School's started, so the pace of updates will probably slow to one a week. The Citadel has a lot of side stuff on it and it's built like a maze, so I apologize if I miss something. I intentionally omitted the Keeper and C-sec spy quests, though.
It's time to visit the embassies we learned about. This is where races that aren't actually represented on the Council do government stuff.
The humans have one embassy, while the volus and elcor share another. I think there's supposed to be a hanar one too, but we haven't met a hanar yet and I couldn't find their embassy in-game anyway.The big grey guy on the right is an elcor. I love these guys.Din: (sigh) I am Din Korlak, volus ambassador. Is there something I can do for you, Earth-clan?
Shepard: You seem to have a bit of a chip on your shoulder, Din.
Din: You humans are new to the Citadel, and yet the Council has granted you great favor.
Since elcor use pheremones to communicate alongside spoken language, they speak in monotone and have to explicitly state their emotion. It's used for a great gag in the third game, if we ever get that far.Din: Hmph. Details. We still have no real say in the decisions that affect Citadel space.
We're in the same boat as you, asshole.
I hate this guy. The paragon/renegade interrupt mechanic didn't come until Mass Effect 2, but I wish there were some option to punch this guy. Volus just suck in general, but this guy's a dick.Shepard: What is it you do here?
Din: I look out for the best interests of the volus people. No easy task considering how often we are overlooked by the Council.
Calyn: Chastising rebuke, Din. The Council favors your species greatly.
Din: You are naive. The Earth-clan will be invited to the Council long before our species will.
Shepard: Why aren't the elcor or volus part of the Council?
Din: All species must prove themselves before they join the Council. All but the Earth-clans, it would seem.
Because colonizing and settling a whole bunch of dangerous space that none of the other Citadel races would touch isn't "proving yourself."Calyn: Dismissive: Ignore the volus ambassador, human. He is incorrect in his assessment.
Din: Really? How long have we been waiting? How long do you think we'll continue to wait? Bah. This talk is wasted on humans.
The volus never join the Council. If this guy is in charge of representing them, then it's obvious why. Shepard: I'd like to know more about the volus.
Din: I'm sure our history and culture would bore you, Earth-clan.
That's why I asked about your people on my free time. Because I thought it would be boring. It's like trying to talk to a social justice warrior that somehow loops all the evils of the world around to being your fault.Shepard: Actually, I would like to know more about your history.
Din: My people came to the Citadel shortly after the asari and salarians had discovered it. We were instrumental in establishing a standardized galactic economy. However, despite our long association with the Citadel and our many contributions to galactic society, we still do not hold a seat on the Citadel.
Shepard: Tell me about volus culture.
Din: We are tribal by nature, but our ways are not violent. We barter and trade our lands and tribe members in order to increase status. Larger tribes often engulf smaller ones and eventually split again. Our society is very malleable, and our government is always shifting and changing. Since we're not physically adept, we trade our services for protection.
Later games in the series get better about this, but in the first game every race has a specific role much like in Star Trek or Star Wars. The volus, as told by Din here and Barla Von in previous updates, are a race of slimy bankers and traders. At least they're not a Jewish stereotype like Watto in The Phantom Menace.
I think Din's statement about "trading tribe members" is referencing slavery, but he wouldn't use that when trying to make his culture seem awesome and egalitarian and way better than stupid *human* society.
Shepard: What is this place?
Din: You are in the embassy for the volus and the elcor.
Calyn: Your ambassador is next door, in his own office.
Din: In this shared space, I aid my fellow volus. When I'm not being interrupted.
And that's about all we have to learn from this douchebag. Next up, we talk to the elcor Calyn.Calyn: Pleased greeting. Human, it is always good to see your kind. I am Ambassador Calyn. Genuine query: Is there something I can do for you this day?
Fans of Knights of the Old Republic might remember that the HK droids also announced their emotional state before speaking. However, the HK droids actually were capable of expressing emotion through their tone of voice, so it wasn't quite as necessary. In certain situations it actually got to be pretty annoying. However, the elcor appear much less frequently than HK droids in KOTOR.Shepard: What do you do here?
