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[OceanSoul]

No Jeans, says Evan's Gel Lion: Summons a talking lion made of slime for 2d3 hours that attacks anyone wearing jeans. Will also obey the commands of anyone named "Evan".

(guess what it's supposed to sound like)

[birdy51]

Oh Sheen Soul - Your soul becomes bright, reflecting whatever mood you happen to be in for 2d4 Turns. In addition, your spells deal twice as much damage, while you yourself also take twice as much damage.

[OceanSoul]

Bar-Thieve Hun: Summons a mongolian rouge that attempts to take anything relating to a bar, including barbells, alcohol, barkeeps, the possessions of someone named Bart, etc. for d6 hours. After the spell expires, everything he stole that has not yet been returned is given to the caster.

[birdy51]

Spam Salesman - Summons a merchant who attempts to sell you kitchen appliances and accessories.

[OceanSoul]

Spam Salesman - Summons a merchant who attempts to sell you kitchen appliances and accessories.

Wouldn't a spam salesman attempt to sell us canned processed meat?
(for those that weren't here, some spambot account tried to sell people stuff with irrelevant posts in threads)

Toad's Banishment: Summons a toad that, when in contact with someone who broke a rule of the place he's currently in, banishes that person out of that place, and prevents them from returning there for 1d6+3 months. The toad seeks out rule breakers and is hard to kill, but only lasts for 1d10 turns.

[Blood_Librarian]

Sphere of nihilism
Any being who touches or interacts with the sphere physically no longer believes in reality. as for looks, it's just a white sphere that glows pretty like. the sphere lasts as long as someone is looking at it. the minute no one is believed to be looking at it ceases to be.

[OceanSoul]

Spear of No Liaison: Summons a steel spear, or enchants an existing spear, that deals an extra Xd(X+1) damage, where X is the amount of allies the attacked currently has present in the vicinity plus the greatest whole number that is less than the cube root of the amount of the attacked's total allies. Once the spear has done more than 100 extra damage this way, it disappears/loses the enchantment. The caster cannot recast the spell until 24 hours after the spell wears off.

[evictedSaint]

Silver Tongued Devil

Causes the target of the spell to double their charisma for xd4 turns, where x is the casters level.  Also turns the targets tongue to silver for the same duration, preventing coherent speech.

[OceanSoul]

Sale; Vertical Deal: As long as an object or set of objects can and is/are positioned vertically (upright), the caster gets a 20% discount on them. The percent discount decreases by 4% for each time in the last week this spell has been used.

[Karnewarrior]

Phantasmal Assassin  [Light Magic Novice, Dark Magic Novice | 20 Mana]

Summons 1d4 Phantasmal Assassins to slay the casters enemies for 2d4 rounds. Phantasmal assassins deal 1d6 damage and attack once per round, and cannot be targeted by any non-ethereal creature. This is a good aligned spell, and an evil individual casting this spell will be attacked by his Phantasmal assassins after combat concludes for the duration of the spell.

It's not a game
I'm not a robot AI challenging you
I'm not a phantom
I'm in your face and
I'm here to see it through

Right before your eyes
Watch us multiply
Come to claim our rights - it's time!

~Phantasmal Chant

[/i]

[OceanSoul]

Fun Tassel Ace, Sassin' (conjuration): Summons 1d4 jovial masters of sequins, glitter, ribbon, and other such decoration for 2d4 rounds. They can deal 1d6 damage with a ribbon whip or sequin shrikes once per turnThey gain +1 to all rolls at a party. When they talk with any sentient being, they insult them, forcing the sassed to roll will to resist spending the turn trying to attack the Ace. The will roll gets -1 for every failed taunt the Aces have said since they were summoned. Allies get +2 to resist the sass.

[OceanSoul]

In honor of a certain other thread's "revival", I cast Revive Thread!

Metal Snake Portal (Summoning): Conjures a portal in front of or otherwise near the caster. Lasts an amount of turns based on the power of the spell. Each turn, roll a d6.
1: A frail, skeletal snake is summoned.
2: a normal non-venemous snake is summoned.
3, 4, or 5: A metal snake is summoned.
6: 3 normal snakes are summoned, and the duration of the portal is reduced by an additional 1 turn.
Snakes are under the caster's control in a general sense. The portal can be entered, but stakes will push you out of the portal. While in the portal, there is a chance you will be summoned as a snake, becoming one for d6+1 turns.

[FallacyofUrist]

Circle of Healing(runes): This spell inscribes a circle of magical runes into the floor around the target. The circle has a 9 foot diameter. At the end of each turn, everybody within the circle will be healed of one of their wounds at random. After healing 10 wounds, the circle fades.

[OceanSoul]

Preston's Halving Box: Target a creature that is not moving or moving slowly; a box appears around them, trapping them for the duration of the turn. If they are still in the box at the end of the turn, an ethereal saw cuts the box in half, turning the creature into 2 copies of itself, each with half the stats of the original. Specifically, half of the creature's statistics are selected, and one copy has the same stats in those statistics and below-average stats in the other statistics. The other copy has the same stats for the other statistics. The way the statistics are split is mostly random, but strength and spell-casting ability tent to end up on different copies. The copies last d6+1 turns, and if one copy is destroyed, the other copy becomes the original creature after d3 turns.

[birdy51]

Kill - The target is now dead. Period.