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Author Topic: All Bards Party  (Read 22686 times)

Mallos

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #90 on: November 24, 2016, 08:47:50 pm »

Angered by the damage to his accordion, the Polka Master scowls in the orc horde's general direction.

"I'm going to get you back for that, you orcish bastards." he spat bitterly at the orcs.
"Let's wrap this battle up, fiendish friend."

Aid the Fingers in destroying the remaining 20 sane orcs' minds
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Gone. Departed. Headed off toward greener pastures.

S34N1C

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #91 on: November 24, 2016, 09:17:07 pm »

"What did I miss?"

I play a song about a Phoenix to signify my return.
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As always, life is brief and transient, your posting history lasts forever, so always prioritise forum games.

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KiwiOui

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #92 on: November 24, 2016, 10:22:16 pm »

Create a shield of sound around myself, and my fellow mellows by channeling calming tones into a defensive aura.
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Kiwis- Odd man out of both the animal and plant kingdoms.
Didn't we get the pilot? Can't we scan his brain?
If we did, +1, but I think they either got scrambled by the tractor beam or got blown out into space.
This is a normal discussion, folks.

Harry Baldman

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #93 on: November 25, 2016, 01:58:24 am »

Okay then!

My new instrument shall be the artillery barrage!
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #94 on: November 25, 2016, 02:02:05 am »

Okay then!

My new instrument shall be the artillery barrage!

Excuse me? What did you say your musical instrument is? Tell me, how do you carry artillery barrage? In your pocket? Or will it be dropped on you? Do I have to drop artillery barrage on you?
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Harry Baldman

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #95 on: November 25, 2016, 10:11:08 am »

Excuse me? What did you say your musical instrument is? Tell me, how do you carry artillery barrage? In your pocket? Or will it be dropped on you? Do I have to drop artillery barrage on you?

I just really like the words "artillery barrage". Truthfully it'd probably be a howitzer on tank treads or wheels, drawn into firing range by a team of horses.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2016, 10:17:01 am by Harry Baldman »
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crazyabe

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #96 on: November 25, 2016, 11:24:28 am »

Why Not Grab a Trumpet? or do we have one Already?
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Maegil

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #97 on: November 25, 2016, 11:42:06 am »

One cannon is insufficient - "barrage" is plural; for a barrage you need two or more artillery pieces firing.

If possible, stagger them by the thousands in five or ten wheel to wheel rows for 30Km - now THAT is a proper artillery barrage!
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #98 on: November 25, 2016, 12:35:16 pm »

Angered by the damage to his accordion, the Polka Master scowls in the orc horde's general direction.

"I'm going to get you back for that, you orcish bastards." he spat bitterly at the orcs.
"Let's wrap this battle up, fiendish friend."

Aid the Fingers in destroying the remaining 20 sane orcs' minds
B. S. Johnson Chicken Plucker Player reporting for duty.

Let's see, what's appropriate for...Ahhh, B. S. Johnson, always good for surprises.  Let's play some Tocatta for Squashed Frogs in a minor.  That should do nicely.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2016, 12:45:51 pm by TheBiggerFish »
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #99 on: November 25, 2016, 01:33:29 pm »

MUST PLAY AND DANCE HARDERRRRR

6 - DO IT HARDER, BETTER, FASTER, STRONGER! You dance more than ever, your work is never over!

Get the whistle, and leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!

Stick the picks back in the bandoleer and start an easy 4-4 time Allegro ground bass on the damaged arm while pulling a basic melody's chords on the other, so that anyone who joins in can sinergise their potentials. Band together and orchestrate, guys!


Death Whistle looted! It's one real sexy skull!

1 - You play and play trying to support every rhythm of every dancer and song, get confused, pluck strings too hard, bang the archlute too hard and it falls apart in your hands. Damn B-grade artisan who cheated you out of money. Also damn good thing you got that Death Whistle. Better give it a good morning kiss and get intimately familiar with it.

Attempt throwing again.

Your target is already in Hell, the highway there is closed and they are not letting new tourists in.

Mellow out, bard: 2 - Instead of throwing orcs around you could try some more peaceful activities, like dancing.
Dance fever: 2 - Willing dance partners are not available. Orcs who are not attempting to kill you are staring flowers, chasing butterflies and giggling like a little kids.

Channel my shamanistic powers and use my Didgeridoo to empower the spirits I have previously summoned.

Dance fever: 5 - You are healed of dance fever!

4 vs 2- Using circular breathing techniques you play non-stop note, boosting strength of your spirit considerably. Though you do not have any shamanistic powers to channel, only bardic power.

Screw this noise, use theremin majiks to bend the will of the nearest orc into obeying me.

Mellow out, man: 2 - How about you just dance?
Dance fever: 5 - Or not. Smoke this pipe instead, man, you'll see stars spinning!

