Crank up the volume, and produce an ear-piercing feedback loop! Make their ears BLEED!!!
3 - You succesfully produce sound of 151 dB and direct it to closest twenty orcs. Their pig faces twist in pain as blood bursts from their ears. Rest of them simply cover their ears and endure it.
That's simply not enough blood. Nowhere enough!
((estimate on how much longer ill be in the box?))
Eh, let's say 2 turns more, this included. So after next one you can come back with a fresh musical instrument.
YOU WITH THE PUNY WHISTLE! EAT. MY. DEATH. CHORDS!
Put the volume to the max and antiphonally shred a full range of chord progressions from each arm (and what big ranges they are); try to make him swallow his own whistle so that his head asplodes. If he does make a reply with the whistle, wrap it in counterpoint, swing it overhead and blast it right back at him.
Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!
Do not belittle the Death Whistle. It's made of skull of last demon king, enchanted in such way that it will trap souls of its wielder's enemies dying in its field of vision. Then the wielder blows into it, trapped souls within are tortured and their screams are released out as sound waves of pure power. It's a legendary artifact. In fact, Guild Master's axe guitar is similar artifact, made of bones of last demon king's grandfather. Nobody knows what kind of enchantment it has as it has never done more than being a damn awesome guitar. And bloody awesome battle axe, too.
But history and facts don't have place on battlefield. Therefore!
3 - You shred your archlute with best of your ability but bloodlust is interfering, or perhaps it's just because your target is a fellow bard. Either way, he partially puts the whistle into his mouth. Not very helpful.
They interrupted my pity party. They shall die.
Strum a song of superior strength, then place my lyre on the ground and kick the physical shit out of some goblins orcs. I'm not racist.
56 - You smile, a sparkly beaming smile. It's a smile you could see on face of god who just decided to call on Armageddon, Ragnarök, and twenty other end of world scenarios because some fucker just insulted his mother. The melody starts off quiet and gentle. Then it starts increasing in volume and steadily grows more violent, harsh. In the end you are screaming for murder and plucking strings so hard that they should have broken off long time ago. Thanks to your will and power vowen into the song, lyre remains intact.
The song ends abruptly as you gently put the lyre down. The power of the song is flowing in your veins. In fact, it's pulling chords in every being's muscles, including those in orcs, their spirits and your fellow musicians. Time to let it loose.
4 - You leap right into midst of orcs and slam your fist on snout of the closest once at speed of magical hurricane. Your punch sends it flying backwards, knocking over other orcs like bowling pins. It doesn't rise up, but the others do.
Lay down some jazz tunes, inspiring my fellow bards with righteous musical fervor!
As if they need any more mental influence.
5 6 - They really didn't need this. All minds within ten kilometers are clouded with intense desire to correct each other's taste for music. With gratuitous violence, if possible. It's common for bards to have disagreement about what genre of music is best, but usually those conflicts remain... hmm, let's say
civilized. But now? Now shit's gonna get ugly.
Global effect: You like wrong genre! (if you roll 1 or 2, you will attack previous poster instead. Failure results +1 for subsequent attack roll)
Summon ancient spirits with my didgeridoo, to come to our aid!
((Dibs on multiclassing as a shaman!))
1 - You know, jazz has always grinded your gears in the wrong way. It's about time to make that particular genre go away. Permantently.
6
+1 - Spirits. Yes. Powerful spirits of ancient world in another universe. Unparalled in arts of murder. Sound of didgeridoo tears fabric of universe asunder and pulls through three spirits. Jack the Ripper. Vlad the Impaler. Monster of Udine.
KiwiOui, dodge Jack: 4
KiwiOui, dodge Vlad: 5
KiwiOui, dodge Udine: 5
A spirit wearing black cape, tophat, white mask, and brandishing knives attempts to gut the epic sax guy. But epic man dodges it without problems. Spear wielding spirit takes turn on saxophone man, but KiwiOui dodges and sics it on orcs. Spirit of Vlad greatly enjoys this chance to get impale entire army. Likewise a spirit of surgeon is redirected on horde of orcs, invigorated by the idea of cutting new specimens.