Calyn: Honestly: I work to bring the problems and requests of the elcor groups to the attention of the Council.
Din: Ha. They only give us these positions to keep us quiet. The Council doesn't care about our races.
Says mister-tenfold-territory over there.Calyn: Chastising rebuke: Your tone is inappropriate, Din. This human is not to blame for your malcontent or your misconceived suspicions.
Shepard: Tell me more about your species.
Calyn: Genuine enthusiasm, I delight in telling the history of my people. It is agreeable to share our culture with others.
Shepard: Tell me about the history and origins of the elcor.
Calyn: With their help, we discovered the relay closest to our system and from there, the Citadel. Proudly: Within one lifetime we established a regular route to the Citadel and quickly became one of the more active species living on this great station.
I actually really like the elcor. They're like a friend who's not very good at expressing themselves, but they have hidden depths and a confidence you wouldn't imagine at first glance. They're also conceptually interesting, being a non-bipedal race of elephant people that can only speak in a monotone. If there were a tabletop RPG set in the Mass Effect universe, I would play an elcor.
Shepard: I'd like to know more about the culture of the elcor.
Calyn: Frankly, we elcor prefer the safety and familiarity of our own colonies to the confines of space travel. Our society is built on small tight-knight groups, though we are always welcoming to outsiders. Our government tends to be very stable. Our people are not very comfortable with sudden changes.
There's actually a third topic about elcor speech, but I forgot to select it in the game. Oops. At least I covered it in the commentary.Shepard: Goodbye, Ambassador.
After that we talk to Avina, the VI of Citadel station.
She's like low-budget Cortana.
She's modelled after an asari, probably because they were the first race to find the Citadel.
I won't be covering Avina all that much, I just wanted to show her since she won't be relevant ever again. Trust me, you're not missing anything: all she does is give directions and exposition that we've already heard two or three times before. This goes for every encounter with Avina; there's three or four terminals, iirc, and none of them have anything interesting to say.
Up next is to visit Executor Pallin, Garrus's boss:
Shepard: I came on my own. I need information.
Pallin: You humans are always so curious. Always sticking your fingers into someone else's pie. Is that the right expression?
Ooooooooo he used a human phrase incorrectly in order to demean us and then satirically asked if that was the correct expression that's a sick buuuuurnPallin: Uh, never mind. Forget I asked. Was there something you needed, Commander?
Shepard: I get the feeling you're not too fond of humans.
Pallin: No, I just don't trust your kind. Not yet. You humans are eager to take all the power you can get. And you're being given quite a lot. If the Council wants to make humanity their new favorite pet, that's their business. But I don't have to like it.
We only just got our first Spectre due to extraordinary circumstances, and the Council initially didn't want to hear anything about protecting human colonies in dangerous areas of space--colonies that the Council itself encouraged, according to Anderson. In my headcanon, there's a Fox News-like agency spreading panic and fearmongering, inciting distaste towards humans for increased viewership. Every alien race seems to think that humans are getting preferential treatment when in reality we're just as screwed as every non-Council race.
If this game had any bite to it, it might have tried to say something about Mexican immigration to America, or even refugees. However, that remains unexplored. Mass Effect is a strictly PG-13 take on the future, which will only become more apparent as the update progresses.
Pallin: Good. Then fight for it. But don't expect the rest of us to just sit back and let you take it. I'm a busy man, Commander. Are we done here?
Shepard: What do you know about Spectres?
Oh, Shepard. You poor sweet child. Never change.Pallin: They're the right hand of the Council, or so they like to be called. More like the underhanded side of the Council.
Shepard: What do you have against the Spectres?
Pallin: I can't abide any organization that considers itself above the law. Especially when it's left up to each individual Spectre to decide when and how to "bend the rules".
Shepard: Sometimes you have to bend the law to keep people safe.
Pallin: I've been with C-Sec for thirty years. I've never had to break the law to do my job. Not once.
You've also never had to defend the entire galaxy against a race of giant sentient machines that wiped out all intelligent life in the galaxy and are coming back for round two.
