know who, returns.
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S34N1C

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #133 on: November 29, 2016, 08:52:35 pm »

Join the Master in his song of annihilation!
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #134 on: November 30, 2016, 08:29:40 am »

Don't destroy the world.

Do destroy the orcs though.
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