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Author Topic: All Bards Party  (Read 22660 times)

AoshimaMichio

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All Bards Party
« on: November 19, 2016, 10:18:16 am »
May your music shatter the heavens!




Bard's College guild master slams doors open and stomps in, his face red from anger.

"I have had ENOUGH! No more happy birthday songs 365 times per year! No more same wedding march every single time! No more dead ass boring funeral songs or stupid charity parties!" he shouts.

"Once again I heard Adventures Guild is going a dangerous world saving mission, and once again NOT A SINGLE BARD WAS INVITED! I say FUCK THOSE GUYS! They are leaving tomorrow to hunt and kill the Orc Über Lord who's raising an army! I say we go today and beat orcs so badly that next thousand orc generations will shit their pants when they hear so much as a bird singing! LET'S SHOW THEM HOW A REAL BARD FIGHTS!" Maestro jumps on first table and swings his mighty electric guitar axe high above his head.

"We are better than those sissies in their iron shells, fighters and paladins! We do not need to hide in shadows like those pussies, rogues and rangers! We fight our own fights up close, unlike those pansies in their 'magical' robes! WE ARE BARDS AND WE'RE FUCKING AWESOME!"

"Bards! Pick up your instrument and LET'S ROCK THE WORLD!"




This game is going to be somewhat episodic. First episode is what was stated; find orc army and exterminate with extreme prejudice. Shouldn't take too long. Once the goal is reached the game goes on hiatus until I figure what's next goal for the bard party.


Yep, with such a simple premise, let's get started. All you need to get started is to claim your instrument, but there's few rules about instruments.

  • It must be unique in the party. For example author avatar Guild Master has electric guitar, so nobody else can choose electric guitar. You can, however, pick acoustic quitar.
  • It must be something you can carry by yourself. Otherwise you will be left behind.
  • If it is slightly unusual or not commonly seen, give me link to some article describing the instrument. Wikipedia link works fine.
  • Bard without functional instrument is not a bard, so take care to not break it! If you do break your instrument, then you better fuck off real quick to get a replacement. In other words you will be out of the game for few turns.


Alright, let's start slaughtering our way towards army of the Orc Über Lord.
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Quote from: Hapah on July 07, 2016, 12:36:16 pm
I told you to test with colors! But nooo, you just had to go clone mega-Satan or whatever.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2016, 10:25:42 am »
Bagpipes apprentice reporting for murder!
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MidnightJaguar

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2016, 10:26:52 am »
marching snare drum guild student reporting to beat some orc heads
« Last Edit: November 19, 2016, 10:37:51 am by MidnightJaguar »
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23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

Sosoku234

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2016, 10:28:40 am »
Trombone Adept reporting for duty.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2016, 10:30:31 am by Sosoku234 »
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Ultimuh

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2016, 10:31:29 am »
Does two halves of a coconut count?
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2016, 11:27:46 am »
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 19, 2016, 10:31:29 am
Does two halves of a coconut count?

THE WHAT? Try and play me awesome song of your people with two halves of a coconut!
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Quote from: Hapah on July 07, 2016, 12:36:16 pm
I told you to test with colors! But nooo, you just had to go clone mega-Satan or whatever.
Old sigs.
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ziizo

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #6 on: November 19, 2016, 11:30:33 am »
Violinist present and ready.
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Quote from: NRDL on May 04, 2017, 11:16:07 pm
GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Mallos

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #7 on: November 19, 2016, 11:43:01 am »
Accordian-master on standby.
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Ultimuh

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #8 on: November 19, 2016, 11:45:00 am »
Quote from: AoshimaMichio on November 19, 2016, 11:27:46 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 19, 2016, 10:31:29 am
Does two halves of a coconut count?

THE WHAT? Try and play me awesome song of your people with two halves of a coconut!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzcLQRXW6B0
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Poohbah

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2016, 11:59:57 am »
my trusty weapon is a flute!!
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S34N1C

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2016, 12:00:55 pm »
Fiddle guy reporting for duty
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Quote from: RAM on April 01, 2017, 05:09:12 pm
As always, life is brief and transient, your posting history lasts forever, so always prioritise forum games.

█████ Glory to United Forenia!

AoshimaMichio

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2016, 01:00:43 pm »
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 19, 2016, 11:45:00 am
Quote from: AoshimaMichio on November 19, 2016, 11:27:46 am
Quote from: Ultimuh on November 19, 2016, 10:31:29 am
Does two halves of a coconut count?

THE WHAT? Try and play me awesome song of your people with two halves of a coconut!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzcLQRXW6B0

That's not an instrument of skill! I bet next you want to play triangle!


Quote from: S34N1C on November 19, 2016, 12:00:55 pm
Fiddle guy reporting for duty

A fiddle? That's basically a violin and we got one violing already.




Maestro whacks message on orchestra room walls using his trusty axeguitar: WENT TO KILL ORCS. CATCH UP WITH US IF YOU ARE BORED WITH THE USUAL THREE SONG REPERTOIRE.

"Alright guys, lets go!"

The band marches out of the College to north. Random by passers inquire if there's going to be a live performance somewhere to which maestro responds with smile "Sure, later" and hands out a "Join Bards' College" pamphlet.

After hour of fast paced walking the troupe is accosted by group of bandits. There's around 50 men and women, armed with swords, bows, daggers, spears and other assorted martial weapons. They have you completely surrounded, leaving no avenue of escape. Not that you really need to worry about their real ability to harm you.

"Oh, it's bards! Hoy boys, give us your all your valuables and we only smash your face, you sissy string pluckers!"



Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Hapah on July 07, 2016, 12:36:16 pm
I told you to test with colors! But nooo, you just had to go clone mega-Satan or whatever.
Old sigs.
Games.

S34N1C

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2016, 01:06:06 pm »
Quote from: AoshimaMichio on November 19, 2016, 01:00:43 pm
Quote from: S34N1C on November 19, 2016, 12:00:55 pm
Fiddle guy reporting for duty

A fiddle? That's basically a violin and we got one violing already.

in that case:

Harmonica man, Reporting for duty!

Play the highest note a harmonica is capable of and damage their ears.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2016, 10:43:13 pm by S34N1C »
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Quote from: RAM on April 01, 2017, 05:09:12 pm
As always, life is brief and transient, your posting history lasts forever, so always prioritise forum games.

█████ Glory to United Forenia!

MidnightJaguar

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2016, 01:16:59 pm »
Uh, play thisand hope it does something
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23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

Draignean

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Re: All Bards Party
« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2016, 01:22:39 pm »
Is the Amplified Cactus a valid musical instrument?
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I have a degree in Computer Seance, that means I'm officially qualified to tell you that the problem with your system is that it's possessed by Satan.
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