I Set my Keytar to "Massive Piano Orchastra" And Start Blasting Ork Ears.
3 - That didgeridoo is a bit eargrating, but nothing you cannot tolerate.
3 - You blast another twenty ears, probably same ones Maegil did.
"Hark! A horde of half-brains ready to fall to our superior musical tastes."
Shred the tiny brains of the tasteless orcs with a turbulent blast of Eldritch accordion song
5 - Massive piano orchestra is totally your thing.
56 - Accordion from the Deep, welcoming of the Dark, opening of the Gates. Black clouds are pulled in front of sun. The hole in reality Ultimuh tore open is redirected to another universe, The One That Is Horrible. From gates comes fingers of Him Who Shall Not Be Named, great tentacles, covered with quirming serrated spikes and mouths which sing Twenty Eighth Polka of Elder Beings.
It sings really well, far better than you could ever do. Perhaps you should invite it to be your main vocalist? Or maybe not, it would be bad for College income if all fans die in the first concert. Thirty orcs drop dead and another thirty turn may kill themselves if He Who Shall Not Be Named keeps singing. Orc mages and spirit summoners are actually rocking out. It's totally their kind of music.
Blast a good, loud F to boost our attack damage.
2 - Fuck that polka is disgusting!
1
+1 vs 2 - You blast single solid note into Mallos' ears to let your distaste known. He seems mildy annoyed.
"If isn't broke don't fix it"
Play a song of celerity, then aid Maegil via using your new speed to run towards the orc bard and kicking that whistle into his throat
4 - Nothing wrong with playing single notes.
2 - The song surely is brisk, but you forgot to weave any power into the song.
56 - It doesn't even matter. You can still dance your way through entire orc army and meet face to face with war chanter. Or nose to nose. Lips to lips. You spit on its face.
56 - Let's put that Enchanted Violin on test. You give it a hard swing the violin on face of the orc bard while the Death Whistle is still in his mouth. Legendary artifact versus enchanted violin, which one wins? The answer is: legendary artifact. Sparks and lightning strikes from the contact point between two magical items burning orc bards face before sheer strength of your swing knocks him over. The violin makes funny noises. Orc bard stands up.
attempt a field repair on my flute
Can't do.
3 - At least you don't have to attack your teammate.
"Watch out, nerf-herders! Johnny has struck up the band!"
Run interference for all those people about to hit the orc bard by distracting the rest of the orcs and spirits with a well-timed rendition of Danny Boy.
1 - Last one who played something was ziizo. It irks you no end when somebody plays enchanted instruments and doesn't use any power with it. Talk about wasted effort! That's why focus on ziizo.
6
+1 - Your altered rendition of Danny Boy awakens spirits of dead lingering around and sends them over to ziizo like a negative geysir, chilling air with their soul curling screams.
Play song of absolute clarity!
5 - In case you didn't known, scottish death metal is Maestros favourite music. Keep up good work, Harry, and you may get opportunity to be the next guild master!
3 - Overcoming bardic magic is hard as hell, but Maestro's
play reduces chances of magical disagreements by half.
Do something very productive!
6 - Golems run into midst of orc forces swinging their fists and sending anthropomorphic pigs flying in every direction. In the end they get themselves completely surrounded.
Impale!
5 - Vlad summons ghostly spears, runs around jamming them down into mouths of orcs and materializing them.
Cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut...
2 - Ghostly surgeon is less succesfull in his inquisitive and invasive medical research. Orcs realize it's best to avoid this one.
Orc bard eyes ziizo furiously, pulls the Death Whistle out of his mouth and
plays.
