By contrast, what would define a "divine" not considered as abusive as hell and still maintain its "divine" nature?
Eh, it's possible. You can have a position of power and authority without your relationship with those impacted by that becoming abusive. Divine stuff has a much,
much easier time of it when they're more limited beings... stuff in the direction of the greek/roman gods (though pretty emphatically not them specifically) or small spirit type junk. But it's not impossible to have capability or nature generally ascribed to divine entities and avoid showing stereotypical abusive behaviors. Stupidly difficult for most monotheistic formulations given the whole physical reality is what it is with everything that says about the creator entity's decision making thing, but not impossible.
You just have to avoid things like capricious or disproportionate harm (so hell type stuff is right out, eye parasites are right out if there's the ability to prevent them (unless you're the god of eye parasites and bugger everyone else, I guess), genocide/mass murder is
probably off the table for the specific divinity, etc., etc.), allow for some degree of give and take that's not entirely one-sided/at your whim, so on and so forth. Stuff that makes for a relationship that's not master and servant with a side of "beatings will continue until morale improves
also they'll probably happen occasionally regardless".
When you're dealing with a relationship where all the power is on one side, it withholds the right to inflict any amount of harm on you it pleases, and there's no check or balance or means of leaving... that shit has a real hard time being healthy, y'know? It's not
impossible but the standard of behavior for the one in power is real damn high, and unfortunately most scripture abrahamic or otherwise ascribes behavior to their divine that doesn't meet it at some point or another.
Though "made it and dumped it" sort of formulations sorta' get a pass. You could call it abusive by way of neglect but mostly it's just
not a relationship anymore. The divine's kinda' a prick but they're also just not there so... *shrugs*