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[helmacon]

Sure, the societal viewpoint needs to change. I agree.

Until that happens, trying to help someone is likely to create more problems than solve one.

The societal viewpoint is a factor outside my control.

To that end, he is beyond help in the sense that he is beyond my capacity to help him. Any attempt to help him relies on factors outside of our control. Until these factors change by some other process, attempting to help him is only to the detriment of myself. Sure, he was getting better, but without a constant and uninterrupted influence, there is no way to really help him. What I did before was essentially meaningless without a means to sustain it. I wasted the effort, and hurt myself in the process.

I would not recommend that someone in my position do what I did.

Historically, when it comes to societal issues such as this, they tend to resolve and dissipate over a generational change instead of a changing of individuals. The older generation dies out, and the newer generation holds different views innately. I doubt that even if society was completely accepting and benign towards theses individuals we would be able to rehab all the racists. Racism, though not non-existent in the younger generation, is much more prevalent in older generations. Eventually, the older generations will die out, and racism will be less prevalent in society as a whole. I'm sure by then we will have a whole host of other problems for society to worry about by then, but thats most likely how this issue will resolve itself.

I suppose that my posts were simply of the concern that if someone who is in a similar position to what I was back in high school were to read it, they would think they should act as I did. They should not. It will only be to your detriment. They are beyond your capacity to help them.

[wierd]

I disagree.

your response is indicative of the flipside of the problem, which i mentioned.  when we push people away, we ourselves become intolerant, and for the same reason: pain, and fear.

you went into it ignorant of the risk of that pain. it hurt you, and still hurts you, to see your dad relapse.

society does not change without a reason to change.  I am pointing out the reason, and direction i believe it needs to go.

again, i disagree with your position.  people DO need to try, as failure to try is the only true failure. they need to go in understanding the risk and consequences of failure though.  you knew you needed to act, but did not understand how that would hurt you if you failed. It hurt you enough that you dont want others to be hurt too. I understand and appreciate that.  More than anything, i am grateful that you tried.

It is very possible that we just cannot understand the pain of failure in this respect without feeling it ourselves. However, even when we fail, we are not alone.  No man is an island. we cannot stand alone and bear the weight of the world. there is nothing wrong in admitting that you cant do it alone.  rather than giving up, we should seek such help, and when people seek it, we should give it.

Referring somebody to a group where they can get healthy reinforcement is still helping somebody.

[BorkBorkGoesTheCode]

OP is no longer posting.

[IHaveAFewQuestions]

Oh man I really appreciate the discussion that's been going on but I've found a much better forum for my DF questions, so I'll be residing over there.

Link: http://www.thebestforumever.com/

[IHaveAFewQuestions]

If you must know the truth, know that I really was trolling.

I have outsmarted you all, and with this comes enlightenment.

May you find the answers to the questions you ask.

[wierd]

Troll or not, my position is unchanged.

I don't get angry at trolls.  I appreciate them as dark comedy.

[Tiruin]

Oh man I really appreciate the discussion that's been going on but I've found a much better forum for my DF questions, so I'll be residing over there.

Link: http://www.thebestforumever.com/

If you must know the truth, know that I really was trolling.

I have outsmarted you all, and with this comes enlightenment.

May you find the answers to the questions you ask.

Huh, well there goes my raised eyebrows at 'this really doesn't look legitimate but on the offhand that it is actually someone doing this in all honesty' But in all honesty--there is no 'outsmarting' here; when people deal with vague happenings, people proceed with a resolution towards them, rather than 'be fooled on honest impression'. You are no smarter than you were when you did all this, unfortunately, as enlightenment comes with understanding instead of connivance.

Hope you learned from the discussion however.