4 - Screams of tortured souls grow overwhelming, the unholy pain inflicted on them rips another gateway. This one is opens to Hell. Forth comes a demon, a horrible twisted creature of corruption. And another. Third's hands reach out of the gate.
Orc mages have prepared their counter spells to unleash. It's a double spell. Twin lightning dragons surge up into air and then arc back down towards where most of the party is. Water king summons layer of ankle deep water around your feets. Fire elemental flicks couple of fireballs in your direction.
Guild Master: 2
Harry Baldman: 3
MidnightJaguar: 2
Sosoku234: 2
Mallos: 3
Poohbah: 1
Draignean: 4
Ultimuh: 3
Coolrune206: 2
KiwiOui: 3
crazyabe: 2
DolosusDoleus: 2
Maegil: 4
Poohbah uses his flute as a lightning rod. Already damaged instrument can't take this abuse any more and shatters as charge of lightning dragons passes through it. Maestro, MidnightJaguar, Sosoku, Coolrune, crazyabe and DolosusDoleus are
shocked, but rest of the team manages to avoid damage.
However, next comes actual orc battle group.
Guild Master: 3
Harry Baldman: 1
MidnightJaguar: 1
Sosoku234: 4
-1Mallos: 4
Draignean: 4
Ultimuh: 4
Coolrune206: 5
KiwiOui: 4
crazyabe: 1
DolosusDoleus: 6
-1Maegil: 6
Maestro and Sosoku focuse solely on dodging and keeping their instruments safe. However Harry, MJ and crazyabe end up using their instruments are shields to save their lives. This unfortunately means Harry's and MJ's already damaged instruments break apart in front of orc onslaught. Crazyabe loses few keys off his keytar.
Coolrune, being totally cool in middle of the said orc horde does some counter strikes, tearing few spines off in the progress. DolosusDoleus likewise performs feats of murder with grace. And Meagil... well Maegil goes little overboard with whole "Don't hit yourself" pun. It transforms in his hands into "Don't strangle yourself with your own guts, that's disgusting. Keep your auto-erotic fantasies for private parties."
ziizo: 4
-1The pair of demons are breathing fire on ziizo but he rolls away barely keeping his hairs intact.
On this turn Poohbah, Harry Baldman and MidnightJaguar remember knowing when to run is better part of valor and hightail it out of combat, sprinting all the way back to College to get replacement instruments.
Shared Effects:- Unyielding fanaticism (5's are turned into 6's)
- Hulking out! (physical attacks are so much more powerful)
- You like wrong genre! (if you roll 1, you will attack previous poster instead. Failure results +1 for subsequent attack roll)
30 Brass golems
Player: Guild Master
Instrument: Electric guitar
Effects:- Shocked (50% change for -1)
Player: Sosoku234
Instrument: Damaged Trombone
Effects:- Shocked (50% change for -1)
Player: ziizo
Instrument: Damaged Enchanted Violin
Effects:- Distracted by spirits of dead (-1 to everything)
Player: Mallos
Instrument: Accordion
Effects:- Summon - fingers of Him Who Shall Not Be Named
Player: Draignean
Instrument: Amplified Cactus
Effects:Player: Ultimuh
Instrument: Damaged Didgeridoo
Effects:- Summons: Jack the Ripper. Vlad the Impaler. Monster of Udine.
Player: Coolrune206
Instrument: Damaged Lyre
Effects:- Shocked (50% change for -1)
Player: KiwiOui
Instrument: Saxophone
Effects: Player: crazyabe
Instrument: Damaged Keytar
Effects: - Shocked (50% change for -1)
Player: DolosusDoleus
Instrument: Theremin
Effects: - Shocked (50% change for -1)
Player: Maegil
Instrument: Electric Archlute
Effects: 2 - S34N1C, Harmonica
5 - Poohbah, Flute
5 - Harry Baldman, Bagpipes
5 - MidnightJaguar, Marching snare drum
Author
Topic: All Bards Party (Read 22795 times)