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Author Topic: We need a wall along the Elvish border  (Read 4899 times)

Bludulukus

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #15 on: December 30, 2016, 03:55:15 am »
"Look, I know Urist personally. Great guy, terrific, terrific. Absolutely terrific mayor! But here's the thing, this guy is totally weak. Completely weak in fact. He makes this mountainhome look like a joke to everybody. Take a look at my record. I built a YUGE pump stack. Not only was it yuge, it was a beautiful thing too. I still get compliments to this day. People everywhere are always telling me, "Geshud, that pump stack you built is the most gorgeous pump stack, I've ever seen".

You want to know why it was such a success? Because I know how to cut deals. I know how to get dwarves together. Everyone told me it couldn't be done. But as I've been saying, and wrote a whole chapter on in "The Art of the Fortress" you have to know how to use leverage. You need to know your leverage, and just be ruthless in making these deals.

So people, I want you to join me! We're going to build a yuge wall to keep the elves out. In fact, we're gonna make the humans pay for it!
« Last Edit: December 31, 2016, 02:52:45 am by Bludulukus »
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Bumber

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #16 on: December 30, 2016, 04:34:15 am »
You misspelled 'yuge' in the last sentence.
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Asin

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #17 on: December 30, 2016, 07:10:19 am »
"Wait, sir. Why should the humans pay for the wall? I thought we were keeping elves out."
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George_Chickens

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #18 on: December 30, 2016, 09:13:01 am »
Don't blame me, I voted for Urist Sandshare
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Quote from: MrRoboto75 on December 10, 2020, 04:32:45 pm
Ghosts are stored in the balls?[/quote]
Quote from: ArchimedesWojak on November 20, 2020, 08:50:24 am
also George_Chickens quit fucking my sister

Gwolfski

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #19 on: December 30, 2016, 09:55:38 am »
Quote from: Asin on December 30, 2016, 07:10:19 am
"Wait, sir. Why should the humans pay for the wall? I thought we were keeping elves out."

The elves are too poor!
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Quote from: Sprin on January 25, 2017, 12:14:46 pm
Eventually when you go far enough the insane start becoming the sane

Asin

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #20 on: December 30, 2016, 09:59:10 am »
I voted for none of them.

They all can go jump into magma for all I care.
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Fleeting Frames

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #21 on: December 30, 2016, 10:44:26 am »
Quote from: Gwolfski on September 13, 1974, 08:29:33 am
The elves are too poor!
The average elf-hating overseer makes the wall out of their corpses anyway....
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FantasticDorf

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #22 on: December 30, 2016, 12:05:48 pm »
New's flash! Urist McTrump's new broker adviser is mentioning that they should steal trade from the E.U (Elven Union) at the expense of the human hamlet "Salty Breetains" exit of their government by buying all their stock with wooden imitation trade goods in a 'yuge' ripoff trade and forward the proceeds to fund a arms race with Snagamir Putin!

Though Urist McTrump is expected to get a headstart with superior refinement and steel, the goblins have a much wider slave labour economy & spy network looking to strike & disrupt production. In a statement today Urist McTrump commented drunkenly in a hour long gargling rant about the importance of truthfulness & hard work plus craftmanship before regaining composure and ending the speech with "Its gonna be great"
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Asin

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #23 on: December 30, 2016, 12:18:28 pm »
Question: How does Urist McTrump feel about swamp whiskey or longland beer?


                                 -Sincerely, Urist McTavernkeeper
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☼Another☼

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #24 on: December 30, 2016, 12:46:43 pm »
Urist Mc Trump, what are your thoughts on NBTU? (No babysnatchers together unified)?
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muldrake

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #25 on: December 31, 2016, 05:33:26 pm »
Elves are horrible nuisances.  It seems like every interaction with an elf involves them being a complete jerkwad.
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FakerFangirl

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #26 on: January 04, 2017, 07:17:00 am »
Make Woodcrafting Great Again!
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"Should we call a beak dog a gobbo doggo?" - Relevant_-_-Username

ReynTheLord

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #27 on: January 04, 2017, 11:48:45 pm »
Make EagleMurdered great agai...

NO URIST MCDOOMGUY, STOP IT BEFORE YOU GET THE CIRCUS IN TOWN!
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I am currently trying to comprehend what sick, mad, dwarven mind came up with the fortress name "Lancefondled", because it wasn't me.

Nilbert

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #28 on: January 06, 2017, 05:53:04 pm »
Excellent and hilarious thread! 
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Asin

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Re: We need a wall along the Elvish border
« Reply #29 on: January 08, 2017, 06:52:38 pm »
Quote from: Asin on December 30, 2016, 12:18:28 pm
Question: How does Urist McTrump feel about swamp whiskey or longland beer?


                                 -Sincerely, Urist McTavernkeeper

Sir?
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