Just sayin'.Pallin: There are over two hundred thousand C-Sec agents. Some of them are going to be bad. But we don't turn a blind eye to corruption like the Spectres do. We do our best to find and punish any officer who breaks the law. Spectres--they'll never come under that kind of scrutiny.
Shepard: The galaxy needs people like that, people who do the dirty jobs.
Pallin: I agree, but they need to be held to a higher standard. They need to be held accountable. Saren's out of control. We both know that. But because he's a Spectre, the Council doesn't want to do anything about it. Is that the kind of person this galaxy needs?
Here we can choose to say yes or no. I picked "no", but Shepard doesn't seem to realize that this was a yes-or-no question.Shepard: But not all Spectres are like Saren.
Pallin: True, but the potential is always there.
Now we ask him about C-sec.Shepard: Tell me about C-Sec.
Pallin: We're a civilian government agency, though many of our members have had military training. Of course, as the C-Sec representative to the council, I spend most of my time liaising between the two.
We can also ask about the Saren investigation under the Investigate menu, but it doesn't give us much:Shepard: Tell me about your investiation into Saren.
Pallin: Sorry, Commander. I don't make a habit of giving out details about ongoing investigations.
Near the embassies and Pallin's office is a little bar, where we can meet these Marines who are presumably on shore leave.I'm going to transcribe their ambient dialogue--what they're saying in the background while you're not actually talking to them.Fredricks: The Consort would never reveal her secrets.
Marine 1: Of course she wouldn't. She'd be tossed out the nearest airlock if she did!
Marine 2: I suppose.
Fredricks: Besides, Nick, the Consort's nothing like the girls back on the colonies. She's... she's...
Marine 1: You don't *have* to do it with her. You can just talk to her if you want.
Fredricks: Is that all you did, Jaz? Just talk?
Marine 1: I didn't say that!
Fredricks: Ha! I bet you did, to.
They sound more like shy middle-schoolers in the locker room than drunk, rowdy Marines talking about a famous local prostitute. I'll talk more about the Consort soon; we'll be meeting her next. But for now, let's talk to Fredricks:Fredricks: Is there something I can do for you?
Kaidan: Relax, Private, this isn't an inspection.
Fredricks: Right, sorry. What can I do for you, Commander?
Shepard: What can you tell me about the asari Consort?
Fredricks: I, ah, well, she's an asari who works here as... that is, she helps people with... things.
Uh huh. Sure. I think Fredricks is the one who was too shy to bang her.Kaidan looks stoned out of his mind in this picture and that's hilarious.Fredricks: I, uh, no. I never did. Ech, I couldn't afford it. It costs half a year's credits just to go in and talk to her.
Shepard: Can you at least tell me where I can find her?
Fredricks: Sure, she's across the bridge from the embassies.
Ashley: Thanks kid. Have fun. Try not to get into too much trouble.
And with that, we're seeing the Consort. But first we have to go through her receptionist.Nelyna: Would you like me to see when the Consort will be able to meet with you?
Nelyna: Mm, I'm afraid not. Yeah, you must understand, there are many who seek the Consort's services. But if you wish to leave your name, she'll make every effort to meet with you.
Seems legit.Shepard: Commander Shepard. I'm with the Spectres.
Nelyna: Excellent. You should hear something in... hmmm, three or four months.
BWAAAAAAAHHShepard: Nobody's worth that much of a wait!
Nelyna: Well, that's not for me to judge. I have your name and you'll be contacted. Is there anything else?
We might as well ask about the consort, since we're here and made an appointment.Nelyna: It is difficult to explain. She is many things to many people, and something different for each. Some seek her for advice, some for entertainment, others still for pleasure. Most of the time, our clients won't realize what they were seeking until after she has provided it for them.
Shepard: You make her sound like some kind of oracle.
Nelyna: No, not in the usual sense. She is merely a woman. A woman with remarkable compassion and a generous spirit. I suggest you make an appointment and see for yourself!
This part really, really bothers me.
The Consort is kind of like a geisha: a person hired to serve tea, play games, tell jokes and stories, make conversation, look pretty and entertain guests. It's a very traditional Japanese profession that explicitly did not include sex. This is blended with prostitution, where you pay her for sex. It doesn't mesh, ya know?