Channel your rage, your blood-lust and all of your hatred towards orc-kind into a epic violin solo. Observe it's effects in everyone

Mellow out, you rasist: 2 - Rasism is so last decade, bro! Join us singing about love and peace!
Dance fever: 1 - Dance too, brah!

Angered by the damage to his accordion, the Polka Master scowls in the orc horde's general direction.

"I'm going to get you back for that, you orcish bastards." he spat bitterly at the orcs.
"Let's wrap this battle up, fiendish friend."

Aid the Fingers in destroying the remaining 20 sane orcs' minds

Mellow out, speciest: 4 - This time mind altering magic is ignored in favour of action.

4 vs 2 - You have never heard this Twenty Nineth Polka of Elder Beings, but you can easily match your music to it, despite of its very eldritch origin. This polka is greater than Twenty Seventh, so good that even your mind may slip if you keep listening too long. It's effects on orcs are immediately visible. You count total 91 orcs whose mind is completely broken.

Except the King of Winds is still around.

"What did I miss?"

I play a song about a Phoenix to signify my return.

"The entire curb-stomp battle!"

3 vs 2 - Some orange birds are gathering.

Create a shield of sound around myself, and my fellow mellows by channeling calming tones into a defensive aura.

1 - Your vision of shield of sound involves spinning around rapidly, losing your balance and falling on your saxohpone. Mouthpiece drops off as do almost all keys and neck gets bended wrong way. You desperately put all pieces back together, pull neck back in correct position and hope it still works right.

Excuse me? What did you say your musical instrument is? Tell me, how do you carry artillery barrage? In your pocket? Or will it be dropped on you? Do I have to drop artillery barrage on you?

I just really like the words "artillery barrage". Truthfully it'd probably be a howitzer on tank treads or wheels, drawn into firing range by a team of horses.

Tell me how do you play Tchaikovsky's Waltz of the Flowers with a howitzer. But seriously speaking, actual musical instruments only. If it is artillery barrage you want, you can always summon one.

Quote from: Guild Master
"Huh, we are already done here?"

King of Winds can go home too.

6 vs 3 - Guild Master kicks one broken orc on its knees, plants his feet heavily on its back, and plays kick ass solo, singlehandedly banishing every single thing not supposed be here naturally. That includes King of Winds, Ultimuh's spirits, He Who Shall Not Be Named, all portals, the birds S34N1C called, magic effects, brass golems, everyone's breath and clothes of unmarried women in village few miles west. Totally wickedly awesome riff!

Only things that stand are bards and bunch of mindless orcs.

"That's it my boys and girls! Dinner is ready!"

Angered by the damage to his accordion, the Polka Master scowls in the orc horde's general direction.

"I'm going to get you back for that, you orcish bastards." he spat bitterly at the orcs.
"Let's wrap this battle up, fiendish friend."

Aid the Fingers in destroying the remaining 20 sane orcs' minds
B. S. Johnson Chicken Plucker Player reporting for duty.

Let's see, what's appropriate for...Ahhh, B. S. Johnson, always good for surprises.  Let's play some Tocatta for Squashed Frogs in a minor.  That should do nicely.


...chicken plucker? You mean those things that are used to pluck feathers off of chickens? How do you even play one?


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TheBiggerFish

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #100 on: November 25, 2016, 01:35:38 pm »

It's a Johnson.  It doesn't work as advertised.  Ever.  This one is apparently a synthesizer!
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Coolrune206

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #101 on: November 25, 2016, 02:01:56 pm »

Hell is closed? Hell no. Open the very gates of hell with a demonic duet, picking a random orc to sing for me. Then, pull a damned soul from hell, and fling it at someone. Anyone.
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Maegil

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #102 on: November 25, 2016, 02:28:49 pm »

"'Band together and orchestrate', said I, but nooooo, bunch of prima donna damn soloists that they are, each going their own way, nobody caring for the guy providing a perfectly good ground bass, forcing the support guy every other way, damn the lot of them, treating me like a trombone pick and making me break my Archlute, my poor baby. Now I'll have to go search for an instrument worthy of this bunch, like a lip harmonica or a tambourine or a scraper or a..."
Yup, gone.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2016, 07:24:45 pm by Maegil »
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What does Maegil have in common with a frag grenade?
Answer: does not suffer fools gladly.

Your friendly mysanthropic machete-toting sail-sailing sailor nut job.
Also, a Serial Editor. Just in case, do check my previous post to see if I didn't change or added to it. I do that, a lot...

Harry Baldman

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #103 on: November 25, 2016, 02:39:05 pm »

Tell me how do you play Tchaikovsky's Waltz of the Flowers with a howitzer. But seriously speaking, actual musical instruments only. If it is artillery barrage you want, you can always summon one.

I was thinking of a different Tchaikovsky piece, actually.
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ziizo

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #104 on: November 25, 2016, 03:38:09 pm »

"Must... stop... dancing.... must.... bathe.... in blood of enemies"

Shake off the effects of the song and help in killing the mindless orcs.
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.
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