Take Star Wars for example. Jabba the Hutt keeps half-naked, all-female slaves that could very well be hookers. It'd make sense because Jabba is a crime boss who keeps a crew of bounty hunters, drug addicts and brutish aliens. It would make less sense if he *wasn't* also a pimp. Prostitution would be a believable element of Star Wars because it would, in that case, reflect a part of the real world we live in.
On the other hand we have the Consort. She owns her own business, charges exorbitant rates, picks her own clients, apparently never suffers any of the numerous health risks of public sex, and her chief customers are shy, nervous Marines that don't even want to have sex with her. It doesn't add up on many fronts and breaks the illusion.
I promise I'll give a warning next time I'm about to go on a boring tangent.
Nelyna: I am one of the Consort's acolytes. Many of the people here today will not see the Consort, but they expect to be attended to just the same. It is our job to ensure that they leave contented.
Shepard: What exactly do you attend to?
Nelyna: Well, each acolyte has her unique abilities. Some soothe with song, others with conversation. As much as possible we seek to match the needs of our clients to the skills of our acolytes. My specialty is touch. My fingertips can find every tension point in your body... and relieve it.
Aaaah. So they're Sensate rejects from Planescape: Torment. Gotcha.
I'd love to hear Kimaxsi Adder-Tongue voice acted. Shepard: I'd like to try out your services.
Nelyna: Excellent! I will add you to our client list. We should be able to see you in... hmm, three or four months.
YOU'RE JUST STANDING AT THE DESK
Whatever, let's blow this joint.Shepard: I think I'm done here.
Nelyna: Aw. Well, I hope that you will return again in the future. We always enjoy seeing new clients.
Nelyna: Yes, Sha'ira?
Sha'ira: Send the Commander up to see me. I wish to speak to him.
Neylna: Huh. It appears the Consort has taken notice of you. She'd like to meet with you now.
Shepard: What does she want to see me for?
Nelyna: I don't know. You'll have to ask her yourself. Just head upstairs. She'll be waiting for you.
And so we go upstairs.Sha'ira: I've heard a great many things about you since your arrival here on our Citadel.
Shepard: What exactly do you do?
Bioware must put redundant options in different dialogue trees to make sure that players don't miss stuff. It's good design for most players, but if you're already the type to pick every dialogue option then it makes Commander Shepard seem kinda slow on the upkeep.Sha'ira. That depends on your needs. I offer advice to some, comfort to others. I have a certain problem that could use your expertise.
Shepard: Tell me about this problem you're having.
Sha'ira: I have a friend. Septimus, a retired turian general. I won't discuss the details, but he wanted me to be more than I could be.
Sha'ira: If you would speak to him as a fellow soldier, I believe he will listen to you and let the matter be.
Shepard: What happened between you?
Sha'ira: I respect his privacy too much to go into details. If he wishes to tell you what happened, that is his prerogative.
Shepard: What exactly do you want me to tell him?
Sha'ira: Appeal to his sense of honor. Remind him of his position as a general.
Sha'ira steps in close:She doesn't embrace Shepard, she isn't whispering and I know this isn't an innuendo, so it's just awkward.
Tali: She knows we can still hear her, right?
Ashley: Shh, let her do her thing.Sha'ira: Now I must ask you to take your leave. I have many clients waiting to see me.
So we head back to Chora's Den to have a chat with General Friendzone.They sure did reopen quick, considering the gun battle, multiple homicide, explosives, etc.
We catch Septimus moping in a corner, exactly as Sha'ira said:Shepard: What's bothering you, General?
Septimus: I've seen a lot of horrible things in my days and there's only one woman in this damn galaxy that helps me forget it.
Septimus: 'Cause she rejected me. Me! Septimus Oraka, general of the turian fleet!
I don't understand! I'm such a nice guy!Shepard: Is she really worth it? There must be other women.
Septimus: It's not just any woman I want. It's her, and her alone. Look kid, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but don't waste your time.
Shepard: General, did you ever win a battle by moping in a bar?
Septimus: Ha, war! That's what this feels like all right. How did I let it come to this? So you think it's that easy? Just straighten up and act like a general?
Well, I mean, that's what's gonna happen in your next line regardless.Tali: It would be more productive than sitting here.
Shepard: This is no place for someone of your stature, General.
Septimus: All right. I'll go to her... after I've had a cold shower, or two. Say, you're a bright kid. Would you be interested in earning a few credits?
Shepard's not the kind of guy to turn down some cash on the sly. Or at least he isn't in this specific instance.Shepard: What do you want me to do?
Septimus: There's an elcor diplomat out there who believes Sha'ira gave up his secrets.
Tali: Why would he believe such a thing?
Septimus: Because I told him. Look, I just need you to convince him of the truth.
Septimus: You'll bring him proof. Take this datapad. It shows where I got my info. It will exonerate Sha'ira and convince the elcor.
Shepard: Who am I taking it to and where is he?
Septimus: His name is Xeltan. He's an elcor diplomat. He's over in the embassies complaining about Sha'ira.
He's in the same place that the volus and other elcor were, but there was no point in mentioning him until now.Septimus: Well, here's to soldiers acting like soldiers. Thanks, Commander. You know... you might make a good general yourself one day.
Or maybe you'll be doing my job a few years later, still as a Commander, while I sit on my ass in the Presidium. Just sayin'.We're done here, so it's time to visit the Consort again before we go talk to Xeltan.Shepard: It was my honor to aid you.
Sha'ira: You are too kind, Commander, but I would not expect you to help me out of the kindness of your heart. I also have one more thing to give you, if you are interested.
Shepard: I'd be honored.
Sha'ira: I offer a gift of words. An affirmation of who you are, and who you will become...
Sha'ira: This may be who you are, but it is not who you will become. It only forms the basis for your future greatness. Remember these words when doubt descends, Commander.
You can pick "That's it?" here, and the Consort will sex you up as an additional reward. I never picked it because it sounded extremely douchey based on what appears in the choice wheel. Here's the scene, with somebody else's Femshep for variety's sake. Don't be worried, it's extremely tame.Shepard: You have quite a gift, Sha'ira.
Sha'ira: Thank you. Not everyone appreciates it as you do. Never underestimate the power of words.
It's much more emphasized in the sequels, but a recurring theme in Mass Effect is Shepard's power--and resposibility--as a leader. Although Shepard is an action hero-flavored blank slate, it goes a long way towards giving him/her an identifiable character arc despite being the player's avatar.Sha'ira: And now, I must ask you to leave. I have done everything I can for you.
I kinda goofed by not meeting Xeltan before seeing Sha'ira for the reward, but all we would have gotten is another sidequest that I wouldn't record anyway.
Speaking of, here's Xeltan.Shepard: I know who revealed your secret. It was a turian named Septimus.
Xeltan: Unbelieving, I know this Septimus and he could not learn my secrets. The only way he could learn them is from the asari Consort.
Xeltan: Confused, this is difficult to fathom. If the turian could learn this on his own... dismayed, anyone can discover my secret.
Shepard: Septimus is a powerful man and it wasn't easy for him to find.
Xeltan: Relieved, I suppose you are correct, human. Thank you for this information. Startled realization, I must speak with the Consort. She will be most displeased with my actions. Anxious request, please, human, if you will excuse me, I must go now.
Shepard: I'm sure she'll forgive you. It was an honest mistake.
This is the angle we get while Xeltan walks away, because they didn't make a walk cycle for elcor characters. I don't blame them; there's probably less than 10 elcor in the entire series that you can interact with, and quadrupeds are a pain in the ass to animate.Din: I'm sure the Earth-clan stands to profit from this way.
Calyn: Apologetic, do not listen to my volus compatriot. It was a good thing you did, regardless of your intentions.
The Xeltan sub-plot was supposed to affect Mass Effect 2 in imported saves. If you didn't speak to Xeltan, Sha'ira has to leave the Citadel because of his accusations; if you did talk to him, she could stay.However, a bug makes it so that Sha'ira always has to leave, regardless of what happens.
And that's it for the optional Citadel stuff that I wanted to cover. Next time: We finally get off the bloody Citadel and start being a Spectre!